


Finding Love In The Fallout

by DestielHardcoreLove, Swlfangirl



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fallout, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Badass Castiel, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, Mpreg, Post-Apocalypse, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-06-25 23:14:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 71,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15650925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielHardcoreLove/pseuds/DestielHardcoreLove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swlfangirl/pseuds/Swlfangirl
Summary: The year is 2287,  nearly four hundred years since the first bombs fell and completely decimated the world.  The only survivors?  Ones who found their ways into Vaults or those who were lucky enough to survive the high levels of radiation.  Once the smoke cleared and the people re-emerged from the underground, so did all the nasty things.  Groups began to form, many of which who tried to re-establish order but many who wanted to keep things torn down.Eighteen-year-old Dean Winchester is one of those who hope to see their people survive or flourish, by whatever means possible.  When he finally gets his first mission he takes it eagerly, not knowing what to expect or who he might meet in the Wasteland that used to be Boston.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a long, slow burn love story between Dean and Castiel based in the Fallout 4 verse. It was a brainchild of mind that swlfangirl graciously helped me out with. It's a beast but is finished, just not sure how many chapters this will end up having.
> 
> Any tags that I have forgotten in the beginning will be added and mentioned in each chapter if need be!
> 
> Happy Reading and please, let us know what you think!

* * *

 

Bobby Singer stepped out of his house with a deep sigh.  They were running low on several provisions and he needed a team to make the trek to The Castle, headquarters for the Minutemen all over the Commonwealth.  He had an idea of who he wanted to send but there was one person who was more than likely going to stand in his way. Said person was knee deep in Brahmin manure, trying to get their next batch of fertilizer underway.  They had a new square tilled out for some more mutfruit that they found on their last scavenging mission. The damn fruit tasted like a bloatfly but the trees produced so much of it they would be well fed during the winter.  

 

He glanced up at the sky, praying that their string of good weather would hold.  That was another thing they were running short of. Stimpaks they had by the crateload but Radaway was growing harder and harder to find.  One team was definitely going to have to stop in Diamond City and hell, he himself was gonna be visiting Mayor Hancock over at Good Neighbor.  Maybe he could finally score the man’s supplier’s name.

 

Mary glanced up the second his feet hit the dirt and he cringed at her narrowed stare, “Just me bird,” Bobby chuckled holding up his hands.  

 

“Mmhmm, what do you want Singer?” she demanded, scooping up some of the manure to drop into the wheelbarrow.  Bobby fought the urge to gag and took a step back.

 

“Where’s that kid of yours?” Bobby asked glancing around the settlement.  It was still early in the morning but the Winchester boys were always up with the sun, just like their mother.

 

“Sam’s working with the terminals and Dean’s doing his rounds,” Mary answered, shovel sinking back in before those steely blue eyes met his again, “Why?”

 

Bobby shifted on his feet.  He was a grown ass man and should not be frightened of Mary Winchester but he’d seen her take down over a dozen ferals first hand, while he was pinned down by two.  Yeah, he had every right to shrivel under that stare of hers.

 

“Dean’s of age now Mary-”

 

“Bobby, you know damn well how I feel about him going on a mission!” Mary barked out, raising up to her feet. Bobby held out his hands and swallowed.

 

“You really wanna keep him cooped up here?  He’s been begging me to go out and you know as well as I do, if I don’t let him, he’ll go out there on his own.  And will end up do something stupid,” Bobby said quickly. Mary rolled her eyes, head tilting up with a groan.

 

“I swear...Bobby if anything happens-if those...fucking Gunners find him-” Mary stammered, hands clenched into tight fists.

 

“The Gunners that John ran with are dead Mary.  We took them out, you know that” Bobby said softly.  He hated bringing up all that trouble again. John Winchester had been a classic piece of shit.  Running with the wrong sorts of people for money, trying to brainwash his kids at a very early age that the only things that mattered were the caps that flowed in after a successful hit.  Bobby hadn’t known what to make of the woman when she first stumbled to their gates but, Ellen vouched for her. What no one expected was the hoard of Gunners surrounding their settlement the very next morning.  

 

At first, they talked, John trying fruitlessly to persuade Mary to come back to him with the boys.  When it was clear that she didn’t want to, Bobby stepped in. He wasn’t scared of these self-righteous douchebags.  They were fucking raiders but better dressed and more organized. That was all. John tried to attack the walls of Sanctuary twice. On the second try, Bobby sent up the blue flare, signaling their allies to rain down their fury.  Soon the ground surrounding them was lit up with bombs and canons in every direction.

 

That was the last of John Winchester and his crew.  They buried John under a tree at Mary’s request and burned the rest of the bodies.

 

“Yes, I’m very well aware of that Bobby, but you and I both know that there are more.  There will always be more of them...I just-” Mary took in a deep breath and blew it out in a rush, “If he wants to go then I can’t stand in his way.  As you said, he’s of age now, but mark my words Bobby, anything happens to him and I will fry your balls,” she growled before going back to her work.

 

Bobby swallowed hard, nodding a bit as he turned on his heel.  If his hand touched at his privates protectively just imagining that scenario, only he knew about it.

 

He found Dean where Mary had said, walking around the high wood and metal walls, testing for any weak patches.  It was something the older Winchester boy did nearly every day, “Hey kiddo,” Bobby called out, arms crossing over his chest.

 

“Hey, Bobby. Everythin’ looks good but we might need another patrol to cover the shoreline down by the dock. We’ve seen a jump in those big ass bloat flies lately and I wouldn’t want anyone gettin’ stung,” Dean said, pressing a hand against the wrought iron panels nailed to the back of the wood-paneled border around the settlement.

 

Bobby grunted in response, making a mental note to send out a few of the perimeter guards along the outside of the walls before the sun went down.

 

“I got something to ask ya that’s a bit more above your usual pay grade of checking the walls,” Bobby grinned.

 

“Sure Bobby, anything you need, you know that,” Dean said, concern growing in his stomach. He didn’t like the nervous look to Bobby’s face or the way he seemed like it was the last place he wanted to be.

 

Something was wrong.

 

“I’ve got several teams going out, starting tomorrow.  Some to Diamond City, some to Bunker Hill and I’ll be heading out to Goodneighbor myself.  I need someone to reconnect with The Castle, pick up supplies and the like. I know it’s far, much farther than you’ve ever been but I think you can handle something like this.  Whaddya say?” Bobby asked.

 

A slow grin pulled at Dean’s lips and he felt a thrum of energy building inside him. He’d been waiting for the chance to head out, to get a mission of his own, but he never thought Bobby would actually give him one. The old man was a little soft when it came to him and Sammy.

 

It could be his chance though, his chance to prove he was worth something.

 

“Yeah, hell yes. When?”

 

“Tomorrow at first light.  You need to take someone with you and not your brother.  I have other plans for him,” Bobby said, rubbing at his chin, “We’ll go over supplies tonight after supper.  You can let me know who you’re taking with you then too,” he reached out and squeezed Dean’s shoulder, “You’re gonna do good kid, I have faith in ya.”

 

“Thanks, Bobby. We’ll be ready.”

 

Dean rushed through the rest of his patrol, not in a way that would put anyone in danger but he just moved a little faster than he normally would between the stops. He was eager to finish out his shift and head over to where Benny was staying.

 

There were other guys, hell maybe even ones more qualified, though Dean would never admit it. It was just that Benny was his best friend and he trusted the guy to have his back, no matter what came at them. He’d heard stories of guys getting scared out of their livin’ minds outside the compound, might even happen to them. But unlike the others, Dean knew Benny would never desert him out there and he’d never leave Benny.

 

He finally made it to the small house out by the river that ran along Sanctuary Hills. It wasn’t in perfect condition, no houses really were any more, but it was sturdy and warm, and there were half a dozen beds on the top floor.

 

“Yo’ Benny, get your ass up man.”

 

Benny grunted, sitting up slowly.  He’d had a late patrol last night and getting any kind of sleep while the sun glared through the boards of the house, was hard to come by, “Whatchu want asshat?” Benny groused, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as Dean climbed up the rickety steps.

 

Dean waited until he was fully upstairs to let his smile show. “It happened, Ben. We’re finally being sent on a mission. Head out first thing tomorrow for The Castle,” he said, pulling his best friend into a sleepy side hug. “I can’t believe we’re actually getting out of here, man.”

 

Benny blinked a few times before a huge smile broke out onto his face, “For real?  That’s fuckin awesome man. We need to hit up the range then, get some practice shots.  I think Sammy fixed up those modded up rifles they found a few weeks back,” Benny said. He got up from his cot and went to the shared container for his clothes.  The house had himself and two others for now until they found more settlers. He was hoping to get his own house though it was unlikely, he wouldn’t be starting a family anytime soon and supplies were limited.

 

“Yeah, we can do that before dinner. Bobby said I could pick who came with me and you were the prettiest candidate,” Dean teased, making a kissy face at him as he patted his cheek. “Seriously though, he said we could go over the details and stuff after we eat tonight.”

 

Benny pushed at Dean’s face and laughed, “Sounds good Dean.  C’mon, you can help me with the water generators, they’re making all kinds of noises that don’t sound good,” he said with a yawn.  He’d get some sleep after supper but for now there was work to be done around the settlement.

 

* * *

 

Mary glanced over at her boys with a smile.  They were all huddled together, talking excitedly over the new mission Bobby had given Dean.  She still had a nervous twist in her stomach but Bobby was right. She couldn’t keep him within these walls forever.

 

“Hey boys,” She said stepping over to them.  Sam, Dean, Benny, and Victor all raised their heads, each of them grinning like children.  It made her chuckle.

 

“Hey,” Dean said. He wasn’t quite sure what else to say, knew she’d have a problem with him going but he also knew that she’d have to deal with it. Even if he hadn’t wanted to do a mission so badly, he was of age now and for the compound, the community, they needed every able-bodied member out scouting for supplies and bringing settlers back to improve the camp. He couldn’t apologize, not and mean it anyway, so instead he stayed silent.

 

“Dean, can we talk for a second please?” she asked, getting a quick nod in response.  She felt a little guilty for taking him from his friends but Mary had a few things to get off her chest.  They moved away from everyone to not be disturbed and she grabbed up Dean’s hands.

 

“I know how much you want this and I don’t have any more excuses to you hold you back,” she said with a little smile, “But you have to promise me that you won’t do anything reckless,” she said softly.

 

“Mom, I don’t have a death wish. I just wanna be out there. I wanna make a difference, I wanna help the family. We’re doing okay but we could be better and I want to have some kind of hand in that, just like Sammy does,” Dean said. He’d tried to understand where she was coming from, and to a point he did. If he ever found someone that he could start a family with or make a family with, he wouldn’t want his kids going out into the dangerous world they lived in either. But the truth remained that he was old enough to stand on his own feet and start doing things his own way.

 

“This...this is my way.”

 

Mary touched the side of his face and sighed, “I know sweetheart, I know.  I can’t help being scared, you’ll always be my baby. I’m so proud of you Dean, I hope you know that.”

 

Dean pulled her into a hug and held tightly as he fought off the emotions that would lead to tears. He would miss her, Sammy too, but he needed to see what was out there, beyond the border patrols they’d set up. He had an itch under his skin that had been botherin’ him since he was a little kid. “I know, mom. I’m proud of you too, wasn’t easy doin’ what you did, nor raisin’ us all on your own the last few years. Thank you, for...for everything.”

 

“The two of you made everything worth it,” Mary said wiping at her eye quickly, not wanting to embarrass her son or make a mess of herself.  She did lean up to press a kiss to Dean’s cheek, “Make sure to come say goodbye before you take off in the morning,” she said with a firm tone.

 

“Of course, for Sammy too.”

 

Dean headed back over to the small huddle as soon as he pushed back the tears that were threatening to fall. It didn’t take long thankfully, and he was back to chuckling along with the group of dorks he called friends, the people he loved most in the world.

 

Bobby waited the appropriate amount of time between when everyone finished their suppers and the next patrol would start for the late night shift.

 

“Alright everyone, listen up,” Bobby called out.  When it quieted down he cleared his throat, “Tomorrow is the beginning of scavenging week.  Those of you who are hitting the Commonwealth primarily for supplies, Ellen will have lists of what’s most important for you.  We’re doing well on food and water, do not waste your time on that unless you and your team need it. The others who are going to be hitting Diamond City and Bunker Hill.  The main goal is stock up on as much RadAway and Rad-X. If they got extra Stimpaks go ahead and grab ‘em but they are not a priority. If I find that caps were exchanged for any kind of chems, you will be exiled from not only Sanctuary Hills but anyone else we are allied with.  We will not allow for that shit to happen again. I myself will be heading out to Goodneighbor and a smaller group will be going to The Castle. If there is anything you believe is important enough to add to any of these group lists, please see me or Ellen,” Bobby said and waved his hand to dismiss everyone.

 

“Guess we’re up, Sammy those rifles up and runnin?” Benny asked anxiously biting at his thumbnail.

 

“Yes...and no.  I’m fairly confident that they’ll shoot just...probably not where you want them to.  I’m sorry Benny, I know you wanted to try them out,” Sam said with a frown. A hand squeezed his shoulder and he sighed.

 

“Don’t you fret none kid.  I know you’ll get them worked out, after Dean-o and I speak with Bobby, why don’t you show us what you got cooked up and ready to go,” Benny suggested.  He couldn’t help grinning at how the kid lit up and grinned like a maniac.

 

“See ya in a few Sammy,” Dean said, scrubbing at the kid’s long hair until he squawked and shoved him away.

 

Dean waited until his surrogate uncle wasn’t surrounded by a small circle of people to finally push through and say something. “Hey, Bobby. I know this is probably gonna come as a big surprise, but Benny’s heading out with me in the mornin’.”

 

Bobby grunted a little, “Not at all.  No one better I’d have at your back Dean.  I saw your last practice shoot Benny, you’re getting damn good at long range,” he said.

 

Benny flushed a little but nodded, “Always did love sniping.  My hand to hand needs some work but-”

 

“None of that now.  All I care about is you protectin each other out there, you hear me?” Bobby said with a raised brow.  Benny nodded quickly followed by an almost if not more eager nod from Dean.

 

“Alright then, you know where you’re headin.  Sam’s got some fun toys for you two to look at and by the looks of him is about to wet himself with excitement,” Bobby chuckled, “While at The Castle, show Rufus this list.  He’ll get you back on the road with what we need,” he said handing Dean a faded piece of paper.

 

“Anything else while we’re out there? You want us to keep an eye out for anything?” Dean asked, feeling a little nervous but more excited than anything. He felt as if he’d been waiting his whole life for an opportunity like what Bobby was giving him.

 

“Just the stuff on the list kid,” Bobby said, “Now go on.  After you visit with Sam get to bed. You’re gonna need your rest.”

 

“Will do, and I’ll drop by before we head out tomorrow.”

 

Dean nodded toward Bobby and Benny followed as he walked toward the main house.  It was where Bobby resided but the entire downstairs of the place was their headquarters.  One of the rooms had been converted into a giant workshop. He could see Sam on the porch, his little brother practically bouncing up and down on his toes the closer they got. Kid was weird as hell sometimes, but Dean loved him more than anything or anyone. “We’re comin’, Samantha. Don’t get your panties in a wad.”

 

“Shut up.  Bobby gave me the task of fixing up several things for this run a week ago and I finally got them working.  C’mon,” he said leading the two of them through the house to the workshop. It was a mess but it was _his_ organized mess, “Don’t touch that,” he barked when Benny tried to tap at something with his finger.  The older boy looked sheepish and quickly moved away.

 

“So get this, on the last scavenge trip this was found,” Sam said holding up a battered looking Pip-Boy.  Only vault dwellers had access to them and were so rare Sam had nearly peed his pants when it was handed to him to fix.  Bobby had said it was for a specific person but never told Sam exactly who it was for until yesterday.

 

“It’s for you Dean,” he said with a huge grin.

 

“No way,” Dean said, the grin on his face grew wider as his shock slowly started to melt away. It had been years since he’d seen a Pip Boy, probably since before they came to Sanctuary Hills.  And those ones had never even powered on. “This is...this is friggin’ awesome!”

 

Sam smiled wide and nodded, “Try it on.”  He waited for Dean to slip his wrist through it and Sam helped him tighten the strap just right.

 

“Awesome.  I also have some new weapons for you two to take.  Benny, these two are for you,” Sam said pointing to not only a high powered laser sniper rifle but a shotgun with an added night vision spec.  Benny whistled low as he picked up the sniper rifle first, testing the weight.

 

“Damn kid, you’ve been busy,” Benny laughed.

 

Sam nodded and pointed to two other guns, “Dean, these are for you,” he said.

 

“This one’s a bit light-oh, needs ammo...you’ve got some right?” Dean asked, but Sam was already handing over some rounds. “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

 

Dean took apart his new weapons, careful as he could be, he needed to know how they worked. It was his way of getting to know them, so to speak, and something he did with every weapon he handled. Even if it was only a short trip to the range.

 

“Damn, Sammy...these are amazing, kid.”

 

Sam flushed, not even minding that Dean had called him Sammy...again, “Thanks. I had to make sure my big brother had the best.  Bobby’s been hinting at this for a while now so I’ve been making sure to keep the best pieces for myself,” he explained.

 

Benny grinned, “You got one hell of a kid brother there Dean-o.”

 

“Don't I know it,” he said, pulling Sam in for a hug despite his protests.

 

“Thanks, Sam. I mean it. Thanks for havin’ our backs,” he said quietly as he squeezed his brother a little tighter. Eventually, he pulled away and rubbed at Sam’s head again, causing him to fuss. “I’m gonna miss you, bitch.”

 

“Ugh, I’ll miss you too jerk.  Here,” Sam said, handing them a more standard version of the guns he had modified, “Practice with these.  They won’t have the same kickback but it’s close enough. Good luck and bring my brother back in one piece,” Sam warned.

 

“Yes sir,” Benny said with a nod, grabbing up his weapons and heading outside.

 

“Let’s go shoot the hell out of somethin’,” Dean said to Benny with a wide grin. He felt as if he was finally doing something he gave a shit about. He took pride in his responsibilities around the compound, always had, but this was different. It wasn’t just fixing a rotten board or reassembling the metal backside of the back wall, but with something like this he could make a real difference.

 

Not to mention he’d finally be able to get out, to be free, maybe have a little fun for once.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

 

 

Benny woke the next morning with the sun just peeking out over the horizon.  The haze clinging to the chilly air had the hair on the back of his neck rise as he slowly sat up.  Clouds were never a good sign. They could easily lead to a normal rain shower if they were lucky but if they weren’t...they’d be in store for a radiation storm.  The skies going a yellowish green and the nausea following always brought one down to their knees. One of the many reasons why they were running so low on Rad-Away and Rad-x.  The damn storms the month previous lasted so long they were scraping the barrels. And while they had someone who could create ammo and another to make a watered down version of stimpaks...they still had yet to find someone for radiation medicine.  

 

According to Bobby though, Hancock in Goodneighbor had his hands on a treasure trove of it and was being very tight-lipped on who his supplier was.  Benny hoped that the old man could get the ghoul to talk this time. If they ran into another set of storms they were going to lose people. Benny sighed and stepped over to his container.  His roommates slept soundly, only turning a few times as Benny moved around to get ready. His clothes were thin enough to not feel too constricting under the armor that he’d have to put on over it.  

 

The last thing he had to grab was his pack which was all ready to go and waiting for him downstairs.  He tried to be quiet but the stairs always creaked as he climbed down them. There was a whispered good luck and he smiled, waving his hand in thanks to his sleepy roommate.

 

Outside, the settlement was bustling.  The caravans were already in the market area for the weekly trade, including that bitch Trashcan Carla.  Benny couldn’t help sneering at her. Why they continued to trade with her Benny had no clue. Maybe it’s because she was the oldest provisioner of them all and was tough as nails? All Benny associated her with was the time she jacked their one and only power armor suit and fucking lost it in a god damn lake.  Claiming that she had tried to lure the raiders away and got stuck in the mud but conveniently couldn’t remember exactly _where_ she lost the armor.

 

Bitch.

 

Ellen was the only one who dealt with her, letting her nowhere near Sam’s workshop or their supply rooms.  Benny raised his hand in greeting to Ellen and made his way to the mess hall where he knew Dean would be. His best friend was sitting at a table with his mother and Sam, tucked in with a plate piled high with food.  Once he got close enough, a plate was pushed into his hands and he smiled at Mary.

 

“Tuck in kiddo,” she said and gently pushed him towards the table.

 

“Mornin,” he said, sitting down across from Dean, Mary quickly joining them.  His leg “accidentally” kicked Sam as he sat down.

 

“Mornin’,” Dean said, the enthusiasm evident in his voice.

 

When his mom turned to raise an eyebrow at him, he ducked his head. “Sorry.”

 

He knew she was sad, that Sam was too and he was going to miss them both a lot, but neither that or the storm brewing would take away the excitement he felt for the first time in what seemed like forever.

 

“It’s alright Dean.  You can’t help that I and your brother are worry warts,” Mary smiled reaching over to run her fingers through Dean’s hair a few times, knowing she was pushing her luck a bit.

 

Benny smiled at them, the familiar ache pulling in his chest at their affection towards the other.  He’d lost his whole family in a raider attack. Even his baby sister had been taken from him. Probably why he felt so close to Dean and his family.  They took him in and Mary had practically raised him the last several years.

 

“Eat up sweetheart, I’m gonna make sure that your food packs are to my standards,” Mary said first to Benny and then both of them.

 

Dean nodded and tore into his food with gusto. He wasn’t trying to rush it, well maybe a little bit, but he wasn’t really looking forward to saying goodbye to everyone, no matter how badly he wanted to leave. He earned himself a snort from Sam but was relieved when his brother didn’t make any comments on his behavior.

 

Benny ate a bit more slowly, wanting to savor the fact that they had almost double the rations that they normally got.  Including Brahmin sausage. It was a rarity and only given to those going out beyond the walls. And he had four of them on his plate.  He was sad when he swallowed the last bit of it but hopefully, it wouldn’t be the last. If all went well of course.

 

Mary came over with the food packs, only having to argue with the cooks for a few things.  The head cook had merely rolled her eyes and complied with her request. Mary knew she was being ridiculous but she did not want her boys have to result to hunting in those woods, not with those monstrous Yao Guias out there.  

 

“Here you go, now make sure before you leave to get suited up.  Bobby’s in the armory already and he can help you pick the right ones,” Mary said with a heavy sigh.

 

Benny got up and leaned over to kiss Mary on the cheek, “Thanks Ma,” he smiled, taking his dishes over to the bin.

 

“Thanks mom,” Dean copied, kissing at her other cheek. “We’ll be back before you know it, don’t drive Sammy crazy with too much worryin’ okay?”

 

She managed, somehow, to get both him and Benny pulled in for an awkward group hug. Dean just laughed and grabbed at Sam who was standing off to his left and pulled him in as well. Eventually, he pulled back and coughed into his hand to get rid of the gruff emotion in his voice. “We’ll see you soon.”

 

Benny waved, giving her a warm smile before grabbing Dean by his sleeve to tug him away.  Bobby was in the armory as Mary had said he would be. He instantly went to the right where the bulkier of their armor would be.  They were the only ones that would fit his larger frame.

 

“About time boys,” Bobby grumbled, shaking his head.  He knew it would take a while for Mary to pry her fingers off of Dean and Benny.  The woman was overprotective but had every right to be. With everything that Mary had gone through to get her boys safe...to just send them right out into the Wasteland.  Bobby shook his head of those thoughts, they were still on schedule and that’s all that mattered.

 

“Dean-o, this one over here is for you,” Bobby said pointing to the heavy leather gauntlets, the thick trench coat, and the iron breastplate, “May not look like much but it’ll protect you, even from bullet sprays.  Just...try not to get shot at point blank.”

 

“Will do, you don’t expect a lot of trouble out there do you, Bobby? I mean most of the people out there wandering around are settlers and provisioners...right?” Dean asked, a little confused. Sure they heard about some groups that were bad seeds, people like his father were a little batshit crazy but if there was more out there, he wanted to be informed.

 

Bobby shared a look with another older Minuteman and sighed heavily, “Look kid, I ain’t gonna sugar coat it.  The Commonwealth isn’t kind. One minute you’re enjoying the quiet the next you’re fighting raiders or a god damn bloodbug with its bloatfly minions,” Bobby grunted, the others in the room nodded their heads with their own grunts.

 

“It’s dangerous and you gotta be on your toes the entire time.  There are settlers out there, who you can try to recruit if they’re willing, others you’ll find could be provisioners.  That’s why you need backup and stick to the roads the best you can.”

 

“Yessir,” Dean said, though he was suddenly just slightly less eager to hit the road. He wasn’t scared exactly, but he had a feeling that what they’d heard about the outside his whole life might not be the whole truth.

 

He and Benny gathered their gear, put on their armor and were set to leave before finally taking one last stroll through the compound along with the other groups that were leaving. Most people minded their own business, though a few who didn’t have chores stopped to wave goodbye, wish them luck, etcetera.

 

All in all, not a bad send off.

 

Now, onto their adventure. New places, new people, new _everything._ Dean couldn’t wait.

* * *

 

The first day and night went okay, though sleeping on the ground inside a small shelter that looked as if it could blow away any minute, wasn’t his idea of comfort. Dean knew the settlement had made him a little soft, his dad used to talk about things like that, made it a reason for taking the bed himself and putting Dean to sleep on the floor when their mom wasn’t with them. He hadn’t minded back then, wanted to be just like his dad.

 

At least until he realized his dad was a giant dick.

 

Still, he and Benny hadn’t run into much trouble except for the occasional small group of bloat flies, and he was grateful for it. As exciting as it was to be out on a mission, Dean had no desire whatsoever for his best friend to have to pull him back to camp in a tarp.

 

He took a couple small sips of purified water from the small canteen they shared and passed it over to Benny.

 

“We’re makin’ good time, the Pip-Boy says it’s only a few more hours left til we get there, maybe a day if we don’t get stopped along the way,” he said, letting out a small sigh.

 

Benny nodded absentmindedly.  Things were quiet, almost too quiet.  In the distance, if you listened hard enough the sounds of gunshots echoed through the trees but other than that, there was nothing.  It was eery and made his stomach twist painfully. Something didn’t feel right. He looked around again, ignoring Dean’s chatter as he brought his rifle out, cocking the gun as he moved a little closer to Dean.  

 

“Dean shu-” Benny didn’t get to finish his sentence.  There was a loud resounding boom about fifteen feet ahead of them and Benny tackled Dean to the ground, both of them scrambling to hide behind a rusted old car.

 

“What the fuck,” Benny gasped peeking around the corner of it.

 

Dean didn’t have the best vantage point, but he used the scope of Benny’s rifle to see a little better across the long distance. He watched as a figure in a long, black leather trench coat get knocked hard on their ass only to pop right back up and start shooting. The movements themselves were impressive, not to mention graceful. He’d never seen anyone move that way, with purpose and without fear it seemed.

 

“Fuck me,” he whispered to himself, though he was sure Benny heard him being only a few inches away.

 

Castiel dove over the next car and scrambled up in the next second, his heart racing in his chest as he shot over the hood of the vehicle.  These damn raiders were not letting up, not even an inch. Castiel cursed at himself and then threw a rock at his best friend and companion MacCready.  The man flipped him off and started shooting again with his sniper.

 

“Don’t you give me that fucking finger asshole, it was your fault they heard us!” Castiel shouted, wanting to throw another rock at him but had to duck when a rain of gunfire pelted at them, “Son of a Motherdick!” Castiel growled, switching out his mag for a full one.  His stomach churning when he realized they were beginning to run low on ammo.

 

“Cready!  We gotta-”

 

“Who the fuck is that!” MacCready shouted, pointing at something behind him.  Castiel frowned, whipping his head around to find two guys their age literally running into the fray and shooting their weapons.  

 

“Oh what the helllll,” Castiel groaned.  They didn’t look like raiders, they were too clean.  They had to be settlers, probably lost or something. Castiel cursed again and rose up to cover them so the two morons could make it to their cover.

 

Benny shoved at Dean’s lower back to get him behind the car faster and joined the other two in shooting up the band of raiders moving in, “Howdy!” Benny said with a laugh

 

“I’ll go after that one, get your scope out and take care of the others before they get me, we good?” Dean asked, heart pounding hard in his chest, but he was ready.

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!” Castiel shouted, this idiot couldn’t be serious.  Did he seriously want to go hand in hand with these pricks? Castiel shook his head and shot two more down.  There was only a handful left.

 

It was hard to focus on the fight when Dean heard that rough growl of a voice, it was impressive, even compared to Benny’s low baritone. Still, with his best friend at his back fighting came easy, whether it was shooting or hand to hand.

 

Thankfully they still had nearly all their ammo and impeccable aim.

 

Benny rolled his eyes at the new kid and nodded at Dean, “I got you brother,” Benny said, situating himself on the hood to take out the ones who looked as if they were putting something together.

 

“We got grenades moving in!” MacCready shouted, taking aim as well.

 

“Better work fast,” Dean said with a grin, knowing Benny would take care of him as he moved closer, gun strapped to his thigh, knife in hand. He snuck around the junked out cars, hunkering down behind some faded red thing, before jumping out behind one of the raiders and digging his knife in deep in the slit between their armor.

 

Once that one was taken care of, Dean crouched down, pushing himself closer to the group. Benny and the strangers were taking care of a cluster on the side that were handling explosives, but there were still a couple laying down fire and Dean needed to put them out of commission before someone got hurt.

 

There was a long black piece of metal ahead, that had surely seen better days, but it called to him and Dean moved closer. He’d barely crawled behind the thing before something opened fire on him and gunshots were ringing in his ears.

 

“Tell your idiot friend to stay down!” Castiel shouted, taking out the one who moved way too close to the stranger.  The bigger one grumbled something and took out one of the ones readying themselves to start throwing grenades.

 

“Shit!  Move out!” MacCready yelled, diving out from behind the car to take cover somewhere else.  Two grenades had landed close to them and Castiel shoved at the man beside him until they were diving over a broken stone wall.

 

“Thank me later,” Castiel growled, jumping back up.  His gun clicked and he cursed, swinging it behind him as he took out the long knife he had in a sheath strapped to his thigh.

 

“Cready!” Castiel yelled.  He didn’t need to hear his friend’s acknowledgment, he charged forward, tackling one of the last standing raiders.

 

Once the fire raining overhead slowed, Dean slumped to the ground and unstrapped the gun on his thigh. He slid beneath the bent, misshapen metal and allowed the undercarriage to protect him while he got into position. Deep-voice trenchcoat guy was pinned to the ground by one of the beefier raiders and Dean carefully lined up his shot.

 

The bullet whistled through the air just as the man moved, Dean went pale at the thought that the guy was going to lean forward into the shot but the strong raider on top of him, pushed back harder and slammed him back to the ground just in time for the bullet to sink into their skull.

 

Castiel gasped as the guy slumped heavily on top of him.  It took much longer than he liked to realize there was blood oozing out of the raider’s temple.  He managed to push the heavy weight off of him just as the last few shots were fired. Then it was quiet again.  Castiel slumped to the ground with a weary grunt.

 

MacCready got to his feet and leaned back, stretching out the bunched up muscles in his back, “Whew, now that was what I call exciting,” MacCready laughed, his eyes beginning to tear up when Castiel flipped him off again from where he was laying.  He almost forgot about the strangers when the smaller one crawled out from under the frame of what used to be a car.

 

“Well uh, thanks I guess,” MacCready said.

 

Castiel sat up and frowned, “What are you two doing out here anyway?” he asked getting to his feet and walking over.

 

“Supply run, headed for The Castle, you?” Dean asked, brushing the dirt off of his pants as best as he could before holding his hand out.

 

Castiel frowned even deeper, “The Castle?  You know the Minutemen are there right? Why would you be doing a supply run to them?” he asked glaring at the hand extended to him.  MacCready moved closer to him and knew his finger was on the trigger just waiting for his signal.

 

Before Dean could answer Benny gripped his shoulder, “We live in a settlement looking to trade with them, that’s all,” he said.

 

“Yeah, right...and I suppose that you’ve got a hoard of caps you’re just eager to pass onto strangers too,” MacCready said, the disbelief and sarcasm obvious in his voice.

 

“Hey buddy, we didn’t mean no harm. Saw you were in a tight spot and wanted to help, that’s all.” Dean said, pulling his hand away unshaken despite the low swoop it made in his gut. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed by the interaction, but if the guy didn’t wanna be friends, then so be it. “I guess we’ll just be on our way then.”

 

Castiel followed them with narrowed eyes, “If you’re asking The Minutemen for aid, be careful.  They’ll leave you high and dry,” he barked out.

 

Dean stopped, tempted to turn and say something in their defense, but instead, he just kept moving. Benny was right, it was best not to draw attention to themselves if the guy was that bitter toward their kind. He didn’t like the feeling it gave him but leaving made sense, so that’s what they did.

 

It would be fine, all they had to do was keep their heads down and finish out the mission.

 

“You’re fucking welcome,” Dean hissed under his breath once they were out of earshot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to follow me on Tumblr at @bugandkitlove for behind the scenes information for this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel grumbled under his breath, something was off about those two.  Why the hell would anyone be going to the Castle for no other reason but to align themselves with those... _ Bastards. _  Castiel gritted his teeth.  He wasn’t aware of how tense he was until a warm hand gripped his shoulder.

 

“What?” He snapped, instantly feeling guilty with the pointed look he got from MacCready.

 

“Nothin’ nothin, just wanted to offer you a drink before you choke on that steam rolling off of you,” MacCready said, shaking his head. He’d seen Castiel get worked up over the Minutemen before, it wasn’t news, but this was something else entirely. 

 

Castiel nodded, taking up the canteen of water, “Sorry,” he sighed taking a sip and handing it back, “We need to get back on track or we’re not gonna get to Jamaica Plains by nightfall,” he said glancing up at the sky.  There were clouds rolling in and by the smell of the air it was going to be bad, “Shit.”

 

“We’ll need to find cover, boss,” MacCready said, taking a look up at the sky even though he already knew what he’d see there. He didn’t care much for thunderstorms when they wouldn’t practically melt your skin off if you got trapped in one, but this spelled trouble, and soon. 

 

“Yeah,” Castiel sighed, running a hand down his face.  They weren’t anywhere near any of their allied settlements and the only cleared building they had was still a good twenty minutes away, “We gotta get to our safe house, that electrical store.  How much ammo you got?” he asked.

 

“I’m good, just hope we don’t run into another group that size, or larger than two,” he said, a cocky grin on his face. He had a few rounds left, though not many. It would be enough to protect them, it always was.

 

Castiel cracked a lopsided grin and nodded, leading the way through the dead grass.  The sound of thunder rolled across the ground, settling the hairs on his neck on end.  The coppery smell of radiation was moving in closer and he grabbed at MacCready’s sleeve to pull him faster, “This isn’t gonna be tame one,” he growled, glancing up for a split second before starting up in a run.

 

“Of course it’s not, that would mean we could take it easy,” he said, rushing forward to match Castiel’s pace. There was a loud crackle in the air and they both moved faster. Thankfully their packs were light, though having some more rations wouldn’t have hurt either of them, but he needed to focus on the most important thing first and that was finding shelter to survive the storm. “Let’s just hope it passes quickly.” 

 

Castiel didn’t reply.  He caught sight of the electrical store and sped up.  Thankfully the terminal powered on pretty quick and typed in the password they had for all of their safe houses.  It opened with a creak and he sighed with relief. They did a quick sweep of the building, only finding a few rad roaches that gave them little trouble.  Castiel opened the container that held some food and pulled out a few mutfruits to throw one at MacCready, “Knowing our luck lately, we’ll have to sleep here,” he grumbled.

 

“Yeah, probably...but you didn’t have to bring it up right away,” MacCready said, with a small shake of his head. He wasn’t usually the glass half full kinda guy but Castiel made even his pessimism feel bleak. 

 

“At least we found shel- what the hell?” he said, watching two figures move closer in the distance.

 

“We got company, boss...looks like the guys from before. Whaddya you want to do?”

 

Castiel almost told him to ignore the idiots, let them find their own shelter when a loud crash shook the ground.  This storm was picking up and the two outside were going to get lost in all that radiation. Castiel growled under his breath and ran over to the door, yanking it open, “In here!” he shouted.

 

Benny jerked to a stop when he heard something that wasn’t thunder or the howling wind.  He glanced around and someone in the distance waving their arms. It was that guy from earlier.  Benny grabbed at Dean’s pack, pulling him in that direction, “C’mon we gotta get out of this storm!” Benny yelled.

 

Dean followed eagerly, anything to keep his skin on his bones sounded great to him. They’d found a small shelter on the path earlier but the wind had picked up and they both knew it wasn’t going to hold. So, they braved the crackle and thick smell of radiation in hopes of finding somewhere that would outlast the wind and showers. 

 

There was something gnawing in his stomach at the put out look from Deep-voiced trenchcoat guy threw his way but whatever the asshole had against him couldn’t be worse than melting his skin off, right?

 

His chest was heaving in and out by the time they got inside but Benny was quick to get him fixed up again. He gave his best friend a look that was fond and fought off the urge to roll his eyes at the momma bear treatment. When he turned left, it was to a pair of deep blue eyes that seemed to stare into his soul. Shaking off the weird feeling, he tried for a small, grateful smile. 

 

“Thanks man, sorry to uh, encroach or whatever but the shack we found about a mile out, to the east, it just wasn’t going to hold so we had to keep looking,” he said, swallowing a bit harder than usual. 

 

Castiel swallowed down the bitterness in his mouth and nodded, “Thank MacCready, he spotted you two out there,” he said going into the cabinet to grab two more mut fruits.  It was his olive branch and the only way he knew how to apologize. There was a scoff next to him and fought the urge to kick his companion.

 

“Well, either way, thanks...to whoever,” Dean said, feeling more than a little awkward. He wasn’t about to hold his hand out in offering again but with both his and Benny’s ass on the line, Dean needed to play nice. 

 

Dean shrugged off his armor and pulled the chest plate over his head sitting it down by the door as a sign of trust, though he was also pretty eager to hide the small emblem on his jacket. If the guy had a problem with The Minutemen, it wouldn’t do anyone any good for him to find out that’s exactly what he was. 

 

“No problem,” MacCready said, offering a seat to both of their  _ apparent _ guests. “Names?” 

 

“I’m Dean, the big guy over here is Benny, you go by MacCready?” 

 

“Or asshole, whichever he’s feeling that day,” Castiel snickered, dodging something that his companion threw at him, “I’m Castiel,” he said with something he hoped resembled a smile.

 

Benny nodded at them both, taking the offered mutfruit from Castiel.  He hated the taste of it unless it was cooked but unlike these strangers, Benny had manners, “So what did those raiders want?” he asked.

 

Castiel rolled his eyes, “What they always want.  Your head on one of their spikes. We were trying to sneak but big foot over here decided to trip over something and alerted them,” he said jerking his thumb towards MacCready.

 

“Yeah, and I’m sure you tripping over the line of cans had  _ nothing _ to do with it,” MacCready answered, barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

 

“Well, whatever the problem, at least they’re dealt with now. We’ve got some jerky in our bags you’d be welcome to, if you’re runnin’ low on food. It’s the least we could do after you guys letting us stay here til the storm passes,” Dean said, taking a small bite of the fruit. He wasn’t a fan of any kind of fruit, but turning down food from anyone was about the worst insult you could make with such a short supply of shit going around. 

 

“Sure, thanks,” Castiel said, accepting a small portion and handing half of that to MacCready.  It was quiet after that, only the sounds of the howling winds and torrential rainfall giving them any sounds.  Castiel walked over to the window and sighed, this storm was a bad one. He turned back to the others, a small fire had been built to keep out the chill and he hunkered down, dropping onto the floor with a grunt.  He was exhausted but wouldn’t rest until they reached Jamaica Plains. 

 

Dean chewed at his lip, knowing that what he was about to do could turn south quickly, but he had to know. “Look, I don’t-I’m not trying to step on toes or piss anyone off here. We’ve got a good situation worked out for ourselves for the night if that’s how long it takes and I don’t want to put a wrench in that but, if you’re willing to talk about it, I’d be mighty interested in what happened between you and The Minutemen.” 

 

MacCready snorted a dry, ugly sound. Castiel could handle that one, he wasn’t touching it with a ten-foot pole. 

 

Castiel shot a glare over at MacCready then narrowed his eyes at Dean.  Maybe the guy was genuinely curious. More than once MacCready had told him that the chip on his shoulder could be seen for miles.  He took in a deep breath, hugging his knees to his chest.

 

“You ever hear of a place called Sommerville?” Castiel asked, eyes never leaving the fire.  When he got no answer he huffed out a bitter laugh, “Wouldn’t expect you to. It’s been almost ten years since it was decimated,” he said rubbing a hand down his face.  

 

“What happened to it?” Benny asked quietly.  He was keeping watch out the windows but he couldn’t help moving a bit closer to get this kid’s story.

 

“The settlement was fairly large, nearly twenty, not including the kids.  We never thought anyone would come to our aid in the beginning, we were so far out from any of the other settlements.  But in came riding not only the Minutemen but the Brotherhood of Steel. I remember being so amazed by their power suits, almost had a dream of joining their cause when I got older.  They gave us the flare guns and the blue smoke grenades. Promising that if we were ever in trouble, they’d come. That the neighboring settlements would rain down their fury to help protect us.  We had nothing, barely three people even knew how to fire off a weapon. It was very stupid and naive of us to actually believe them,” Castiel spat.

 

Benny shared a look with Dean, both groups had let this poor settlement be attacked with no aid?  What the hell?

 

“You were defenseless….who attacked though?” Dean asked, confused by the information he was getting. Part of him wanted to argue, to stand up and say no, they’d never do that to anyone, much less a full settlement, but it wasn’t just the shelter and companionship that had his lips sealed shut. 

 

“First it was raiders.  The second our bells went off we sent up the flare and the smoke grenade.  No one came. Those of us who managed to escape, we only made it out a few miles before the rest of my...my family were picked off by ferals,” Castiel swallowed down the knot in his throat and roughly rubbed at his eyes.  Even after a decade, he wasn’t over it. Sometimes it was the sounds that got to him most, other times it was the things that he saw.

 

“It was me and three others who were left.  None of the other children made it,” Castiel whispered.

 

“Fuck...how-how old were you?” Benny asked, his stomach twisting painfully.  He had his own demons but to actually have to witness it right in front of you, that was a whole other bracket of nightmares.

 

Castiel met Benny’s eyes and felt the cold shell he used as his inner armor slide over him and smirked when he saw the bigger man actually flinch, “I was twelve.  Somehow, I got us away. Found a place, claimed it for ourselves and I vowed I would never, fall for those kinds of lies again.  _ I _ would protect my people and  _ I  _ would take down any fucking Minuteman I came across.  And once I get my hands on a power suit, the Brotherhood of Steel are going on that list as well.”

 

Dean swallowed, he wasn’t sure what to say to that. He knew there were no words that could come out of his mouth that would help the situation any but still, he wanted to. He longed to try to forge some type of bond with the guy, if nothing else, to just prove that maybe not all Minutemen were dicks. 

 

_ What the hell had happened back then? _

* * *

 

Castiel didn't remember closing his eyes but the next minute he was being shaken awake, his head jerking upright.  MacCready was staring at him and with a flick of his head, Castiel turned to look out the window. It was early morning and the storm had left behind crystal blue skies.  He heaved a sigh of relief and looked back to the other two. Both of them were sleeping and Castiel chewed on his lip. The asshole part of him wanted to leave right then and there but for whatever reason, they were beginning to grow on him.  

 

“Dammit,” he hissed.

 

“Not so thick skinned after all, boss?” MacCready said, a light singsong tone to his voice. He wasn’t sure if it was the pretty green-eyed one in particular, or just the fact that they’d jumped into a fight and maybe, a little bit, saved their asses. Either way, Castiel had a soft spot for their two guests and as long as he didn’t see it turning around and biting them in the ass, MacCready was ready to tease the living hell out of him about it. 

 

“Y’know I could give you some alone time with the smaller one if you want…” 

 

Castiel snorted, “Why so you can have a go at the big one?  I knew you were a bottom at heart,” he snickered as quietly as he could manage.  It was no secret that he and MacCready had slept together on multiple occasions, most of the time it was to make the night go by faster.  Other times it was out of sheer terror and relief that they were both alive. They were best friends and nothing more. Though the people of Nordhagen beach hoped that they would tie the knot eventually, Castiel didn’t see that happening anytime soon or ever.  

 

“Hey, don’t do that now boss, you can’t just look at someone and know their preferences…”MacCready tsked, “For all we know, muscles might enjoy all kinds of different positions.” 

 

“One thing’s for sure though, I’d have a lot of fun finding out.” 

 

There was a snort of laughter next to them and Castiel couldn’t help chuckling at how red MacCready’s face got.

 

“You know, I heard that right?” Benny laughed, rolling over on his bedroll to stare at the other two, “And maybe some other time sweetheart,” he teased giving MacCready a smirk.

 

He was a little warm, his pulse spiked too once the big man was actually looking at him. Still, he’d never let something like a bit of embarrassment stop him. At least he hadn’t got a hard no, right? Though he wasn’t quite sure what the odds are that they’d ever see one another again, he couldn’t help but find himself hoping they were high.

 

“Well the offer still stands, for  _ whenever _ .” 

 

“If you two are done flirting, it’s probably time to hit the road, yeah?” Dean said, a bit of sleep still in his voice. He hadn’t caught everything said but he’d heard Benny loud and clear and the smugly sweet tone was the one he used when he was interested in someone. 

 

Castiel rolled his eyes and got up to his feet.  They cleaned up after themselves and made there way out, Castiel making sure to lock the place back up with the terminal.  He bit his lip and turned towards Dean, “Look, if you find yourselves back this way and need shelter, the password to the terminal is Novak,” he said.

 

“Thanks man, that’s..that’s real nice of you,” Dean said, fighting off the urge to make a similar gesture about Sanctuary Hills, but he just couldn’t, not until he figured out what happened to that poor town. ‘We’ll see you around, stay safe out here.” 

 

“Yeah, that goes for you too, muscles,” MacCready answered with a smirk as wide as the one he’d received earlier, even if his cheeks and neck were a little red from the blush, he wasn’t going to back down. 

 

“Hey uh, where you guys headin?  Or hell, where’s your settlement at?  Maybe, we can meet up later and talk about a trade route between us,” Benny said, grunting as Dean practically punched him in the gut.

 

Castiel shared a look with MacCready, it wouldn’t hurt to tell them.  It wasn’t like they weren’t protected now if these two turned out to be pricks underneath the charm.  His people could fight and if they had to fall back, the turrets would take care of the rest.

 

“We’re going to Jamaica Plains but our settlement is along Nordhagen Beach,” Castiel said.  He watched with wide eyes as Dean lifted up his wrist, the pip-boy he had somehow missed making a bunch of clicking noises.

 

“Well, we appreciate you sharin’ that with us, we better head out,  _ Benny _ .” Dean barked, slinging his pack over his shoulder once he’d strapped his breastplate on tightly. He loved the guy, more than anything, but he was just askin’ for trouble with that bullshit. 

 

MacCready narrowed his eyes, something was off with those two. They felt genuine, sincere for the most part, not like they were itching to stab a knife in your back the second you turned around but they were definitely hiding something. 

 

“Well that wasn’t awkward at all,” he said, turning to Castiel with a head shake as he watched them walk away.

 

“I’ll say.  You flirting horribly with him didn’t feel that awkward,” Castiel teased, watching the two for a moment.  They were definitely heading in the direction of the Castle. It didn't’ matter, they weren’t their problem anymore.  Right? He sighed heavily and turned south, heading in the opposite direction of the other two.


	4. Chapter 4

“You can keep ignoring me all you like, you still have to deal with me,” Benny said tripping Dean’s foot up with a swift kick under his shoe, “It’s not like I told them who we were or even where we’re from. Maybe I wanna see that guy again but I know sure as hell you wanna see that badass Castiel.”

 

“It doesn’t matter, don’t you get that? He hates us. You think he’s gonna give a flying fuck that we weren’t the ones who left his town, his family to die? No, he’s not. He’d rather kill us than look at us if he found out,” Dean said, a low burning rage heavy inside him. It wasn’t directed at Benny, not really, most of it was for whoever the hell it was that told those people they’d be protected and then flaked out on them. Dead men most likely, but it still felt wrong under his skin to know that Castiel hated him on principle, even if he didn’t know it.

 

Benny frowned, shaking his head, “So what do we do? Keep our heads in the sand and keep following out orders and missions? Or are we gonna get to the bottom of this? Cause I for one would like to know what the hell happened,” Benny growled out.

 

Dean looked at Benny, still a little on edge and a lot angry, but he smiled. “Of course we’re going to find out what the hell happened, who do you think you’re dealing with here?”

 

They made the trek for a few more hours, only stopping once when they saw a small shed-like building. It had a sink with clean water still in it so they refilled the canteen and pushed on. Just before their stomachs rumbled for lunch, those pale cement walls came into view.

 

“Looks like we’re here, keep an eye out for anything that feels off.”

 

Benny nodded, his gun out and cocked as they closed in on the damaged walls of The Castle. Nothing jumped out at them, just the sounds of the farmers working the land and guards patrolling. Benny waved his hand in greeting, showing the emblem sewn into his jacket as Dean did the same. They were permitted passage and Benny had no idea what he was expecting but it wasn’t...this.

 

“What the hell?” Dean’s eyes went wide at the sight of the crumbled stone at the gate. Everything seemed deteriorated and, well not to be rude but, completely unsafe. From what he’d heard, the castle was a fortress, an impenetrable bunker with an armory larger than any others out there. What struck him as the oddest thing though, was the fact that it didn’t appear to be from a recent attack. It looked as if it had been falling apart for a long time.

 

“Was just about to say the same thing,” Benny said. They’d heard stories about this place since they were children and now it seemed it was all nothing but a fairy tale. 

 

“And who might you two be?” A tale, grumpy looking dark man asked, walking over to them with a grim look on his face. Benny was assuming this was Rufus.

 

“Benny Lafitte, Dean Winchester from Sanctuary Hills,” Benny said, procuring the list Bobby had made them and handed it over to the man.

 

“Hm, Bobby’s boys, well, welcome to The Castle! Ronnie here will show you were to set down your packs,” Rufus said with a nod, “I’ll work on getting these supplies together.”

 

Ronnie jerked her head in a nod, “Come with me fellas. First time here I take it?” she asked turning on her heel to head towards the bunkers.

 

“Yeah, you could say that,” Dean said, looking around a bit as they moved on. Eventually, his impatience got the better of him and he started asking questions. “How long has the front gate been like that, ya’ll didn’t think to maybe, rebuild or something?”

 

Ronnie stopped, turning to give the kid her infamous stink eye, “And pray tell where would the supplies come from to rebuild a wall like that? Every warehouse from here to Diamond City belongs to the raiders, to the gunners and better yet to the damn green mutants. If you princesses would like to step it up and clear one of them out, I’d be glad to build that wall back up for ya!” Ronnie griped, tsking her tongue, “Damn children, thinking they know better just cause it’s their first day out on the job, psh.” 

 

“No, I wasn’t sayin’ anything like that...I just mean, Hell we’ve got some stuff back at the Sanctuary, couldn’t bring much with us, cause it’s heavy-”

 

“Let me stop ya there son. Hauling that kind of material across the Commonwealth is not only suicidal but asking for a shit load of trouble that I don’t got time to deal with. Especially havin to explain to good ol Singer why his precious green horn got murdered on the way here,” She said with another shake of her head. They passed the threshold of the walls and she jerked her thumb, “Cots are that way. Let me give ya piece of advice kid, comin in with that kind of attitude ain’t gonna get you nowhere around here. Especially with us vets. So, keep your mouth shut, get your supplies and get the hell on out,” she said, eyeing both kids before striding back out towards her post.

 

“And I thought Bobby was a dick sometimes,” Benny said, blinking a few times.

 

Dean shook his head as he whispered a response to his friend, “Damn I was just tryin’ to help.”

 

“C’mon, let’s grab some food and a couple hours of shut-eye...then maybe we can find someone who is less of a dick to talk to about the attacks.”

 

Benny shook his head, following Dean to the room filled with cots. There were two others in there who barely gave them a nod. It made him thankful for the way Bobby ran things back home and he couldn't wait to get back. The got their stuff locked away in the footlockers and Benny pulled Dean towards the food and drink stand, getting them both cold glasses of purified water.

 

“Who do you think we should ask? They all seem like grumpy fucks,” Benny said.

 

“Hell if I know,” Dean said quietly before they were silently handed a ration pack from a dark-haired, equally angry brute.

 

They ate quietly for a few minutes, barely chewing what he hoped would be his last meal inside the castle, though Dean knew neither of them was really in the position to turn down food. The storm had added onto their trip, even with Castiel’s generosity of the nasty mutfruit, they’d also given away some jerky so it evened out a bit, meaning they were still running lower than he’d like.

 

Just as they were about to finish up a garish pink caught at the corner of his eye and Dean’s head snapped toward it.

 

A girl, young but not a child, about Sammy’s age. She looked...completely out of place in the muted tans and greens of the other wardrobes. Not to mention, she actually had a smile on her face and was half dancing her way through the room that served as a cafeteria.

 

“Her, that’s who we need to talk to.”

 

Benny nodded following Dean across the room to the girl who was bobbing her head to some music no one else could hear.

 

“Hi,” he said, starting out easy in case the whole, being an actual human being thing, was a schtick. “I’m Dean, this is Benny...we’re from Sanctuary Hills.

 

Charlie looked them up and down, a slow smile stretching her lips, “Figured you two were new. I’m Charlie from well...here,” she grinned, “What can I do for ya?”

 

“You’re…” Dean started, then paused cause he wasn’t sure how to say it. She looked up at him with a raised brow and a bit of a smirk.

 

“Not your type,” she said with a wink.

 

“What he means is that you’re different from the others around here,” Benny said softly.

 

Charlie barked out a laugh, “Oh you have no idea. I’m fairly new here myself but they found me sick as a dog and brought me here to see their doctor. Now, I’m their tech girl,” she said.

 

“Could we join you, just to chat while you eat?” Dean asked as a bud of hope grew in his chest. He didn’t want to put too much faith in finding out what happened but at least Charlie looked like a semi-normal person which was the first he’d run into since being in this damn place. She was nice too, openly so, which meant if they were going to get any information at all, it was going to be Charlie that gave it to them.

 

“Sure, c’mon, I eat up on one of the towers. Too stuffy in here,” she said and took her tray down the hallway. There was a sharp turn that led to the stairs and she hurried up them to get up in one of the guard towers. Thankfully this one was usually empty this time of day so she could eat in peace most of the time.

 

“So, what can I do for ya boys?” she asked scooping up today’s goop with her spoon.

 

“How’d you know-” Dean started but then stopped. He obviously hadn’t been very subtle. “Sorry we just, we need some information and it’s nothing like super secret I don’t think, it happened like ten years ago, but we also don’t want to offend anyone by asking so…”

 

Charlie eyed him a bit then shrugged, “Well, I’d start with the archives. It’s in a musty old room beneath us. There’s actually a whole system of tunnels that run under this place. Complete with a lockdown system if this place were to ever be under attack. Anyway, every mission is recorded. Including any stress signals that are answered. If it’s not in the books, check the terminals next.”

 

“But can we just...go down there?” he asked, turning to Benny with a confused look, before glancing back. “They’re probably not just open to the public are they?”

 

“Yep, they’re accessible by everyone. There is a password for the terminals though, it’s freedom,” she said, “Is there something specific you’re looking for?”

 

“Yeah, there’s..” Dean swallowed, unsure if he should be sharing or not but if anyone was going to blow the whistle on him, he doubted it would be Charlie. “We met a guy, on the way here. Said about a decade ago they got a visit from some of our people, said they promised to aid if something happened but basically left them defenseless. There was a raid that wiped out the entire village and nobody responded to the distress signal. Nobody .”

 

Charlie stopped chewing and stared at him for a moment, “That...that doesn’t sound right. At all. I mean, the guys here are jerks to each other but when it comes to people in need, they rush right out. I’ve seen it myself countless times. Did this guy’s people even shoot up the smoke grenade?” She asked suddenly not hungry anymore.

 

“From what he said they sent off all the signals, but were picked apart by raiders, then other things out in the Commonwealth once they tried to run. It was damn horrific, the way he described it,” Dean said as a shiver ran down his spine. He remembered the dark, empty look in Castiel’s eyes when he told the story. He never wanted to see that expression again. “That’s why I want to find out what happened, y’know? I didn’t think any of our people would do that.”

 

“Something...something else must have happened. I’ll help you, let's get down there before Ronnie sees us. We can be down there she’s just a bitch about ‘lollygagging’” Charlie rolled her eyes and stood up. She didn’t have to look back to know the two of them were following right behind her. She dropped her plate in the bucket and hurried down the hall even further past the stairs. The planning room was empty and then it was another sharp left turn before they were jogging down the stairs. She punched the password into the terminal and got it open.

 

At Benny’s sneeze, she chuckled, “Told you it was gross down here. Okay, so you said it was what ten years ago? So that would be 2277,” she mumbled to herself going over to a shelf filled with boxes labeled with the year.

 

“Well hell, you’re weren’t kidding, they take their records seriously,” Dean said, he grabbed a box and handed it to Benny before taking another one for himself. “Let’s get crackin’.”

 

They sorted through the files one by one for almost an hour before Charlie popped up with an “AHA!’

 

“Okay, so you said his town was called Sommerville right?” Charlie asked keeping her finger in place.

 

“Yeah, that’s what Ca-he said,” Dean answered, wincing a bit at how obvious he was. He just didn’t want things to escalate and a slip of a name was dangerous information for him to have, let alone Charlie. He trusted her but didn’t want to make things harder for her either.

 

“What does it say?” he asked, pushing closer to try to examine the file, but it was still partially upside down.

 

Charlie eyed him a bit but let it go, “Well here it says that there was one patrol sent out but when they came back it was with the status that the settlement had been abandoned,” Charlie frowned. She looked before and after it and her stomach dropped. Without a word, she scrambled up towards their map on the wall, “Ooooh shit. This isn’t good,” she muttered.

 

Benny made a face, pulling the book she’d been reading towards him. It took him a minute and then he understood, “They checked out two other settlements in that same time frame. Both of them had been taken out as well. I’m going to guess these two would have been the ones in range to send aid to Sommerville?” Benny asked.

 

Charlie nodded her head slowly, “Yep...if these were taken out first, it would have left Sommerville completely defenseless. Now, I don’t know what happened with the Brotherhood, but we work on a telephone tree system. One compound sees a blue grenade go up and whoever is in the area, sends radio feedback to us here. Then whoever we have out in the field is sent to the location right away. Neither of these places was seen using their grenades or radioed in for help. And there’s only one group out there that would do something like this,” Charlie said biting her lip.

 

“Who?” Dean asked, though there was a sick feeling in his gut. What kind of assholes would just leave settlement after settlement abandoned and alone to fight off a war they weren’t prepared for and could have never survived. Castiel was damn lucky to make it out, though he was sure there were days the guy would disagree with him on that perspective.

 

“Well, it depends on if you’re a believer or not but...the Institute-”

 

“No one knows if they truly exist or not Charlie,” Benny argued.

 

“I for one, believe they do. Especially since someone brought me a synth to dissect a month ago, the thing looked human until they showed me the bullet wound in its chest. The last we heard was the Gen 2 synths were the last of their kind before C.I.T. was attacked and raided,” Charlie sighed.

 

“Well I’m all ears, can’t say I’ve ever had any experience with them, but I’m not one for burying my head in the sand when it comes to stuff like this,” Dean said, which closed Benny’s mouth on the subject as well. He knew it would. It was one thing not to believe the scary stories around the campfire as a kid, another thing to see that there were things not adding up and ruling out a potential threat to themselves and to their home.

 

“There’s nothing to really say cause no one knows anything really. All we know for certain is that they are out there and for whatever reason, they’re kidnapping kids from Diamond City. I mean, that’s what the rumor is anyway. But from what I can see, whatever happened ten years ago, didn’t happen again,” Charlie said.

 

“Well shit, this is somethin’ our people outta know about,” Dean said quietly, as he turned to his best friend. “I know that suggesting The Institute was behind all this isn’t going to be a welcome idea among most people, but I think if anyone would understand, it would be Uncle Bobby. We’ll start there.”

 

“Thanks Charlie, you’re a lifesaver, it would have taken me too long to find what I needed here.”

 

“You’re welcome Dean,” She said and bit her bottom lip, “Just...look I’m all for taking down the big scary guys who pick on the smaller ones but...just be careful okay? Messing with the Institue will not end well,” she said softly.

 

“Don’t worry, Charlie. We work smart, we’re not doing anything until we find out more about what’s going on out there anyway.” He grinned and gave her a wink. “Keep in touch though, okay? We better meet up with Rufus and get those supplies so we can cover some distance before it gets dark.”

 

“Sounds good, see ya around kid,” Benny said with a wave. Once they were back upstairs Benny grabbed at Dean’s arm, “You wanna head straight home?” he asked with a quirked brow.

 

Part of him did wanna find Castiel, he was sure Benny would say the same about MacCready but there was also something screamin’ at him to get the information he had back to Bobby.

 

Still...it wasn’t that far away if they just took a shortcut between the two spaces, hell it might not even be completely out of their way. “We’ll give finding them a try but if we don’t run into them on the way I don’t know about going all the way out to Jamaica Plains. Let’s just hope they’re on a similarly tight schedule.”

 

“Sounds good boss, let’s get goin,” Benny said.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel glanced around the infant settlement and took in a deep breath.  He could do this. MacCready was restless next to him and Castiel completely understood the feeling.  Jamaica Plains was the farthest one they’d attempted to ally with but they’d heard their distress calls over their long range.  And so far, he hadn’t seen any signs of the Brotherhood or Minutemen coming to their aid.

 

Like he was surprised.

 

“And you are?” The woman before him asked.  She had a snarky look about her that Castiel liked immediately.

 

“My name is Castiel Novak, this is my companion MacCready.  We’re from the settlement Nordhagen Beach-”

 

“You’re a long way from home Clarence,” she said with a quirked brow.  Castiel furrowed his brows at the nickname but pushed it to the side.

 

“We heard your distress calls.  We’re here to help,” he said. The woman scoffed, eyeing the two of them with an incredulous stare.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.  We asked for help, not two children,” she snarked.  MacCready stepped forward and Castiel quickly put his hand out.  The story of MacCready punching a girl in the face when he was younger ringing in his head.  

 

“You want help or not?” Castiel asked.  The woman eyed them for a moment before sighing heavily.

 

“Guess I’m not really in the position to deny help when no one else has answered.  Alright well, there’s a factory not far from here. The place is swarming with those green bastards.  I’m pretty damn sure there’s a fucking behemoth lurking around there as well. We finally got something going here, our farm is showing signs of growth and these sons of bitches keep running us through.  We have to run or risk getting killed and they trample over everything. What they don’t destroy they take. We tried to stand up to them once and lost someone,” she said, pressing her lips together tightly to probably keep the rushing feelings buried deep down.  Castiel’s chest squeezed painfully, nodding his head as he took a step closer. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears that she quickly brushed away, a sardonic kind of smile pulling at her lips.

 

“Kill them and we’ll talk about a reward,” she said.

 

“We don’t want caps,” Castiel said quickly.  

 

“Oh yeah, what is it you want then.  Didn’t think you swung my way with Mr. Dangerous at your back,” she smirked.  There was a huffed out laugh behind him and Castiel fought the urge to roll his eyes.  Even it would be out of fondness.

 

“We’ll talk when the mission is over, we’ll be back in a few hours,” Castiel said, turning on his heel in the direction of the factory.  

 

“I guess that means me too,” MacCready said with just a touch of bitterness once they’d put the smug bitch behind them. There was something about that woman that just rubbed him wrong, even though he himself was known for phrases wrapped in barbed wire and thorns. “Do you have any idea what it is, we’re up against or how many? You didn’t even ask. Goth Barbie got under your skin and you just took the job.”

 

“We need more allies RJ, you know this.  Did you see how many people they have already?” Castiel said with some annoyance.  He knew better than to walk into a dangerous mission with his head not on straight but what choice did he have?  They had to act quick just in case the other two heard word of the stress calls.

 

“I did, also saw little ones and I know you did too. Not that I mind, boss I just want you to be honest with me. If I’m gonna die today, I damn sure want you to acknowledge the reason why,” MacCready said, shaking his head to himself. Castiel pretended to be a man of steel and for the most part he was, but you put anything human and under the age of ten in front of him and the man melted into a pile of goo on the inside.

 

Castiel stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face his friend, “You are not going to die Rj.  Not today, not tomorrow,” He said through gritted teeth. When MacCready continued to just stare at him Castiel sighed, moving to sink down on a rotted tree stump.  He was exhausted, been running himself ragged for months now it seemed. Castiel rubbed at his face, “I don’t care how much of a bitch that woman was...I saw those kids and I saw myself.  Even if I wanted to turn down the mission...I just can’t. I won’t let what happened to my family...or yours, happen to them. Never again,” Castiel hissed.

 

“Fair enough, boss. I just needed to hear you say it. I don’t care how many twisted up, rad filled bodies we need to lay on the ground at our feet, I just gotta remember the reason why.” He said a small lift at the corner of his upper lip. “It keeps me sharp, y’know?”  

 

Castiel lifted up his eyes and caught MacCready’s, both of them nodding at each other.  It was the main reason why they worked so well together, they understood one another. Even without words.  He took up his friend’s hand and allowed for himself to be pulled up to his feet, “Let’s go,” he said softly.  As they continued on their path, Castiel felt lighter. Sharing this responsibility with someone as capable as MacCready made it easier to breathe.

 

They walked for a while until they came across a building that resembled a skeleton more than anything else.  Sure enough, there were a few mutants roaming around, one of which was nearly fifteen feet tall and carried around a damn club.  

 

“Fucking hell,” Castiel growled, “I don’t think your rifle is gonna take that thing out,” he whispered.  They were going to have to split up, one to draw the behemoth away and the other to take out the guards outside.  It set his teeth on edge.

 

“I’m not sure one of those old _tanks_ would take that thing out,” MacCready answered, his eyes wide with disbelief at the thing in front of him. No wonder the monsters were tearing up the gardens, hell they might not have even meant to at that size. It could squash him like a bug.

 

“We just need to get him away from the others,” the words were stale in his mouth.  He pulled his rifle around from his back and began checking it and his extra ammo rounds that they had gotten lucky to purchase from a caravan making its rounds.  Even more so he was just happy it wasn’t that wench Trashcan Carla. Even though it seemed like they had plenty, he just prayed that was actually enough or they’d be running for a while.  

 

“Yeah that’d be great if it wasn’t f-”

 

MacCready had opened his mouth to say something but Castiel wasn’t listening.

 

Off in the distance, he could see two figures, moving right in the direction of the factory.

 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Castiel said, fingers gripping at the small wall that they were crouched behind.  He couldn't believe it, it was them! Dean and Benny were walking quickly, as if on a mission and heading straight to the factory.  Had they gone to Jamaica Plains and gotten the same job as they did? A flare of anger surged through him when he realized they didn’t even have their guns out and ready.  

 

They were going to get slaughtered.  

 

“Shit, fuck,” Castiel spat, getting up and running low to stay behind the wall.

 

As soon as the curses came out of Castiel’s mouth, MacCready was on high alert, his eyes scanning the area and faltering a bit when he too, spotted what had put the guy on edge.

 

_Dean and Benny._

 

Not that he was disappointed to see them, per say, but just as Castiel had noticed, MacCready realized quickly they were sitting ducks in their current position. He followed closely, but not close enough to trip up his friend, and did everything he could to stop imagining those bright blue eyes, cold and lifeless.

 

Nightmares are a myth in this hell he’s lived the last few years.

 

Nightmares only happen when you’re asleep, or so they say.

 

His fucked up brain gives him plenty of fantasy horrors awake and asleep.

 

Castiel was breathing heavily, his vision narrowed in like a tunnel on the two men in front of him.  They were finally in hearing distance but Castiel couldn’t shout, the mutants had impeccable hearing.  Instead, he grabbed up a rock the size of a marble and chucked it, not caring where it landed just as long as it got their attention.  It just so happened to get Dean right in the side of his head.

 

“Ow fuck,” Dean hissed, a small trail of blood leaking from his temple. When he straightened up though, he could see it was Castiel who’d thrown the damn thing. He nearly went off on the guy, until he belatedly realized how fucked they truly were.

 

He swallowed hard and his arm reached out to silently stop Benny in his tracks. “Weapons,” he whispered as quietly as possible, before quietly unsnapping his gun, though with the size of those things he wasn’t sure it would help. They’d need something bigger, thankfully Benny had a good amount of ammo left in his sniper rifle.

 

Castiel shook his head, his arms flailing for the two of them to come closer and not start pointing their guns.  If they could sneak away, regroup they could handle this together. Castiel didn’t care if he had to share the bounty or whatever, caps were never his thing.  They were MacCready’s.

 

Benny’s eyes never left the monstrous green things roaming around, especially the huge one that stumbled around almost dumbly.  Benny wasn’t an idiot though, even if it seemed dumb it could kill them all with one swipe of the fire hydrant it was carrying around like a club.  He grabbed the back of Dean’s shirt and slowly lowered them into a crouch, scurrying across the dirt to get their new...hopefully friends.

 

Castiel glared at them both and quickly led them away until they were out of range for now, “Are you two fucking stupid!” Castiel hissed.

 

“Well I sure as hell ain’t any smarter after that blow to the head,” Dean snarked back, pointing to the trickle of blood sliding down his skin.

 

MacCready muffled his snort but still managed to earn a glare from Castiel, though he wasn’t the least bit ashamed of it. Dean was funny, cute if you liked em’ small, but funny even if you didn’t.

 

Castiel couldn’t help it, he blushed and felt his lips twitch for a split second.  Dammit. He sighed and dragged his fingers through his hair, mussing it up even more than it already was, “I’m...I’m just glad we saw you before…” he shook his head and took in a deep breath, “What are you guys doing here anyway?”

 

“Honestly? Lookin’ for you. But lemme tell ya, this isn’t quite what we had in mind…” Dean said, shaking his head as he glanced back over his shoulder toward the jolly green giant. “Fuck those things are huge. You guys wouldn’t happen to have a tank hidden in your bags somewhere would you?”

 

“Sorry, Dean, but I left it in my other pants,” MacCready grinned, smiling smugly as Benny’s ears began to turn a bit pink. He hoped it wasn’t just the sun, that maybe he was thinking about exactly what was hiding in these particular pants. “Besides, we discussed it and we don’t think a tank would work if we had one anyway, those bastards are hard to kill.”

 

Benny nodded, looking around the wall that they were currently hiding behind.  The behemoth was wandering around aimlessly, his attention being drawn away by the slightest of noises before returning back to his path, as if trained.  Benny bit his lip and swallowed hard, the nerves rising up from the pit of his stomach.

 

“Alright, look...Dean and I...we’ve never done this kind of shit before.  I’m a good shot but in a practice range and this fucked up situation has my stomach in knots.  I need to know exactly why you’re planning on taking them out before I let my boy here go anywhere near that,” Benny demanded, eyeing first MacCready and then Castiel.

 

Castiel closed his eyes and nodded, “There’s a settlement, the one I told you we were going.  Jamaica Plains. They’re growing but have no protection. They’ve been sending out distress calls and from what I’m assuming, we’re the first to respond.  Then again...and I’m not saying this lightly to give either of those pricks an excuse, they may not have the right signal for the Brotherhood or Minutemen.”

 

“Anyway,” he growled out at MacCready’s look of astonishment, “These green bastards have been attacking them, stealing their food, destroying the rest.  They’ve already lost someone...and they have children,” Castiel said, the last word coming out strained and pain filled.

 

“Well then, looks like we made it just in time,” Dean said, smoothly. He was freaking out internally but he wasn’t going to let it show. It wasn’t just about putting on a brave face or acting tough. He could tell beneath the cold veneer that Castiel was scared for the people of Jamaica Plains, and maybe a little for himself. Dean wasn’t going to do anything to feed that fear, not for Cas, not for any of them.

 

“Let’s take the green bastards down.”

 

He starts explaining a plan that isn’t quite fully formed in his mind but it’s a good start. Soon Castiel, Benny, and MacCready are all adding onto it, closing up the weak points and within just a few minutes they’ve come up with the best shot they’re going to have at least. It still might all go to hell but it’s one damn well thought out op as far as the tactical shit went at least.

 

“Alright fellas, you ready for this?”

* * *

  
  


“Duck!” Benny shouted, shoving MacCready hard to the side as a damn boulder the size of their bodies came hurling past them.  Why the hell had he agreed to one, split away from Dean and two choose to be one of the ones to draw away the big thing!

 

Benny dove out of the way of another one and landed on his shoulder with a loud grunt.  There was an audible pop and he was panting heavily. He was pretty sure it was popped out of place now.  He cursed under his breath and somehow managed to pull himself up, his eyes scanning frantically for MacCready.  His heart had just dipped when there was a loud succession of pops, drawing the beast away from Benny. MacCready had gotten himself up on a rock and was shooting nearly point blank at the thing.  

 

“Fuck…” he growled out.  This was going to hurt. He squeezed his eyes shut and rammed his shoulder against a tree and cried out when his shoulder popped back into its socket.  He was definitely going to feel that in the morning.

 

“Die already, Asshole,” MacCready said, shooting at it again. He could feel the pain starting to radiate up his leg but it was manageable. He’d had worse and still been able to hold his own in a fight. He heard something crack once and he forced himself not to look, didn’t want to see Benny in pain, even if it wasn’t serious. But then he’d heard it again and moved his position just enough to see behind him while keeping the Incredible Hulk busy trying to catch his bullets, like an idiot.

 

“You okay there, muscles?”

 

Benny took in a deep breath, his entire body trembling a bit, “Y-Yeah…” he stammered, wincing and fighting the urge to cry out again when he lifted up his heavy rifle.  He was going to have to reload soon. Not wanting to take any chances he quickly did so, teeth digging into his lip as a sharp pain shot down his arm, making his fingers tingle.  They just needed to get this thing down and then they could join with Castiel and Dean to take out the rest.

 

“Let’s get this fucker,” he panted, lifting up his rifle and firing right into the things face.  He barely missed the smile he got as an answer, his eyes completely focused on the Behemoth’s arm firing back.  Before he could rethink, he was shoving MacCready out of the way again, getting the full brunt of the boulder against his chest.  He didn’t even have enough air in his lungs to shout, just went down like a heavy sack of laundry.

 

“Fucking martyrs,” MacCready mumbled before he slung his gun over his shoulder and climbed up the short branches of a nearby tree and got a better position. Even this son of a bitch couldn’t stand with three more rounds right between the eyes. It toppled over, crashing into a wall at the same time but MacCready knew it wouldn’t be getting back up again.

 

He dropped down out of the tree and winced as his bad ankle folded under him before he crawled over to where Benny was still lying lifeless on the ground.

 

His heart leaped to his throat and he swallowed hard around it, trying not to let his fears get the best of him. “Muscles?” he said, his voice marking his panic clearly. “Benny? Ben-, come on man, don't do this…”

 

Benny wondered if this was what it felt like to get run over buy a truck or however it was that saying goes.  He’d seen it in a few books from before the Great War and never understood it. Until now. Everything hurt, even drawing breath made his body shudder but there was a voice calling out to him.  He grunted, feeling his stomach churn as he slowly rolled over onto his back.

 

“Y-You...you okay?’ Benny managed to choke out, his eyes still squeezed shut.  The sun was searing straight into his brain.

 

“Yes, you absolute idiot!” MacCready said, relief forcing him to sag on the ground beside the larger man. He knew he needed to get up, even if Benny couldn’t. Dean and Castiel still needed help, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet. “Thought I lost you there for a minute, you can’t do shit like that. I-you-ugh!”

 

“Sorr-” Benny had to stop talking to clear his throat, his eyes finally able to flutter open.  The look of deep concern etched on MacCready’s face made his chest swell a bit, “Sorry darlin, I tend to do stupid things but you’re okay...worth it,” Benny groaned.  He had a pretty good feeling that one of his ribs was either broken or fractured. There was no way he was going to be able to move or join the rest of the attack.

 

“I’m really not, but we’ll save that for later...I’mma pull you over by that tree and go help the other two out, but...keep yourself safe and don’t do anything stupid. _Anything ELSE._ ”

 

MacCready did as he said, taking short bursts as to not disrupt Benny’s breathing any more than necessary, but he finally got him pulled into the shade and as well hidden as he was going to get. Thankfully it was a short trip. “I’ll be right back...don’t die or anything.”  

 

Benny huffed out a laugh, “I won’t, make sure Dean knows I’m okay.  He’ll freak out when he sees I’m not with you. I know...I know Cas is your main priority but please, please keep an eye on Dean.  He does stupid ass things too,” Benny grinned, his head falling back a bit to try and relax as much as he could.

 

“I don't want _anyone_ getting hurt, Benny...that goes for your minuteman too,” MacCready said softly, he wanted the man to understand that he knew the score and he was still going to look out for Dean. It was only a small reassurance with everything considered, but it was also the only thing he could offer. He’d kept his mouth shut toward Castiel because Dean seemed like an okay guy. That look in his eyes when he’d heard what happened to them, it was enough to convince MacCready to give a little trust, though it wasn’t something he was in the habit of doing.

 

Benny’s eyes snapped open and narrowed a bit.  There was no accusation, no threat in MacCready’s voice.  There was something he’d never expected, not after they had heard Castiel’s story and that was understanding.  Both of them were in the position to protect their charges and Benny’s respect for the other man soared. He gripped at MacCready’s forearm and nodded, “Thanks.”

 

“Stay alive a little longer and I’ll thank you properly for bein’ stupidly brave, muscles.”

 

MacCready didn’t linger any longer, every precious second was one that both Castiel and Dean could be in danger, and even without his promise, he didn’t want anything to happen to either of them.

 

He got down low as he made his way back to where they planned to draw their own beast away and sighed in relief when they were both still standing and seemingly without major injuries at least, though who was to say. Castiel was a stubborn son of a bitch and Dean seemed like he could give the guy a run for his money.

 

He kept his gun down at his side until he was just a few feet behind the two, tucked away in a high patch of grass. He wouldn’t be there long enough to worry about snakes, at least he hoped not. MacCready aimed his weapon high, letting a few shots loose.

 

Castiel heard the shots and felt a certain tightness in his chest ease up whenever he and MacCready had to split up, “They’re behind us,” Castiel said, knowing full well that Dean could probably figure that one out himself.  There were only a handful of those assholes left, the majority of them had come running out of the building with all the racket Benny and MacCready had created. They still had to do a full sweep of the factory though.

 

“Two on your right!” Castiel shouted, covering Dean’s back when the other man starting firing in that direction.

 

“Where’s Benny?”

 

MacCready moved in closer, putting himself in the middle of the blitz as they took on the remaining threats. “Don’t worry, Dean. Muscles is alive, just got the wind knocked out of him, not up to bein’ vertical just yet.”

 

Part of him was relieved but he was still mostly on edge. It would have to take a hell of a lot for Benny to send the guy back in without him...still, worrying wouldn’t do anything but get him killed. He’d deal with whatever the fallout was later.

 

Castiel took down the last two standing and leaned back with a tired sigh, “How we doin on ammo?” he asked reloading his clip.  He had three left in his bag, hopefully, that was going to be enough once they were inside. From where they were you could practically see through everything but that didn’t mean it didn’t have a sub-basement or something.

 

“Not bad, but if there’s too many more, I’ll have to switch weapons,” Dean answered. He had plenty of firepower for the second gun but he prefered Justice, not only a kickass name, but easier to handle and gave him a little better aim.

 

“I’m good boss, just reloaded. But we better make it quick...I’m thinkin

muscles might need some first aid.”

 

“We will, but we’re not going to be careless,” Castiel said with a firm nod.  With everyone recharged, they headed into the building.

 

* * *

  


Benny gripped his rifle tightly in his fingers.  He hadn’t been able to budge, too afraid to mess up the hurt rib anymore than it already was.  In the distance, he could hear the gunfire, the silence following afterward sending his heart into overdrive.  He just hoped that the green pricks were dead and his group was going to to be able to come for him quickly.

 

Once the place was cleaned out, MacCready set out for Benny in a dead run. He hadn’t expected it to take as long as it did, and the more he thought about the blows the man had taken for him, the more he worried. When he saw Benny lying in the same position his stomach dropped.

 

“Fuck, fuck-” he said to himself skidding forward a bit as he tried to slide down next to the man without stopping. When he saw those bright blue eyes blinking upward he sighed in relief. “Damn muscles, scared the shit out of me all over again...how bad is it?”

 

“Think I busted out a rib,” Benny grunted, relief surging through him for not only seeing Dean but the other two as well.  MacCready seemed to have accepted their secret, he hoped mostly for Dean’s sake that Castiel would as well, “You think that place...Jamaica Plains will have a clinic?” he asked.

 

Castiel winced a little at the state Benny was in and knelt down next to the man, “I can’t guarantee but it’ll be somewhere safe for you to rest until you can move a bit better on your own,” he said with a little smile.

 

“We need to get word back to camp,” Dean said, though he agreed with Castiel that Benny shouldn’t be moving any more than absolutely necessary. “I’ll find something, rig you up a stretcher, carry you on my back if I have to. Though, I might consider putting you on a diet five minutes into the trip.”

 

MacCready was a little jealous of the rapport between the two, though he tried not to let it show too much. Honestly, he was so worried about Benny that it was the last fucking thing he cared about. “I’ll help, I’m not just a pretty face you know.”

 

Castiel fidgeted.  One mission and his best friend was thinking about abandoning him?  He knew Benny was hurt and Castiel owed him more than he could ever repay back for saving MacCready but they had their own mission to complete, one that went beyond today.  He swallowed a bit at the bitter taste in his mouth and picked at his rifle strap.

 

“Let’s get him back to Jamaica Plains for the night,” Castiel said firmly, leaving no room for any arguments.

 

“Alright,” Dean answered. He rubbed his hands together and looked around for supplies. While putting together the best makeshift stretcher they could, Dean tried to keep his spirits up even if there was something clearly off with Castiel. The last thing he wanted to do was give Benny anything else to worry about.

 

MacCready could practically see the wheels spinning in his friends head, none of it spelling anything good, but he wouldn’t start a fight, not here. He rarely disagreed with his friend but sometimes, not often, but sometimes, Castiel let his priorities skew way too far. Not to mention, he knew exactly how helpful it would be for them to make allies of Dean and Benny, though he couldn’t quite say it like that.

 

Castiel led the way, keeping his eyes trained for any sign of movement.  He didn’t want to be caught by surprise by something else wandering around the wasteland.  To say his emotions were crushing him and going in five hundred different directions would be an understatement.  He wanted to get home, he wanted to make sure Dean and Benny got to their settlement okay…

 

His mind went blank after that.  Dean and Benny were strangers yes but it suddenly dawned on him that he hadn’t once offered their same deal to the two of them.  He knew it had everything to do with the fact that they had gone in the direction of the Castle. Castiel didn’t want to be associated with anyone connected with the Minutemen.  But yet, here he was. Walking with Dean and Benny to a settlement that they were about to ally with. It went against everything he thought he believed in.

 

It took what felt like forever but they managed to reach Jamaica Plains, the girl they had met before stopped her work at the well and hurried to them.

 

“You...you’re alive?  Who are they?” she asked, eyes wide.

 

“They’re…” Castiel turned to look at the other two and the expression on MacCready’s face wasn’t something he’d ever seen before.  He wasn’t quite sure how to even read it, “They’re friends. He needs a doctor though, do you have any Stimpaks?” Castiel asked. The girl nodded quickly, guiding them to a house that Castiel was assuming was being used for their clinic.

 

MacCready and Dean managed to get Benny into the small entryway, though the man was not an easy load to carry. They didn’t bother trying to get him up onto a table or a bed even, just pulled him inside on the makeshift stretcher. They were relieved to see the doc was willing to bend down to get to him, already assessing the injuries quickly.

 

“Two fractured ribs, at least, a broken arm, hell I don’t know...maybe some internal bleeding but I don’t want to operate unless absolutely necessary, so we’ll put that off for now. Here, take this...it’s not going to help much but it’s better than nothing,” The doc said, popping two small tablets into Benny’s mouth with a clean drink of water.

 

After a few minutes, the doc turned to them all with a grim expression. “He needs to rest for a little while and I’ll keep an eye on him, but if there’s gonna be someone in here, watch for any bruising around his ribcage or abdomen, with so many fractures the chance of him bleeding internally is high and if that’s the case we’ll have to operate, but like I said before, last resort.”

 

“No problem, I’ll be right here..I’ll come after you if he starts changin’ colors anywhere,” MacCready said, but Dean shook his head.

 

“I’m not telling you that you can’t be here man, but it’s clear that you’ve got some _other things_ to take care of first. I’ll sit with him till then,” Dean promised, pushing MacCready toward Castiel. Softly whispering, “Go figure out what the hell is wrong with him.”

 

Castiel wasn’t paying attention, there was too much buzzing in his brain for him to focus.  As MacCready and Dean seemed to be having a private conversation, Castiel went back outside where the woman was, gnawing on her thumbnail.

 

“The factory is cleared out as we promised,” he said.  She blinked up at him and nodded twice.

 

“So...what was it that you wanted if not for caps?” she asked.

 

“Your alliance.  Once you agree, I radio back home and start the process of some of my people coming here with supplies to make sure your defenses are up to par.  Along with anyone you want or need to train, they will stay to help with that as well,” Castiel explained.

 

“You plannin on a fight or something blue eyes?  You save our hides, promise protection and even bring us the tools to defend ourselves...and all you want in return is for us to ally with you?” She asked, the stress in her eyes melting into one of what Castiel was assuming was flirtation.

 

“Maybe someday down the road but not today and not tomorrow.  Do you agree?” Castiel asked.

 

“We do.  Meg, by the way, you sure I can’t pay you back in another way as well?” she asked moving a bit closer.

 

“Don’t flatter yourself, he’s not interested,” MacCready said, shaking his head at how far that woman was barking up the wrong tree. Sure, Castiel might have been taken in by those big chocolate brown puppy eyes but she didn’t have the right plumbing and they both knew it.

 

“I need a minute alone here, with my _friend_ ,” he said, raising his eyebrows at her until she finally put her hands up and walked away. He knew there was a smug comment whispered under her breath but he couldn’t care less about what it was.

 

Castiel sighed heavily, “Thanks...she was a little intense,” Castiel muttered, moving to sink down on the steps, “I gotta make the call soon,” he said, wincing at how tired his voice really sounded.  Just a bit more and he’d be in his hut at Nordhagen.

 

“I wasn’t sayin’ that just to get rid of her, Castiel. We need to talk, you’ve been weird since we left the factory. What’s going on?” MacCready asked, trying to be empathetic, though most of that was reserved for Benny considerin’ the guy was lying on a stretcher half dead because he’d knocked him out of the way multiple times and took hits meant for him.

 

“Nothin, just tired,” Castiel said avoiding MacCready’s eyes.  He didn’t know how to answer that simply because he wasn’t even sure of it himself.  There was something roiling in the pit of his stomach and no matter how hard he tried, it wouldn’t stop.

 

“Bullshit, I know you when you’re tired, and you can be a cold bastard sometimes, but nothing like this Castiel...talk to me, tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours and we’ll figure it out,” MacCready offered, the desire to patch everything up could be overwhelming sometimes, but he didn’t let it control him. If Castiel wanted to sulk, so be it but he at least had to try.

 

Castiel finally met his friend’s eyes and stared at him for a breath or two before forcing out a breath, “Maybe...maybe the two in there got more than a little under my skin...more than I’m comfortable admitting to,” he said softly, hands wringing together over his knees.

 

“I don’t get it,” MacCready said, feeling more than a little confused. “If you like them so much why are you being a dick?”

 

“Because I don’t want to like them RJ!” Castiel shouted, jumping to his feet to start pacing.  His heart was thundering in his ears, blood running too hot under his skin, “They’re working with _them_ or did you forget that because you want Benny so badly?” Castiel seethed and instantly regretted it.  MacCready wasn’t like that and Castiel knew it but it was too late to apologize. Would be pointless anyway.

 

“You’re a blind, old fool, Castiel. You’ve been so bitter for so long that you can’t even see shades between black and white anymore…” He didn’t want to say it, hurt him just thinking it, but if anyone was going to put the guy in his place, it had to be him. “This us versus them mentality is killing you, it’s turning you into something...something far worse-.”

 

He lowered his voice, took a long deep breath and he pulled Castiel into a hug. “I know better than anyone what you’ve been through, my friend, and even I can’t fully comprehend. But you’re letting this black hatred fill up your soul, Castiel and I can’t watch you become something uglier than the thing you hate.”

 

Castiel didn’t hug him back right away but that last sentence seemed to crack the very foundation of this personal mission he’d been on.  He clutched at MacCready’s trenchcoat and collapsed but still, he refused to cry. He allowed himself this much weakness, the rest would come once he was safe behind the walls of his own hut.

 

When he felt less rattled like he could finally breathe he gently pulled away, “You should...you should stay here with Benny.  I’ll escort Dean back to his settlement so he can reconnect with his people. I can contact ours on the way and get things on track,” he stammered, licking at his dry lips as he glanced around the compound.  No one seemed to have noticed his meltdown and for that he was glad.

 

“I dunno, I don’t think we should split up right now. I never thought I knew everything but there are a few pieces of information I’ve gathered over the last week or so that makes me think things aren’t adding up right, can you really not just wait here with us?” he asked, feeling a little too much longing in his voice. It wasn’t that he worried about Castiel, well not as much about that at least. But not only did everything feel _wrong_ about Dean being a Minuteman and a good guy, but he suspected Benny was one as well. Not to mention the fact that they’d been searching for them after they hit the castle and he still didn’t know why. “I’m not saying forever, but stay here with us for the night, or maybe a couple of days if necessary.”

 

“It’s not me you should be worried about.  Dean was the one who wanted to lit out of here even with Benny being as hurt as he was.  I don’t think it’s smart for him to take off on his own. I can contact our people from just down the road,” Castiel said, “But if Dean stays, I’ll stay as well.  We got things to take care of here anyway,” he said.

 

“Okay, just… gimme some time, I’ll work on Dean.”

 

* * *

 

Make sure to check me out on tumblr @bugandkitlove


	6. Chapter 6

Dean waited for a bit while MacCready tried to pull that jagged stick out of Castiel’s ass, but he was relieved from duty fairly quickly. He took that to mean the effort was as fruitless as he’d expected. He didn’t say anything though, only nodded toward the man as he sat down at Benny’s other side. “I’ll give you two some time to get to know one another, I’ll be just outside if you need anything.” 

 

He didn’t wait for an answer, only pulled himself to his feet and left them alone. 

 

Outside there were quite a few people for such a small community but what Dean noticed almost immediately is that they had kids, genuine kids. Which was rare, even at a fortified place like Sanctuary Hills. He wasn’t sure if it was something in the air or the water, or people just didn’t wanna fuck anymore...okay it probably wasn’t that, but for some reason, the last few years more and more people were becoming sterile, or at least, they weren’t having kids. 

 

Here though…

 

There were a handful of kids younger than teenagers which were about where their cutoff at Sanctuary Hills was, Sam was one of the younger citizens, but there were maybe half a dozen a few years younger than him. None under ten. 

 

There’s a little girl with dark brown curls, her hair surprisingly soft looking and not matted to her head or cut short like most. She was one of the prettiest kids he’d seen in a long time, but it had been so long since he’d seen one, maybe they all were. 

 

“Hey there, what’s your name?” he asked, crouching down to one knee so that he was eye level with the gorgeous little one. 

 

“Krissy, what’s your name mister?” Krissy asked looking the guy up and down.  He looked nice, pretty even. She smiled brightly up at him and moved closer, taking his hand and dragging him towards the others who were starting a game of kick the ball.

 

“I’m Dean,” he said, following along so that she didn’t have to tug too hard on his hand. Unlike the other two, neither he nor Cas was injured in any way that would leave a mark, not that it would have mattered. 

 

“Woah there, where you takin’ me sweetheart?” he asked, just before he saw a whole group of children playing in a small field. 

 

“Come play!” she said before taking off into the open field.  She turned back to make sure he was following, her lips turning up into a huge grin when he was.  The adults rarely ever got to play with them, always too busy getting the farm plots up.

 

“The big guys on my team!” she yelled.  There really were no rules, just someone kicking at a ball until they got it past a certain point.  Someone had gotten access to a book from before The Great War and read that it was called something like soccer.  She didn’t care, it was fun.

 

Dean grinned at Krissy taking the unfair advantage for herself, but he went to town with the ball. Once he realized the goal was to get it from one end of the field to the other, Dean scored one goal easily before finally slowing himself down and making clumsy passes to his teammates to even the score a bit. 

 

Castiel was walking around the settlement, taking stock of what they had and ultimately what they would need soon when he was stopped by the beautiful sound of children having  _ fun _ .  It was such a glorious thing that he caught several others stopping to listen as well.  He turned the corner of one of the houses and found them playing in an open field. What surprised him to his bones was that Dean was with them.  A huge carefree smile on his face as he kicked the ball to the children. Castiel swallowed around the huge knot growing in his throat as he moved closer, his steps slow and careful.  Scared to break the beautiful scene before him. He wasn’t even aware of a tear escaping but one did and he didn’t even have the care to brush it away as he continued to watch them.

 

“That’s it buddy, you got it! Go!!” Dean said, his voice carrying across the air pushing little Aiden to score. He was about half the size of the others, Dean called him half-pint until he realized it got on the kid's nerves so he switched smoothly back to Aiden, which is what Krissy had told him it was as she jabbed him in the side with her elbow.

 

When the ball crossed the line, Dean rushed forward, pulling the kid up in his arms and spinning him around. “Dude, you did it!!” 

 

“Thank you Mister Dean!” Aiden cried happily, nearly tripping over himself to run over to his pa who was watching from the tato fields.

 

“He’s never been able to do that,” Krissy said lifting her fist.  Dean stared at her and she giggled, grabbing up his hand to touch knuckles with each other, “You’re pretty cool Mister Dean,” she grinned.

 

“Hey now, that was all him. I just showed him how.” Dean said, gently putting Aiden back down on his own two feet. “Be careful kid, might wanna wait a second before you take off running, get your equilibrium back on track.” 

 

Dean chuckled as Aiden sloppily walked forward anyway, shaking his head until something caught at the corner of his eye. He snapped toward it to find Castiel looking at him with an odd  expression on his face, though there was also a barely-there hint at a smile on his lips too. 

 

He walked forward, mostly without thinking until he was standing straight in front of those stormy blue eyes. “Hey…” 

 

“Hello Dean,” Castiel answered softly.  Watching that had made him feel lighter than he had since he’d been a child himself.

 

“You were so good with them,” he said even quieter, eyes flicking back to the children who were playing once more.  Though he did catch the girl who’d taken to Dean looking over at them several times.

 

Dean shrugged, “They make it easy, man.” 

 

He smiled back at Krissy, and stuck his tongue out at her. She returned the gesture but quickly found her way back into a game, something different this time but as long as they were having fun he didn’t mind. “It’s been a while since I saw one that age though.” 

 

“Me too,” Castiel said, not realizing he was smiling until he saw the baffled look on Dean’s face.  He blushed and looked down at his feet, “How’s Benny?” Castiel asked.

 

“He was fine last I checked, your buddy’s lookin’ after him so I’m not too worried. The way they were makin’ heart eyes at one another calms me down enough to give them some space.” 

 

Dean chewed at his lip a little but finally said what was on his mind, well one thing at least. “You should do that more often, you know....smile. It makes you look a little more human.” 

 

Castiel laughed, not able to stop himself from smiling once again, “I do have a soul...I just, tend to lose track of it from time to time,” he said with a wry grin.  He gestured with a tilt of his head towards a bench and sat down, making sure he could still watch as the children played.

 

“I don't know why you hide it man, sure it’s a tough world out there...running into the wrong people, trusting the wrong people, could get you killed but walking through it with a scowl isn’t that much of a shield when you’re a big puffy marshmallow inside,” Dean said, smiled sadly to himself. “Just makes it harder for you to reach people.” 

 

“Sometimes I forget how to,” Castiel admitted, “And I’ve never been particularly good at connecting to people outside of MacCready.  He always says my people skills are rather rusty,” he laughed, shaking his head a bit, “I lose sight of what the ultimate mission is, my personal demons making it hard to see past it at times.”  Castiel kept his eyes down, completely blown away with how much he just revealed about himself to someone he barely knew. His fingers twisted in his lap and he sighed, there was no going back now.

 

“I get it, but making life harder on yourself doesn’t protect you it just...well it makes shit harder. You don’t have to throw yourself out there at people but you’d be surprised what a smile like that would get you these days,” Dean said, only half realizing how much he himself, would offer away at a chance to earn another one. ‘I mean I get that we’re probably not...well friends or anything Cas, but stopping to help you that first time was a knee-jerk reaction and it really saved our asses when the storm rolled in and you trusted us enough to give us shelter.” 

 

“Sure, it wasn’t  _ just _ because we’d fought together, but admit it, sure as hell would have made the decision to let us die a little harder to live with wouldn’t it?”

 

“Of course, especially now.  And I’d-” Castiel chanced a look at Dean and once again, found himself smiling, “I’d like to be friends but I can’t promise I’ll always be sunshine and daisies.  I’m surprised MacCready’s stuck around so long if I’m being honest,” Castiel bit his lip and sighed.

 

“I know I can be difficult, stubborn, hard-headed...that’s just who I am.”

 

“Hey, we all have our things. I have days like that and quirks of my own but I’m sure you’ll figure that out if we have time for that at least.” Dean said, holding his hand out once more for a shake. Though this time, Castiel actually slid his warm hand against his and gripped tightly. It was almost sensual, that or it had been far too long since Dean had taken pleasure in another person. Either way, it was electrifying for a goddamn handshake. 

 

Clearing his throat, he pulled away again. “Well...you wanna come with me to check on the guys?” 

 

Castiel looked out at the children and smiled softly, “Just a few more minutes,” he said, a happy feeling fluttering in his chest when Dean decided to stay with him, both of them leaning back to revel in the peacefulness.

 

* * *

  
  


Benny felt like shit.  He’d woken up with a searing pain in his chest and head, not wanting to move even an inch in fear of causing more pain.  His throat was dry, hell everything including his eyeballs felt as if he was rubbing up against sandpaper. 

 

“Unnnnngh,” he groaned, wanting to roll over or just something but couldn’t.

 

“Sit tight, muscles...don’t wanna do anything to aggravate those broken ribs, blue eyes.” 

 

MacCready had watched over Benny for almost an hour, making sure to double check his bare stomach for any swelling or bruising. Thankfully, there hadn’t been any so far so the doc seemed to settle a bit on their worry for bleeding out internally. 

 

“Hurts,” Benny grunted, gripping the side of the bed until his hand trembled.

 

“I think it's okay now to give him Stimpak,” they said moving up to the side of Benny’s bed.  They’d added a few tablets of Med-x to the mixture to help with the pain. It shouldn’t be too strong to create an addiction...or they hoped anyway.

 

Benny felt the jab in his arm and winced.  Within moments though he could feel the medicine coursing through him, numbing the pain enough for him to breathe evenly and get his eyes open, “Oh this sucks.”

 

“What? What’s wrong?” MacCready asked, normally when someone got a damn Stimpak they felt better, not worse. 

 

“Getting hit with a boulder,” Benny chuckled.  The pain was much better but he still ached everywhere.  His hand unfurled from the bed but met something warmer and he gripped it, realizing slowly that it was MacCready’s hand.

 

“Glad you’re here.”

 

“Well it ain’t like I got anywhere better to be,” MacCready said, as he squeezed tightly around the hand in his and breathed a sigh of relief. This stupidly brave, ridiculously beautiful man was in severe pain so that he didn’t have to be and that thought alone warmed him from head to toe. 

 

He let a smirk rise on his lips and said, “Though I do wish you felt a bit better, we’d be checking off some of those positions on my list.”

 

Benny coughed out a laugh, his face scrunching up a bit as his free hand touched his tender side, “Oh man, please do tell,” Benny teased.  Before he could though, the door opened and Benny missed the warmth in his hand as MacCready gently pulled away.

 

“He’s awake,” Castiel said over his shoulder to Dean as they stepped through the doorway.

 

“Bout damn time, man. I thought you’d gone into hibernation on me already, even though it’s still months away,” Dean teased, glad he could just do that with his friend again. That he wasn’t so terrified that Benny wasn’t going to make it, that he could just fuck with him a bit. 

 

“Get it, cause he’s a bear,” Dean said toward MacCready, wiggling his eyebrows a bit to emphasize it. 

 

“And you travel with him...willingly?” MacCready asked Benny, though there was a large part of him that was barely holding back a laugh. 

 

“I think I was forced into it,” Benny chuckled, allowing for his body to relax a bit more now that Dean was close by.  He knew the guy was safe but it was different when you could actually witness it. 

 

Castiel smiled a little at the banter, carefully moving closer into the room so Dean could as well.  There was only one free chair left that was next to Benny’s bed so Castiel opted to sit on one of the metal containers pressed against the wall.

 

“Whatever, you love me,” Dean grinned, acting as if he would punch at Benny’s arm, but in reality, it was more just a small gust of wind by the time he finished. 

 

“They got kids here man, little kids...you gotta get better so Krissy can use you as a jungle gym like Sammy used to,” he teased, though seeing Benny awake, alert,  _ alive _ did his restless soul good. 

 

“They do? Oh man…” Benny sighed heavily.  He had adored his baby sister, even though she was a tyrant and caused nothing but headaches.  He missed her every day. 

 

“Just...give me more of what that doc gave me...I feel pretty damn good,” he said.

 

Castiel frowned, “Didn’t she just give you a Stimpak?” he asked getting up and going to the counter along the other wall.  There was a jar in a locked up cabinet that he was pretty damn sure was Med-x to which he groaned loudly to, “Sorry big man but no more, can’t have you hooked on chems your first mission out in the wasteland,” he said.  

 

“We’re glad you’re feeling better though,” MacCready said, resisting the urge to glare over his shoulder at Castiel. He knew he didn’t mean anything by it, that it was just his way, but for some reason MacCready was extra sensitive about Benny apparently, well maybe for a lot of reasons only a small portion of them having anything to do with wanting to get bent over by the guy at some point in the future. 

 

Benny simply nodded.  He felt like he was floating and where it did feel nice, he was beginning to hate that he didn’t have control over his body.  Later he would ask what the hell the nurse had slipped into the syringe but for not he rode the high and gripped onto the side of the bed.

* * *

 

The Jamaica Plains people weren’t so bad, Dean guessed. They’d been feeding them well and putting up with them, not to mention all the Stimpaks doc had used up on Benny. The man was finally feeling a bit more at himself though, so at least there was that. He’d still need a day or so to rest but for the most part, the guy was practically healed.

 

He was just about to offer the rest of what was on his plate to Cas, but while Dean had been distracted by Krissy’s chestnut curls and adorable laugh, he’d up an disappeared. 

 

“I’ll be right back, sweetheart,” Dean said, sitting Krissy down on the ground beside him so he could get up. He moved around the large tent they had set up for meal times and caught a hint of that familiar coat slipping out the back. 

 

Dean jogged ahead to catch up with it but he stopped dead in his tracks when he got closer. 

 

Castiel was in his full gear, bag over his shoulder, he was... _ leaving _ . 

 

“Not even gonna say goodbye?” 

 

“What?” Castiel asked confusion etched on his face.  He glanced down at himself and realized what Dean must have thought, “Oh, I’m not...I’m not leaving.  Just need to head down the road a bit to contact our people. They’re bringing a huge caravan and I need to make sure they have enough cover fire,” Castiel quickly explained, holding up his long-range radio in his hand.

 

“Well, why didn’t you say something, Cas…” Dean asked, feeling an itch of annoyance under his skin. “Give me a second, I’ll grab my gear.” 

 

‘“I-uh...sure okay,” Castiel said rubbing the back of his neck.  He was still getting used the fact that Dean was a friend now, not a mere stranger they found on the road.  Castiel didn’t do friends but he was trying. If it meant getting extra jabs into his side from MacCready, he was willing to work on it.  

 

“Thank you...and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.  Habit,” he said softly.

 

“No problem, just wait for me...yeah?” Dean double checked that Castiel would stick around while he rushed back to the small building where they’d been sleeping. He double checked his ammo quickly and grabbed a couple clips from Benny’s bag, just to be sure, before finally hustling back over to the entry into the settlement where Cas told him he’d be waiting.

 

“Alright, let’s do this.” 

 

“C’mon, we don’t gotta go out far,” Castiel said leading the way out of the settlement.  It was quiet, not even the sounds of gunfire echoed through the air. It was nice, if not a bit unnerving.  They stayed pretty quiet as they walked, eyes scanning the trees and tall grass as they passed. 

 

“There,” he said pointing to a radio tower.  They made their way to it, Castiel slipping through the rusted chain link fence and holding it open for Dean to slip through.

 

“Thankfully this one is still working,” he muttered, snapping open one of the access panels, going to work on hooking his radio into the wires.

 

“This is a pretty neat setup, man.” Dean looked around them, taking in and cataloging, everything. He wondered if there was some way to extend the network they had built up, further, to make it easier for all settlements to contact one another. Still, he kept his mouth shut, didn’t wanna put Cas even more on edge and any talk like that would just wind up back on his hatred of the Minutemen and the brotherhood, which Dean could understand but it still hurt to hear it. 

 

“Mmhmm, I can...I can show you how if you need to contact your group?” Castiel asked biting on his bottom lip.  He still didn’t have a clue where Dean even came from, just where he was going. 

 

“This is Castiel Novak, Norhagen do you hear me?” Castiel said into the radio, turning the dials until he heard a buzzing noise.

 

_ “Loud and clear boss.  The team left this morning, six guards with three caravans worth of goods.  Do you need another team?”  _

 

Castiel did the math in his head, “Not sure, we’ll have to set up the turrets and see if we need more.  Will be sending them back with food, medicine. They got three generators out here,” he said. There was a crackle and then a humming noise.

 

_ “Got it.  Just let me know.  Our Caravan from Finch Farm should be here by tonight, I can send them your way to save time.” _

 

“Thanks Hannah, keep them there until you hear from me.  I’ll radio in by tomorrow afternoon and we’ll discuss it then,” Castiel said glancing over at Dean with a shy smile.

 

_ “Sure thing.  Careful out there Novak.  Nordhagen out.” _

 

Castiel clicked the radio off and let out a long breath.  Six guards should be plenty to protect the caravans. He and MacCready had trained their people relentlessly...Castiel had faith they could handle it.

 

He’d known, he guessed, somewhere in the back of his mind that Cas was in charge. It was easy to remember that with MacCready calling him boss all the time, but it was something else watching it in action. Benny called Dean chief occasionally too, but they both answered to Bobby. 

 

Not Castiel though, no...he was-. Well, he was impressive to say the least. 

 

“Man I don’t know how you do it, I can barely take care of my own ass, and Benny and Sammy too of course, but nothing like that. You’ve got an entire settlement to look after.” 

 

Castiel flushed a little as he unhooked the wires, “It’s um, it’s not just one.  There’s three, including mine. We’re finally in a place where I can place someone else in charge of each place but a few months ago...it was just me,” he said, exhaustion clear in his voice.  Being here in Jamaica Plains had helped him sleep a bit easier but was still only banking two or three hours a night.

 

“It’s hard but what we’re accomplishing...it’s worth it,” he said.

 

“Damn man,” Dean said, half in awe, half terrified. It’s not like he wanted anything to happen to Cas but with so many people depending on him, it could end up as a liability and he didn’t want that either. Still, he kept his mouth shut, though it was getting harder every day. He wanted so badly to tell him, tell him well..everything, but Dean wasn’t sure if he’d proved himself enough if Castiel would just hate him on principle even though they were starting to become friends. 

 

He wouldn’t kid himself into believing they’d be more, though he wanted it so badly he felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin if he didn’t get it. No, he’d get over it once they got back home and then, he’d figure out what the hell happened all those years ago and what they were going to do to keep it from happening again. 

 

“That’s impressive and you’re only what? A year or two older than me?” 

 

“I think so?  Hannah and the others made this monstrosity of what they called a cake to celebrate my twenty-second birthday,” he laughed leading the way back to the settlement.  The air between them was comfortable and Castiel found himself walking closer, the need to feel the other man’s heat against his arm a bit overwhelming. It made the pits of his gut swirl, something he hadn’t felt in a really long while.  Hell, he and MacCready hadn’t done anything in months and now with Benny in the picture, Castiel was pretty sure he was out. It sucked but he wouldn’t begrudge his friend any sort of happiness even if it was short lived.

 

Looking up at Dean, he just wished he could have that for himself as well.

 

“That’s awes-” 

 

Castiel’s head snapped east, eyes narrowing as he tried to figure out why his body suddenly went on high alert.  Then he heard it. Gun shots. It wasn’t anything new but they were coming in the direction of where his Caravans would be…

 

“Oh fu-” he and Dean swayed as the ground beneath them shook.  Someone had released a bomb of some sort. Without another word, he tore off in that direction, heartbeat thudding in his throat.  He didn’t have MacCready with him which sent his nerves into overdrive but he did have Dean who was now running just as hard as he was...right at his side.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates last weekend! So here's two! lol
> 
> There's some pretty heavy violence in this chapter.

* * *

 

 

“Hey...can you make sure she doesn’t put any of that extra stuff in the next one…” Benny asked, finally able to sit up in the bed without a groan.  He was healing quickly thanks to the Stimpaks but whatever the hell was being added was sticking to his insides and he felt weird.

 

“No problem, I’ll double check everything...Castiel can be kind of a dick sometimes but he was right, we don’t need you hooked on anything.”

 

MacCready answered, moving around the small station that was mostly his and Benny’s, or at least people had been treating it that way. The doc came in from time to time, they checked on things and rushed back out, but for the most part only Dean and Castiel disturbed them and even that didn’t happen too often.

 

“You up to eating yet?” he asked, ready to head over and get himself something, he might as well pick up a tray for Benny too.

 

“Mmhmm, wanna try walking too.  Now don’t give me that look darlin, I need to get out of this room for five seconds.  You can drop me off at the steps if I can’t make it any farther...please?” Benny asked, giving the other man his best pout.

 

“Let me talk to the doc, they have to sign off on it first and then we’ll talk.” MacCready shook his head at the stubborn mule of a man, but he knew if it were him, he’d be going stir crazy as well, so he wasn’t actually upset, just enjoyed teasing him a bit.

 

Once the doc okayed it, as he suspected they would, he came in with a begrudging smile and rolled his eyes.

 

“Don’t be so damn smug, it’s not pretty,” he lied, Benny looked damn handsome no matter what he was doing and they both knew it.

 

“Don’t lie, you know I’m damn pretty,” Benny chuckled, only wincing just a bit as MacCready got him steady on his feet.  The air outside smelled fantastic and he sighed, not realizing how badly he needed the sun on his skin until that moment.  They managed down the steps and he was good with walking the rest of the way to the mess hall.

 

“Thanks,” Benny said as lowered down on one of the outside picnic tables, his head tilted back a bit to get some more sun on his face.

 

“You’re welcome, I know bein’ cooped up was driving you crazy. I’d be the same way too, but you still gotta take it easy, I don’t want you re-injuring something.” MacCready said, slowly biting off a piece of some kind of meat, he didn’t ask anymore, and groaned.

 

“I know,” Benny answered simply, digging into his food as well.  Whatever it was tasted good and maybe it was because he was feeling great or the company he had next to him, he didn’t care.  He quickly glanced around before placing his hand on MacCready’s knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. He let his fingers settle there for a moment before hesitantly pulling his hand away.

 

The gesture itself wasn’t much, but...but it was enough.

 

MacCready slid closer to Benny, resting his left hand on the man’s thigh as they both continued to eat, mostly in silence. Once they finished, he tossed their trays into the small wash pile and helped Benny back to his feet. “C’mon, muscles...let’s get you back inside, wouldn’t want to give any of these kids a show,” he whispered, more eager than he’d been in a long time. He knew they couldn’t fuck, wouldn’t dare risk hurting Benny just for that, but he could find a way to bring them both off without causing any pain.

 

Benny grinned, hurrying the best he could back to the clinic.  Once inside Benny closed and locked the door, pushing MacCready up against it, “I’m going to kiss you now,” he said, grinning at how blown out MacCready’s eyes already were.  He leaned in and did just that, moaning at the feel of the other man’s lips on his. Finally! His arms wrapped around MacCready tightly and deepened the kiss, the hitch in his side not even bothering him once.

  


* * *

 

Castiel dodged into the tall grass as a rain of fire went over his head.  His caravans were under attack by the biggest group of raiders he’d seen in a long time.  Thankfully none of his people were hurt...yet. The bomb they heard earlier had been from their side.  Castiel clutched at his weapon as he chanced to peek up. He’d lost Dean somewhere in the fray and now panic was surging through him like acid.

 

“Get up,” he yelled at himself, forcing himself to stand and charge into the fight.  

 

“Boss!  There’s too many!” Eleanor cried out, a gash on her forehead making him flinch.  He quickly got out the cloth he carried in his back pocket and helped wipe away some of the blood.

 

“We got this!  C’mon!” he yelled raising up and firing into the runners trying to charge at them.  A fragmentation grenade landed near them and Castiel instantly went into action. He threw it right back.

 

“You’re insane!” Elenore laughed, shaking her head but Castiel could see the fire back in her eyes.  Castiel nodded and took off again, frantically looking for Dean in the chaos. He finally found him, fighting hand to hand with a bigger one.  

 

“Dean!” he cried, speeding up.  He had to watch as Dean got knocked down on his ass, a huge knife appearing in the raider’s hand as he knelt over Dean.  Everything splintered, his vision narrowing in and slowing down. Nothing else mattered at that moment, only getting to Dean in time.  He dropped everything, yanking out his own knife. He could see the wide set of fear in Dean’s eyes as he finally closed in, Castiel’s hand yanking back the raiders head as he viciously slit his throat.  He kicked the body away with a growl and sank to his knees next to Dean.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked almost desperately, hands shaking as he searched for any wounds.

 

“I’m fine, Cas-Cas, I’m fine...look at me,” Dean said, reaching out and bringing Castiel’s face up so that he could finally see those big blue eyes again. “I’m okay, I promise...asshole just suckerpunched me and I hadnt had time to figure a way out yet. No big deal.”

 

Castiel shook his head, fingers clenching into Dean’s coat.  There was fighting going all around him but he didn’t want to leave Dean’s side.  A cry erupted into the air and Castiel felt his blood grow cold, “I-I have...I have to go, I’ll be back,” he said leaning in touch his forehead against Dean’s before he was up and running back into the fray of the fight.  The cry he had heard was from one of the Brahmin and that chill that had surged through his blood was now boiling. He brought his weapon forward and began picking them off one by one.

 

Dean swallowed hard as he watched Castiel throw himself dead center into the battle. As much as he enjoyed the show, sitting idle, wasn’t a luxury he could afford. Dean picked up his weapon unstrapped his knife from his side with his empty hand and took off through the midst of gun flares and arrows. He moved through it all until he could push his back against Castiel’s and lean against the other man as a comfort to himself and his new friend.

 

“Let’s finish this off,” he said, firing out at the raiders moving closer, his impeccable aim leaving a small pile of bodies.

 

Castiel felt his chest hitch but regained focus.  His group was moving closer to the caravans, protecting the Brahmins while Dean and Castiel took out the remaining raiders who thought they still had a chance.  His weapon clicked and he cursed, launching his knife into a raider’s skull as he blindly felt for Dean’s sidearm. He got it out and shot two more.

 

Then it was quiet.  One, maybe two more pops and then quiet.  Castiel’s ears were ringing from all the gunfire and his blood rushing.  

 

“Boss!  You alright!” Balthazar shouted, running over to them.  Castiel stared at him until he realized he was covered in blood from that raider who attacked Dean.  He nodded numbly and grasped at Balthazar’s arm.

 

“Make sure everyone else is,” he said softly before slumping a little against Dean, thankfully the man was sturdy and managed to hold his weight.

 

“Damn, Cas...I haven’t seen _anyone_ fight the way you do. And I’ve seen a lot of sparring and target practice.” Dean sighed in relief now that the battle was over. Hopefully, all of Cas’ people came out okay, they did one hell of a job keeping them safe, that’s for sure.

 

Not to mention the number of raiders that just happen to be standing by...something wasn’t adding up. Sure, there were legions of them that occasionally gathered in large groups but it still tingled in his gut and Dean felt like maybe some piece of the puzzle was missing. Honestly, it could be nothing, but if there was a traitor among them, Dean hoped it wasn’t someone in Jamaica Plains.

 

“Thank you,” Castiel laughed softly, gently moving away so that Dean wouldn’t topple over.  He ran a hand down his face and grimaced. He was definitely going to need a bath tonight.

 

“Looks like we’ll need to double up the guards on the way home.  I have a feeling these are the same asshole we pushed out of Finch Farm all those months ago.  They saw how quickly the turrets went up and probably figured that’s what all this was,” Castiel said with a sigh.  He whistled loudly and made a circling motion with his hand. His group began picking through the bodies, scavenging any guns and bullets they could clean up and use later.

 

“I’m just glad we were out here,” he said chewing on his bottom lip.

 

“Yeah, everybody okay?” Dean asked though he figured Cas probably didn’t have any more information than he did. He hesitated a moment further but then rattled straight on into, “How bout you, you okay?”

 

“I think everyone else is...probably just rattled.  The Brahmin they shot they grazed its leg from what I can see so it’ll make it,” Castiel said and took in a deep breath, his eyes flicking to Dean’s before quickly looking away.

 

“I’m...I’m okay. I can’t get that image of that asshole leaning over you though,” he admitted and turned completely away from Dean as his face turned a crimson.

 

He couldn’t help himself, Dean pulled Cas closer, lifting his chin again until their eyes met. “Hey, I told you, I’m good...and that was, well...honestly? That was one of the hottest fucking things I’ve ever seen in my life.”

 

Castiel stared up at Dean as a slow smile tugged at his lips, that churning returning to his belly, “Really?” he asked.

 

“Really,” Dean promised, barely a whisper spoken into the short distance between their mouths. He leaned in, nearly taking what he wanted, what he _needed_.

 

Instead, he pulled away, heart pounding in his throat. He couldn’t do it, not until Cas knew the truth and then, well he’d probably lose the chance, but Dean just couldn’t bring himself to take things further than friendship while only sharing bits and pieces of himself.

 

Clearing his throat, he turned around, readjusted himself and said, “We should get back, follow them and make sure there’s no more trouble.”

 

Castiel swallowed hard and nodded, words not forming in his head well enough for him to speak.  He got his rifle back around him and headed towards his group, checking each of them for himself before calling out for them all to move out.

* * *

 

Benny chuckled softly, his arms still clutching a twitching version of MacCready close to his chest.  He’d promised he wouldn’t exert himself but there was no way he was going to let the man get on his knees and not repay the favor.  He tilted MacCready’s head to the side and sucked on a patch of skin, the sweat lingering there almost sweet on his tongue.

 

“Aren’t ya glad I told you to remove your damn pants?” Benny snickered stroking him until the man was batting his hand away.

 

“You’ve had one or two good ideas, don’t get cocky,” MacCready teased, though it barely came out in a fully formed sentence with how much he was panting and trying to catch his breath. “Fuck that was amazing though, can’t wait to have a real go at you.”

 

“Soon darlin,” he grinned, reaching around to get handfuls of MacCready’s ass.  It was a shame that such a nice part of the man’s body was covered up by so many layers.  He pulled MacCready in for another deep kiss when there was a shout from outside.

 

“Sit tight,” he said, half jumping off the bed on his partially wobbly legs. He regretted that immediately but moved forward to grab his pants and underwear from the floor. He dragged them up his legs and fastened his belt, before peaking through the small window to see Castiel and Dean sauntering through town, Cas’ front entirely covered in blood.

 

“Shit, be right back.”

 

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, rushing outside to get a better look at his friend and leader.

 

Castiel eyed MacCready and shook his head a bit.  There was a sizeable mark on the side of his neck, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what he and Benny had been up to.  He was happy for his friend but he couldn't help the surge of annoyance flaring up.

 

“Nice of you to notice,” he grumbled and closed his eyes.  It was a knee-jerk reaction and he regretted it immediately.  It wasn’t like he had told MacCready he was leaving...but usually he never had to.

 

“Yes, I’m fine.  I need to wash up,” he said quickly before turning to first find Meg and then get that bath.

 

“What happened out there?”

 

“There were dozens of raiders out there...waiting. I dunno man, but it felt weird. Cas said it was normal though, so I guess...more of the same for you. Got hairy for a bit but I think everyone made it out okay, you’d have to talk to some of your people to be sure though.” Dean shook his head, he didn’t know if it was par for the course for them or if Castiel just didn’t want him worrying, or knowing anything, either way…

 

“I’mma go grab something to eat, might clean up a bit myself if they’ve got enough water. I’ll see ya’ in a bit though, make sure Benny’s got some pants on, will ya?”

 

“Not making any promises, Dean.”

 

MacCready backtracked into the small building that he and Benny had claimed, smiling up at the man. “Dean and Castiel are fine, looks like everyone’s okay actually, just a little bloody.”

 

Benny frowned, “How many times do you guys get attacked?” he asked, slowly reaching down to yank on his pants.  Maybe he had overdone it a little but hell, he had a hot guy squirming in his lap, like he was gonna stop cause his side hurt?  Nah.

 

He sat back down on the bed with a loud oompf and shoved his feet back into his shoes.

 

“Pretty regularly, but it’s nothin’ we can’t handle.” MacCready didn’t know exactly what Benny was hinting at, if anything, but he found himself a little on edge from the tone in his voice. He forced himself to relax a bit, figuring he was probably making a bigger deal out of it than necessary, he leaned back on the bed. “Why, you offerin’ to tag along just to defend my honor, muscles?”

 

“I think you two do just fine on your own, just wonderin if these assholes are targeting you specifically you know?” Benny asked with a shrug.  Dean was okay but Benny still needed to see it with his own eyes.

 

“C’mon, help me get back outside.  I’m tired of feelin like a damn invalid,” he said, shuffling towards the door.  The more he moved the better he felt he just had to be careful to not twist too quickly.

 

MacCready rushed forward, putting Benny’s large arm around his shoulder to give him a little help as they went down the stairs. “Honestly, I don’t know what they’re doing, but it makes sense that they’d follow us, with the supplies we bring in and stuff. A score like that could last them a while…”

 

“More than likely,  I’ll tell ya one thing, the stories they tell back at home pales in comparison,” Benny scoffed, letting MacCready help him outside.

 

* * *

  


Castiel dragged his fingers through his wet hair, grateful to have the last few days of dust and now blood off of him.  He got dressed in some of the spare clothing he always brought with him and sighed, needing to get back outside to help get the turrets and guard towers built.  He noticed Dean standing off to the side and bit his lip, debating for a split second before finding himself heading over to the guy.

 

“Bath is free if you need it,” Castiel said.

 

“Yeah,-actually, could you uh, could you give me a second...to just talk in there?” Dean asked while the nerves in his belly grew even more erratic. He knew it could be a bad idea, but Cas liked him, even if only a little, maybe that would be enough to...Hell, even Dean wasn't sure what he wanted, to sway him a bit maybe?

 

Castiel quirked up a brow and nodded.  This had to be about what had almost happened while they were on the road.  It had to be. He sighed softly and lead the way to the bath house, closing the door behind Dean before turning to him, “Look Dean, I-”

 

“No Cas, please...just hear me out,” Dean said, which earned him an eventual nod from Castiel so he continued. “Look, I-I wanted to, I wanted it so bad that I’d probably trade my goddamn oxygen for just one kiss but-but I couldn’t, at least not until you know the truth.”

 

Dean swallowed, his heart pounding so hard against his ribs that he felt it was going to escape right out of his chest. “Look, I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear but Cas...Benny and I, we’re from Sanctuary Hills...we’re Minutemen.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little chapter...

* * *

 

 

_Benny and I, we’re from Sanctuary Hills...we’re Minutemen._

 

Castiel snorted out a laugh, “What?” he stared up into Dean’s face for a very, very long time before what he realized what he saw was the truth.  They were only standing a few inches from each other and Castiel shoved him away hard, “What?!” he screeched, breathing becoming erratic.

“You...you can’t...no.  Not you...fuck!” Castiel shouted, hands coming up to cover his face.  This couldn’t be happening. In the back of his mind, he knew something was off, that they didn’t have the whole story but he refused it, didn’t want to accept it.  His blood was on fire and he couldn’t breathe, he shoved his way out of the bathhouse needing to hide away to get his thoughts in order. 

The second he turned the corner his rage grew tenfold.  Benny and his best friend were standing so close, Castiel could tell they were trying to touch indiscreetly and he couldn't stand it.  He could hear his name being called out from behind him but all he could focus on was what right in front of him. 

The moment he got within arms reach he yanked MacCready behind him and raised his handgun to level with Benny’s face, making the bigger man stagger back.

“Stay the fuck away from him,” Castiel growled out.

“Whoa, hey...what the hell man!” Benny said, his heart jumping into this throat.

“Castiel, what the hell is your problem,” MacCready said, pushing himself between the barrel of his best friend’s gun and Benny’s confused face. 

“He’s a fucking Minuteman RJ,” Castiel seethed, not taking his eyes off Benny.  There was a movement to his right and he barely took a glance to see that it was Dean.  When MacCready said absolutely nothing it was like a steel rod going straight through his back and chest.  His hand wavered and looked at his friend, the man he trusted at his back. 

“You...you knew...you knew didn’t you?” Castiel asked, his throat closing up and eyes burning so badly he knew he was going to cry but he held on to the last shred of dignity he had left, “And you still fucked him…” 

“Castiel, if you’d get your head out of your ass you could see that what happened to you, to  _ us _ , that isn’t on Benny or Dean. It was ten years ago-” he stopped talking because the gun that was originally pointed at Benny had been turned to onto him. 

“Cas-” Dean started, but was quickly cut off by the cold, lifeless glare in Castiel’s eyes. 

“My name is Castiel, not Cas!” Castiel bellowed and then turned back to MacCready, his heart splintering with every beat, “I hope he was worth it.  I no longer require your services MacCready, here, I’m sure this is the amount that I owe,” he said chucking a bag full of caps hard against MacCready’s chest, “You can fucking leave with them.”  

Behind them, the group that had come from Nordhagen was moving in slowly, weapons drawn and steadily pointed at Dean, Benny and now even MacCready.  The people of Jamaica Plains, who were now allied to Castiel, were staring hard at them as if they were a threat. Castiel didn’t know what to think or believe, all he did understand was the betrayal ripping him apart at the seams.

“You should probably just go, now,” Meg demanded, crossing her arms.

MacCready squared his jaw and gave Castiel a stern look. “Sure thing, boss...and when you’re done punishing yourself for not being a goddamn robot, you’ll know where to find me.” 

“C’mon, Ben...let’s get out of here, I’ll find somewhere to stop along the way where you can rest up a bit, we’ll go back to The Castle if we have to,” Dean said quietly, pulling at his friend’s arm until they turned toward the exit. 

Benny wanted to say something, anything alleviate the situation but Castiel looked ready to pull the trigger.  He’d never seen that look of cold anger before on anyone and it was terrifying. At least they were able to grab their stuff before being literally pushed out of Jamaica Plains.

Castiel watched them go, his heart snapping away piece by piece with each step they took.  How could MacCready justify this? How could the one person Castiel had counted on and trusted turn his back so quickly? And Dean?  Castiel shook his head and bit back a sob. He was alone. Again. 

“Boss…”

“I’m fine Inias, everyone get back to work,” he said, turning to storm back into the house that they had been staying at.  Only when he was safely locked away in the tiny attic did he finally let himself surrender into his grief.

* * *

The piercing quiet around them set bitter chills under his skin, Dean was used to the companionable silence as he traveled with Benny, or even idle chit-chat when the area was clear but the emotions choking him out weren’t only his and eventually, he broke. 

They were just a couple of miles outside of the city when Dean snapped his head toward MacCready and said,  _ “What?” _

“You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut, could you?” 

“He needed to know, or would you rather I waited until after I fucked him...bet that would have gone over better.” 

“No, I’d rather you have kept it in your pants  _ and _ kept your damn mouth shut, but I guess that just makes me a fucking dreamer.” 

“Like you’re one to tal-,” Dean cut himself off because of the desperate look in Benny’s eyes. He hated to see his best friend so damn vulnerable but he understood, his own heart felt like it had been ripped straight out of his chest. If he could save Benny that pain, he would.

Forcing a bit of calm into his voice, Dean turned back to MacCready, “Look, we were bound to break eventually, I wanted him to know the score before he did something he regretted, so go ahead and shoot me if it'll make you feel better.” 

MacCready rolled his eyes and groaned loudly as he threw his hands out in frustration, “I could have talked to him!  It could have gone completely different..” 

“You mean you could have saved your own ass,” Dean said, Benny started to cut him off but he kept going. “Maybe, but he still would have run us out of town...so if that’s all you care about, might as well start walking back on your knees now.” 

“You son of a bitch!  Castiel is my friend!” 

“Alright, knock it off both of you!” Benny shouted, gimping to stand between them, “Dean, look maybe he’s right but we can’t change any of that right now.  There ain’t anything we can do at this point, I hate that it went down like that but Castiel wasn’t gonna listen to nobody,” Benny said sighing heavily. He was tired but refused to sit, if he did he may not get back up.  

MacCready wanted to argue, but Benny looked as if he was going to fall over already. 

“Doesn’t matter does it,” Dean said toward MacCready, that far off look in his eyes told him everything he needed to know. They guy was taking off and leaving Benny in the dust behind him. His best friend might be a beast of a guy when you looked at him; big sharp muscles and lines, but he was one of the softest-hearted people Dean had ever met and he was about to get ripped to shreds. “You’re leavin’ all the same.” 

There was a part of him, however small, that wished they’d never laid eyes on the pair. 

MacCready’s head snapped up to meet Dean’s eyes, so full of judgement, of anger. 

Well, it was probably justified, but it couldn’t be helped. 

Benny frowned, looking between the two of them before he finally saw what Dean had seen moments ago.  His eyes closed and he sighed, head tilting back. The offer to invite him back to Sanctuary Hills tasted stale on his tongue and those particular words never got past his lips.  Instead, he just shook his head and said nothing.

“Its best this way, all I am-I’m just a hired gun anyway,” MacCready said, shaking his head and pulling his bag back over his shoulder. “Good Neighbor is the only place I’ve ever belonged.” 

“No, that isn’t the only place you belong dammit,” Benny growled out, “You and Castiel are the most stubborn assholes I have ever met.  It won’t matter what I say to you or if I ask ya to stay, you’re gonna take off.” Benny wished he was wrong but that steady look in MacCready’s face was pretty damn telling.

“Whatever man,” he said, ignoring the pain in his side he took off in the direction of home.  He was going slow, Dean could catch up.

“Just so you know, I-We’re looking into what happened to Cas’ people...I wanna find out just as much as he does, maybe more, because he’s not  _ actually _ looking to find out what happened. He’s convinced himself he already knows,” Dean grunted a bit pulling his own bag back up. 

“Oh, and if I see you again, I’m going to punch you in the face...Benny deserves better.” 

Dean turned before MacCready could say anything else and jogged to catch up with his best friend. “C’mon, let’s find some place for you to lay down Ben...I know it’s only a few more hours home but you’ve got to get some rest. You look like a stiff breeze could knock you over.” 

Benny sighed heavily, “Just...lets get as far away as we can okay?” he asked, keeping his eyes down.  It was insane to have let himself get that attached to someone he’d only known a total of a few days.  But he’d always fallen hard and fast,  _ always _ ending up in some kind of heartache.  

“I’ll be okay brother,” Benny said clapping Dean on the shoulder, “What about you?”

Dean shrugged, “You know me, I’ll be fine the moment we get home.” 


	9. Chapter 9

Outside the turrets were going up without a hitch.  The sounds of them whirring to life and beeping when someone or something would pass their censors.  Four new guards towers were built along the main points of entry into the settlement and now walls with barbed wire and old rubber tires were going up as well.  After the little scene with him, Dean, Benny, and MacCready, Meg had deemed it necessary. Castiel had to agree. Thankfully he’d planned for it and all that they would need was wood, which was easily accessible in the dense woods behind the settlement.

 

Inside, Castiel was crumbling.  For the past few years, he’d had MacCready at his side.  His only friend and now he was gone. Hadn’t even tried to stay, just once again accused Castiel of being cold...a robot and left with them.  It hurt so badly, his chest burned, his eyes felt like sandpaper...he hadn’t felt like this since he was a child. If only it had been just about losing his only friend but Dean had been thrown into the mix as well.  Castiel never wanted to be tied down to someone. To take on that kind of responsibility just seemed dangerous to him. Not knowing if he was going to make it across the Commonwealth all the time...it just didn’t sit well with him knowing he could leave a lover...or a  _ husband _ behind.  

 

When he looked at Dean...hell when the man was just in the same vicinity as he was, Castiel imagined it all.  Them getting together, loving each other, it just seemed so possible in Castiel’s mind that it frightened him.  He’d never had that kind of hope before. Then to hear those words….

 

_ “Benny and I...we’re Minutemen.” _

 

Dean may as well have ripped his heart out and stomped on it.  What little there was left of it anyway. The remaining bits were shattered, splintered within his chest.  It was the worst he’d felt since that night he fled from Sommerville with the remaining survivors of his destroyed settlement.

 

It was a weakness he couldn’t afford.  Not now. He clutched at the hard plastic in his hand and swallowed down the swirl of nausea.  The nurse who had been helping Benny had given Castiel something. They didn’t want to but Castiel had begged.  And he never begged for anything in his life.

 

He just wanted the pain to stop.  The explanation of the chem was lost on deaf ears, the only thing he cared about was the fact that it would make him numb.  He’d already used up three of them, the drug coating his insides like a warm blanket. When it wore off though, he itched and wanted to throw up.  His hands shook as he popped off the top of the inhaler, bringing it up to his lips with trembling fingers. Castiel inhaled the chem with a sharp breath, the numbing taking effect instantly.  He leaned his head back until he connected with the wall and hummed, his hand becoming lax and the inhaler falling to the floor with a dull thud. 

 

Castiel spent the next day and a half locked up in the attic high.  The nurse seemed a little concerned when he kept coming to them for more but kept handing them over regardless.  He was just about to take his hit for the afternoon when the door to the attic opened, revealing Meg.  She didn’t look happy as she knelt down next to him, her hands gently grabbing at the inhaler.

 

“No Castiel,” she whispered.  Castiel glared at her, trying to jerk his hands away but she was strong...or maybe he’d just become weak.

 

“I’m sorry kiddo, but you can’t waste away like this,” she said, prying the inhaler out of his grip.  Castiel felt the onslaught of tears again and shook his head viciously, trying to grab at the chem.

 

“I n-need it…”

 

“No.  No you don’t.  What you need is out there Castiel.  You need to get up, put your big boy pants on and be the leader that everyone is counting on.  Not wasting away because of some boy-”

 

“Shut the hell up, you have no idea what you’re talking about,” Castiel growled, his vision suddenly spinning.  It took way too long to realize she had slapped him across the face. When he looked back at her he flinched. Her usual warm brown eyes were hard, her mouth set in a grimace.

 

“You have no fucking clue what I’ve been through Castiel.  Just because I’m here in this well-off settlement doesn’t mean shit.  I lost  _ everything _ .  My husband Luc, my daughter Ruby.  I’m alone, just like you,” she hissed.  Guilt tore through Castiel like a sharp wire, his mouth opening to begin apologizing but was quickly silenced.

 

“I don’t want your apologies, your pity or even your sympathies...what I want, is for you to get the fuck out of this attic and get to work.  We are still here Castiel. We’re still alive. We owe it to the ones we lost to keep fighting for every breath we take. This...this right here, this is only going to make the pain worse each time the high ends.  Do you really think the family that you lost would be happy right now if they saw you like this?” Meg said. Castiel shook his head, his parents would have been incredibly upset and disappointed in him. Especially his mother.  He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, the faces of every single one of the ones he lost slowly flitting through his mind, strengthening him like they always did.

 

There was a hand in his and he squeezed it back before allowing himself to smile.  Meg grinned back and nodded, yanking him to his feet.

 

“Let’s go then.”

 

* * *

  
  


Dean was grateful for the late hour as they entered Sanctuary Hills. There could sometimes be small groups waiting for people to come back, making a big deal out of it. The last thing he felt like doing was putting on a smile and partying with friends, or even family. 

 

He felt empty inside, hollowed out like it was radiation that had eaten him up and not Castiel’s cold dismissal. Benny seemed to be nursing something similar himself and it had been sad and quiet between them those last few hours on the road. 

 

Most of the town seemed to be asleep but somehow he just knew the one person he needed to talk to, wouldn’t be. 

 

“Go on home, rest up...or go see Pam, whatever you need to do but I’mma go talk to Uncle Bobby,” Dean said softly, even though he knew Benny would argue. He just shook his head. “Seriously man, you need to take care of yourself, get back to 100% and I’ll fill you in, promise.” 

 

Benny nodded, giving Dean a tired smile before heading off to the house.  In the morning he’d see their doctor, maybe one last Stimpak and he’d be healed up, ready to get back into training.  He needed to get his mind off of the past few days, maybe he could even lead the training a bit too. Sighing heavily he fell onto one of the beds that were downstairs instead.

 

Dean made his way towards Bobby’s cabin up at the back corner of the settlement. He needed to talk to the man like an itch under his skin, find out what he knew about what had happened, and how they were going to...well they couldn’t fix it exactly, but they could damn sure make sure it didn’t happen to anyone else’s family the way it did to Cas’ parents, brothers and sisters, friends...the world didn’t need to turn anyone that cold, ever again.

 

Bobby placed his coffee cup on the counter, his eyes tracing over the list of supplies they would need to expand the walls.  Mary wanted a bigger plot for the new set of seeds they scored. Not to mention a new building to begin the manufacturing of Rad-Away.  Hancock had been in a giving mood and not only gave him the name of his supplier but also the name of someone who knew how to make it. 

 

Bobby grabbed up the bottle of Rot Gut, pouring it into his coffee.  The stuff was nasty but it helped him sleep on nights like this where he spent most of it pouring over maps and pacing the house.  He’d just brought the cup up to his lips, taking a sip when there was a soft knock on his front door. 

 

“Yeah,” he called out, looking up to see Dean opening the door.  Relief swam through him and he quickly placed the cup down to pull the kid into a hug, “You were beginning to worry me and your momma.”

 

Dean tried to smile but he just wasn’t feeling it, “Sorry to say, me showing up isn’t really gonna put you at ease old man, we need to have a chat…”

 

He proceeded to fill Bobby in on everything that had happened while he and Benny were gone, leaving out only the bits about both of them getting a swift kick in the chest as far as their hearts were concerned. That didn’t make a damn bit of difference to the big picture and Dean wasn’t going to let Bobby railroad him because he’d let himself get too deep. 

 

Bobby frowned, listening intently to Dean’s story about some kid they found out on the road.  He remembered the place sure but something wasn’t matching up, “Dean...I don’t...look I was part of the team that went down to Sommerville.  We hadn’t heard anything from them in weeks. When we got there, there was no one there. It looked as if they picked up and left. As if they hadn’t been there at all,” Bobby said softly, not wanting to upset the kid.  

 

_ “They didn’t just leave, Bobbly!” _ Dean’s voice rising higher than he usually let it when talking to his mentor, uncle, surrogate father. Bobby had been a parent to him and Sam for years and he was always kind and respectful, but it was churning in his gut. He knew enough of Castiel to know it wasn’t a lie, he’d seen enough of the files at Castle to know something else was going on, and what Charlie said about The Institute, it seemed like something they could get away with.

 

“There were no bodies Dean.  If they had been attacked then someone came in afterward and did one hell of a cleanup,” Bobby muttered, his fingers gripping the counter.  Whoever did this not only cleaned up...but meticulously planned it all as well? From taking out the two other settlements...Bobby’s heart thudded in his chest.  Something was beginning to add up in his mind and he was not liking where it was going. At all. He grabbed up the Rot Gut and instead of pouring it into his cup, just took several gulps from the bottle instead.

 

“I don’t care what the place looked like Bobby, I’m telling you right now...they were slaughtered. They were left defenseless by minutemen and the brotherhood, and then they were slaughtered.” Dean’s voice went a bit weak at the end, his mind giving him pictures of Cas as he’d told the story, the way his cold eyes seemed to shine with light and tears as he relieved those moments. 

 

“Now there’s a whole handful of colonies that hate us, that hate our people for not helping when we should have, there have to be answers...somewhere.” 

 

“We would have never left them if we had gotten any kind of sign they were in trouble Dean.  There were no radio calls, nothing. All three of those settlements had been cleared out,” Bobby argued and took in a deep breath.

 

“Look, I may...I may have an idea of what could have happened.  But it ain’t gonna make this whole situation any better,” he said and handed the bottle to Dean with a raised brow.

 

“I don’t think anything’s gonna make it better, Bobby...I just wanna understand. I want to have some kind of answer for what happened then and what’s happening now,” Dean said, his frown deepened as he thought about the attacks on Cas’ supply caravans. They were strategic, organized, unlike most groups of raiders. “There’s still...things that don’t add up, any explanation is a good one as far as I’m concerned, at least for now.”

 

Bobby nodded, moving to sit down on his old couch.  May as well get comfortable. 

 

“A few years before I was stationed here at The Sanctuary I heard of some guy that was a man in the Minutemen who didn’t like to play by our rules.  Never met the prick myself but he ended up getting himself exiled when he practically tortured someone for information.  None of us understood what he was doing or what his end game was.  Anyway, he was the one who had recruited those two settlements near Sommerville, so they knew him.  Trusted him. If he ended up taking them out from the inside, then there would have been no time to get the grenades out or radio in that they needed aid,” Bobby explained.

 

“Well if that’s the case, who’s to say he hasn’t done it again...and why? He just killed them all, he wasn’t recruiting or gather supplies from what I heard, just senseless slaughter…” Dean said, mostly to himself, though he knew Bobby was listening. “There’s got to be something we’re missing.”

 

“Samuel Campbell was a ruthless son of a bitch, he could have done it just out spite or fucking revenge for all I know,” Bobby explained, “To start a wave of mistrust between us and the settlements we promised to protect.”

 

“Wait, did you say, Samuel Campbell? That-it sounds familiar.” He was confused but tried hard to remember where he’d heard it before. The warm, honeyed sound of his mother’s voice filtering into his mind. “Mom-I think, Mom’s mentioned him before...maybe she knew him?” 

 

“That I don’t know kiddo.  Your mom was pretty damn tight-lipped about what happened before she got here.  She warned us about John and you know how that ended.  I only knew Samuel by his reputation and the shit that he pulled.  One thing I do know for sure is that Samuel raised up a mighty fuss when they dragged him out of The Castle,” Bobby sighed, “Look kiddo, I get that it's not good enough.  I don't have all the answers and I agree with you that there is something dirty goin on.  More than I can even fathom at this rate.  But you and I gotta get some rest.  We can finish this discussion tomorrow.” 

 

“Yeah, I guess I’d better. I feel dead on my feet. But first thing tomorrow morning, I’m askin’ mom what she knows about Samuel Campbell…” He answered, giving the old man a pat on the shoulder as he stood. “Whatever it takes, I’m gonna get to the bottom of this Bobby.” 

 

* * *

  
  


The smell of fried meat and warm coffee pulled Dean out of bed a little earlier than he’d have liked, but it felt good to be home again. It gave him a sense of normalcy after everything that had happened with Cas, and between Benny and MacCready. He was back to his everyday life and while there was a little, small part of him that was restless and itched to leave again, he was grateful that Sammy was just a thin wall away and his mom was cooking for him and taking care of him like he was still a kid.

 

He guessed some things would never change. 

 

Dean stepped into the small kitchen area, or at least as much of a kitchen as anyone had, and snagged a piece of bread and kissed his mother on the cheek. “Thanks, missed you.” 

 

Mary pulled Dean close and hugged him, not caring that the bread got ruined.  She had been a complete mess with her son out there in the Commonwealth and even worse when he hadn’t come back on time.  She knew delays could happen but she didn’t have to like it.

 

“I missed you too honey,” she said softly, turning to fill a plate up for her son.

 

Dean settled in a bit, waited for Sam to join them at the table before his mind flipped back to the night before, the gaping wound in his chest notwithstanding. He still needed answers, needed to figure out what the hell was going on, and at that particular moment, his mom was their only lead. “Samuel Campbell...where’ve I heard that name before?” 

 

There was a loud clatter and Mary quickly picked up the spoon she had been stirring the pot with.  She hadn’t heard that name in years and for good reason. Why and  _ where _ the hell had her son learned that?  

 

“He’s uh...he’s none of your concern Dean, would you like some more?” Mary asked gesturing to Dean’s plate. 

 

Suddenly the food in his stomach made him uneasy. His mother was hiding something and he didn’t like it. Dean sat his fork down on the table and looked up into her soft grey-blue eyes. “No, no I don’t think I do...who’s Samuel Campbell, mom?”

 

“He’s no one you need to know about Dean.  He was a horrid man and be thankful you never had to meet him,” Mary said moving away from Dean to clean up.  When her son continued to stare at her she sighed heavily.

 

“Samuel Campbell...he’s your grandfather Dean.  My father,” she said gripping the towel in her hands tight until her arms shook.

 

“No-no no no,” Dean said, as the dread curdling his breakfast grew even higher. 

 

“Goddamnit!” he said, pounding his fist onto the table, half splintering it. He didn’t ask anything else, just moved to put his boots on and went to find his best friend. Together they’d break the news to Bobby, and maybe, if he was lucky, he’d have a stiff drink in his hand before noon. 

* * *

 

There was a slam from the door and Benny shot up, gun in hand and pointed at the door.  It was something he hadn't ever done before but spending nearly a week on the road made him a little uneasy.   When he saw Dean’s face he calmed immediately but stiffened at how panic-stricken his best friend was.  The hairs on the back of his neck instantly stood up and he scooted over on his bed for Dean to plop down on.

 

“Dean...hey...what the hell happened?” Benny asked groggily, struggling to get the sleep from his eyes.

 

Dean's hands were shaking almost violently, he was a complete wreck. He knew he had to look like some kind of crazy person but he couldn’t help it. The mere thought that it was his own blood who’d-no, no he couldn’t…

 

Nausea hit him quickly and he had to swallow to keep himself from throwing up. He was still half bent over in the small space where Benny stayed, trying to breathe and keep his breakfast down. The words came out between his short, labored breaths but he finally said it. “I-think I might know who killed Cas’ family…” 

 

“What?  Shit,” Benny grumbled, quickly moved Dean over to sit down on the cot as he hurried over to the cooler they kept some purified water in.  He got Dean to drink some before he knelt down on the floor in front of his friend, “What do you mean you know who? I thought we were assuming it was those damn synths that did it?”

 

“It was-he’s my-…” Dean stopped, he felt completely unable to say it, even though he knew he had to go through with it, had to finish the thought. It was just that all the things Castiel had said about Minutemen, about the Brotherhood, they were based on what his own flesh and blood had done to the man, to all those people...whole settlements just wiped out, as if they’d never existed in the first place. “My grandfather.” 

 

Benny’s mouth opened and nothing came out.  And what could he even say to that? He fell back on his ass with a thud and shook his head, “Who is he?”

 

“Last night, Bobby said they had someone go rogue, a member of the Minutemen, said he’d never met the man but if anyone could have pulled off the large-scale attack and clean up like we're talkin about, said it was him,” Dean started, unable to stop once he got going.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ...Castiel’s spent nearly his entire life hating the wrong people.  I know we just got back but we gotta go find him...somethin,” Benny sighed.

 

“Well...maybe not  _ all  _ the wrong people. It was my damn kin that left him orphaned and alone, Benny.” Dean said, ignoring the look his best friend gave him. He knew Benny would tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he wasn’t responsible for some shit pulled by a man he never met but Dean knew better. In his gut, he just, he just  _ knew _ it. 

 

“Let’s go see Bobby, he should know the truth.” 

 

Benny agreed and quickly got his shoes back on.  He was still wearing yesterday's clothes but didn't care.  Thankfully the hitch in his sides was all but a dull thud, easy to ignore as he had to chase after Dean towards Bobby’s house.  The old man wasn’t there so they re-routed, going to the main house in the middle of their settlement. The house was bustling with people but they managed to push their way into the office where Bobby was listening intently to the radio.

 

“Rufus, say that again?” Bobby growled out.

 

“ _ I said, there’s a huge caravan moving along the roads.  Headin our way from what our scouts are sayin. Looks like they got a whole mess of firepower with them too.” _

 

“Get the patrol out there and lock up The Castle the best you can, you may have to engage with them Rufus,” Bobby said.

 

“Fuck-,” Dean said, having heard just the end of it was enough. “No, Bobby-no, that’s-they’re not a threat...don’t,-” He started, his insides swirling violently all over again.  The caravan had to be Castiel's.  there was no one else out in the Commonwealth traveling with a group that large.  That and Dean knew they were trying to get home, the work in Jamaica Plains more than likely already finished.  The mere thought that Cas would be under attack from The Castle of all places set every fabric of his being on edge. 

 

“Dean what-”

 

“ _ What was that Singer?” _

 

“Rufus hold on.  Dean what the hell boy!” Bobby demanded, putting the radio down, “Don’t you two idjits know how to knock?”

 

“Bobby just wait, let Dean explain,” Benny said, his breathing just as hard as Dean’s.  He too came to the same conclusion that it was Castiel's group.  If they had hesitated only but a moment...he really didn’t want to think about what could have happened.  He wasn’t even sure at this point who could win.

 

“It’s not an attack, just please, trust me…” 

 

Bobby just stared at the two of them waiting for an actual explanation, “Well?”

 

“Bobby look, Castiel is just heading home from a settlement he just helped with their defenses.  They have to travel in the same direction as The Castle to get home. Dean’s right, he’s not going to attack, he’s just trying to get home.  Please, tell Rufus to stand down,” Benny asked.

 

“Boys, if this Castiel of yours is building up a fight against us…”

 

“No, look there’s a lot goin on that none of us are real clear on.  Including Castiel. He’s been misled for nearly ten years, if you can give us a chance we can talk to him, please stand down,” Benny asked one more time.  

 

Bobby glanced over at Dean and didn’t like how pale the kid had gotten.  It seemed like there was a lot more to this than just meeting up with a stranger on the road.  He let it go though. His trust in the two boys was still pretty damn strong. He picked up the radio and sighed, “Rufus stand down.”

 

_ “You want me to do what now?” _

 

“Stand down goddammit.  If they attack first, then and only then do you engage but only to defend The Castle, you hear me?”

 

_ “Yeah, yeah, loud and clear Bobby.” _

 

“Now, you better explain,” Bobby demanded.

 

Dean sighed in relief, wishing for about the dozenth time in just the last hour that he had something stronger than water to drink. Bobby seemed to realize just what he needed because the man poured him something and Dean swallowed it quickly.  The taste of the thick brown liquid instantly making him cringe.

 

"What the hell is that?" Dean asked, gasping a little.

 

"Rot Gut.  Nasty shit but it does the trick.  Explain why I just told Rufus to stand down against a heavy artillery caravan?" Bobby growled out.

 

Dean took in a deep breath,  taking a seat across from Bobby’s desk he said, “So here’s the thing about Cas...He’s one of the only survivors from the Sommervile attack, and I might be, just a little bit, in love with him.”

 

Bobby spat out his own drink while Benny choked on a laugh, “Holy shit son.  I mean...I think that’s great but you don’t gotta fall for the first person you see out these walls,” Bobby teased.

 

“No, no you don’t get it, Bobby.  Cas is.. _ the _ guy I was telling you about last night, and that’s not all...because my life wasn’t fucked up enough, guess who Samuel Campbell is…” Dean started, the bitterness in his tone evident. “My grandfather.” 

 

Bobby sunk down in the other chair across from Dean, eyes never once leaving Dean’s, “Oh balls,” he grunted, dragging a hand down his face, "I sent you out to get  _supplies_ ," he grumbled as he took another drink.  A simple supply run...something to get his boys' feets wet and now this was all falling down on his lap.  Damn, he was too old for this shit.  The whole situation had flipped and took a very strange and dangerous turn. 

 

“What do you boys want from me?” Bobby asked.

 

“He probably doesn’t ever wanna see me again but we need to get out there, go talk to him...maybe drop by Good Neighbor to pick something up first,” Dean said, a small smile pulling at the edge of his mouth. It was still a long shot in hell that Cas wouldn’t want to shoot him rather than look at him, but...whatever it took, he had to try. “We just need supplies, and Rufus not killing anyone, which you’ve kinda already taken care of… and we’d like to have your permission but honestly, we’ll probably go either way.” 

 

“I knew that was comin.  Mary ain’t gonna like this but I’ll explain it to her.  Take whatever you need,” Bobby said and then stilled, “Wait, why in the hell do you need to go to Good Neighbor?”

 

Benny blushed, rubbing the back of his neck, “That’s another long story that we’ll definitely talk about later,” he said.  Bobby narrowed his eyes a bit and then shook his head.

 

“Damn idjits, when you get there, anyone gives you problems you tell ‘em Singer sent you.  Hancock’s a pretty reasonable guy, just follow his rules and you’ll be fine. Be safe out there.”

* * *

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any errors in this chapter, I was in a rush to post it. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

 

 

“You really think this is a good idea?  Castiel wanted to shoot all three of us in the face.  Don’t get me wrong, I wanna fix this and get the truth to the poor guy but I’d like to still be breathing once this is over,” Benny said hurrying next to Dean’s side.  They’d been walking for a while now, following Dean’s PipBoy to get to Good Neighbor. Bobby had warned them of the dangers waiting for them. They had to walk through Boston Common to get to the worn down town.  Raiders, mutants and ferrals could be waiting around every corner.

 

“No, it’s a terrible idea...but we’re doing it anyway, well I am...feel free to turn around if you want,” he said, though Dean knew Benny wouldn't dare. It wasn’t just that it would go against the loyal nature of his best friend, but also..they weren’t too far away from MacCready and as much as Dean really did want to punch the son of a bitch, Benny still cared about him.

 

“Don’t be a dick,” Benny said punching Dean in the arm.  The fallen city was in range and they quickly lowered, keeping a watchful eye for any kind of movement.  They’d gone light this time, reducing the noise they made. Thankfully nothing either spotted them or they just weren’t there.  Benny tried to not look around too much, seeing the fallen city made his head hurt trying to think of how things used to be before all the bombs fell.

 

Benny patted Dean’s shoulder, pointing to a neon sign saying Goodneighbor with a hastily written All Are Welcome underneath it.

  


“Here goes nothin’,” he said, as he took in a deep breath. He stood back to his full height, shoulders back, and faked a confidence he didn’t feel because Dean just knew, this town would eat him alive if he didn’t. The whole place seemed to throw his instincts outta whack and put him on high alert, despite the _welcoming_ sign.

 

“C’mon, let’s go get your boy.”

 

Benny pushed open the door to Goodneighbor and instantly froze at the two men with automatic rifles pointed at them.  If only it was the guns that had startled. These men looked sick...like their faces had melted a bit. It took far too long for him to realize that they were ghouls, a type of people he’d only learned in school years ago.  People who had gotten radiation poisoning and became disfigured and cast out by the majority of the communities.

 

“What’s your business?” the one on the right asked.  Benny moved to the side to let Dean in and the door to close.

 

“We’re uh, lookin for someone.  Bobby Singer sent us,” Benny answered.  The two looked at each other and shrugged.

 

“Everyone’s welcome but don’t start any trouble or you’ll be dealt with.  And none too gently,” the guy from earlier said, flicking his head to let them pass.

 

Dean nodded toward the guys, or what used to be guys he imagined. He swallowed hard and stepped through the gate. Not long after they got further into the city, there was a stairwell with The Third Rail spelled out, partly in neon, over the entrance. A beautiful voice emanated from the depths below, even with what seemed to be a pretty damn impenetrable exterior.

 

“Bet you all the caps in my pocket your boy is down there, drowning his sorrows,” he said, though there weren’t any caps in his pocket even if Benny were to take him up on it. Though he was sure his friend knew that much too.

 

Benny took in a deep breath and opened the door.  There was another ghoul standing in front of the stairs that led down but this one was wearing an honest to god suit.  The man welcomed them to the place and announced that someone named Magnolia was just getting started. Benny glanced over his shoulder at Dean before slowly taking the steps.  There were a few people sitting around at the tables, a woman on a small platform singing in a bright red shiny dress. It was so out of place but pretty awesome regardless.

  


“Dude,” Benny gasped.  Behind the bar was a freaking robot.  One with three arms and what looked like three eyes.  His form was suspended in the air by the jets that sputtered off and on beneath him.

 

“That would be Whitechapel Charlie,” MacCready said, taking a long draw from his bottle and shaking his head at the two impossible people standing in front of him. At first, he’d thought maybe he just had a bit too much to drink and was starting to see his dreams coming to haunt him, but then Benny turned and there was Dean, so no...less dream, more nightmare.

 

“What are you two doin’ here, you got some kind of death wish?”

 

“Well I haven’t punched you in the nose yet, so let me get back to you on that, but either way, we’re here...and we need to talk.”

 

He knew if he put up a fuss he could easily get Benny and Dean both pushed out of the city, but if they didn’t go willingly, and he figured they wouldn’t, he could just as easily sign their death warrants and MacCready had enough blood on his hands, he wasn’t about to add Benny’s to it.

 

He turned, shrugged, and nodded toward a small table in the back where he’d been relaxing comfortably until his recent past decided to haunt him.

 

Benny followed them over and chewed on his lip.  It had only been a day but MacCready looked a bit ragged.  They took their seats and he stopped himself from scooting closer to the man but only barely.

 

“We think we know what really happened to Sommerville,” Benny said softly.

 

“Well,” MacCready said expectantly, not one for mincing words.

 

Benny glanced over at Dean and when he realized the guy wasn’t going to speak up he sighed, “There was this guy who was a Minuteman.  He pulled some shit and got exiled. The two settlements that had been in range of Sommerville were attacked from the inside, we assume it was this guy.  They knew him and by the time he was done, it was too late for them to raise their own grenades. Leaving Sommerville completely vulnerable. We think he did it in revenge,” Benny explained.

 

“Even if that were true, one guy couldn’t have done all that….right? I mean that’s three settlements all at roughly the same time-”

 

“Not to mention the cleanup, Bobby said by the time they got there, it just looked like everyone packed up and moved on. The Brotherhood, the Minutemen, they all assumed that people made it out, found somewhere better, whatever...no bodies, no nothing…”

 

“Fuck, really?’ MacCready asked, that seemed almost unbelievable, like impossibly unbelievable but the look Dean said it with, rankled him.

 

“Yeah man.  The Minutemen keep very detailed records of everything.  Every settlement they go to, help, take supplies to, everything.  It was reported that the two settlements never radio’d The Castle requesting back up or just letting them know.  The Minutemen only ended up going there because they hadn’t heard from either of them in three weeks,” Benny explained.

 

“Alright, so...who was the bastard?”

 

Dean swallowed, he didn’t want to reveal _everything_ just yet. If they could find Castiel and talk him into some one on one face time, he’d confess every sin he’d ever committed along with those apparently done by his grandfather, but for now, he had to be able to breathe. “His name is Samuel Campbell, I don’t know if he’s still around or not, but I wouldn’t be surprised.”

 

He cleared his throat a little as Benny lifted an eyebrow. “There’s not much we know about him but there’s one other thing...I’ve never met the guy but apparently, he’s my-” Dean paused, his throat felt tight and sore but he growled the words out no matter how hard it was.

 

“He’s my grandfather.”

 

MacCready felt like he got hit in the face with a rusty baseball bat.  He wanted this to be some sick joke, that Dean came all the way here to fuck with him.  When no smile graced either of their lips he cursed loudly, got up and grabbed the entire bottle of Whiskey before coming back, “You are more fucked than you even realize,” MacCready said and then took two big gulps from the bottle.

 

“Samuel Campbell was my boss when I ran with the Gunners.  He’s the fucking leader of them.”

 

“Wait, so...oh fuck.  Dean...your dad…” Benny hissed, his hands rubbing against his face roughly.

 

“What about your dad?” MacCready demanded.

 

Dean swallowed, half tempted to take the drink from MacCready’s hand and down it himself. ‘My father was John Winchester…he was with the Gunners for a while, tried to bring me and my kid brother into the group but my mom left his ass for Sanctuary hills. Bobby and the rest of the Minutemen protected us.”

 

“Got himself blown up in the process,” Benny added with a huff.

 

MacCready stared at the table for what felt like a really long time as the story unfolded in his mind.  He could see it as clear as day, “Samuel wanted the two of you. He’s all about bringing in recruits, especially if they’re family.  Feels like the loyalty will be stronger that way. He probably got pissed that your dad couldn’t get you and even more so when the Minutemen took him out.  That’s why he went after those settlements and I’d bet my sweet ass that the ‘raiders’ who had attacked Sommerville were really Gunners but Cas ain’t gonna remember what the hell they wore.  He was too young and terrified. Fucking hell,” MacCready spat, dragging his fingers over his face and through his hair, knocking his hat off in the process.

 

“Well, we thought once we talked to him-”

 

MacCready let out a bitter laugh. “So it’s yes on the death wish then. Cause I’ll tell you right now that if Castiel Novak ever sets eyes on either of you again, you’ll be damn lucky to walk away from it.” He shook his head, “And somehow I get the feeling this information isn’t going to smooth things over.”

 

“That’s where you come in-”

 

“Oh no, no way in hell am I putting my ass on the line for you...if you’d just have kept your pretty mouth shut we wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place,” MacCready answered, white rage flooding through him all over again. He could have handled Castiel, could have made it easier on him but no, pretty boy had to grow a goddamn conscience.

 

“It was a monumental fuck up okay, we know that.  We’re trying to fix it, we need your help. Please?” Benny asked gently, turning his full attention to MacCready.

 

“Hey-” Dean said indignantly, it was unlike his friend to throw him under the bus, even if it meant MacCready went with them. Benny gave him a warning look though, and Dean shut his mouth. He guessed he could take the hit to his ego if it meant they had a better chance at not getting shot in the face by the love of his life.

 

Fuck, he was so screwed up.

 

MacCready felt his resolve breaking with those bright blue eyes looking back at him earnestly. He’d taken one look at that man and it had been over, he knew it he was just too damn stubborn to admit it. “For you,- keep him the hell away from me.”

 

“Yeah, yeah keep talking...I still owe you that right hook to the jaw, douchebag.”

 

MacCready looked back at Benny with a clear disappointment on his face. “I can’t believe he’s the best you could find...”

 

Dean grinned sarcastically and flipped him off, but they were all heading toward the door, so it felt like something, like a hope of something at least.

 

* * *

  
  


Castiel was dead on his feet, the withdrawal from the Jet making him itchy and grouchy, practically snapping at everyone as they slowly made their way towards Nordhagen.  They were almost home, just a few more hours. It was a long harder trek with the train of caravans, especially with the second shipment arriving just before they left. Now though he knew Jamaica Plains was more than fortified and well supplied.  They were bringing back food and medicine so even though he felt the last bit of his heart was hanging on by a thread, it had been a successful trip.

 

“Boss!”

 

Castiel’s head jerked to the front, his gun instantly going up.  Muriel had been the one to call out to him, her eyes wide. He jogged forward, nearly tripping on himself when he saw who was standing in the middle of the road.  Yanking out his hand gun he pointed it right at his ex-companion and felt himself tremble.

 

“What are you doing here MacCready?” he demanded, taking a few steps away from the group.

 

“Well Castiel, if you really plan to shoot me I guess there’s not much I can say that will change your mind here but...There’s some information, and you need to hear it. So maybe wait until that part’s over before you kill me, yeah?”

 

Castiel lowered his weapon with a heavy arm, god he was tired of all of this.  His eyes fluttered shut for a moment before he forced himself to stand taller, to open his eyes and stare at MacCready, “What information?”

 

“Yeah, about that…” MacCready said, rubbing at the back of his neck as a sigh escaped him. _“I’m_ not the one who needs to tell you…”

 

“What the hell are-” Castiel asked taking a few steps closer and then stopped.  Someone else was moving into his line of vision and his hand jerked back up, “What...I told you what would happen if I saw you anywhere near us!” Castiel shouted, traitorous tears brimming in his eyes.  Dean and Benny came to stand next to MacCready, their hands up but it was Dean who stood in front of them. He did not want to shoot him. Castiel had hoped that his earlier threat would stick and he’d never have to see those damn green eyes again.  But here he was, taking very slow steps towards him.

 

“Look, I know you hate me, I get that...but if you could just give us a few minutes, just listen…” Dean swallowed hard before he made a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep. “Then if you want me to go, want me to leave you alone, hell shoot me, whatever, I just-I’ll let you do it, but please, just hear us out, Cas-tiel.” he winced, remembering how the nickname hadn’t worked so well the last time he’d used it.

 

“Boss?” Muriel called out softly, making Castiel flinch hard.  He’d given his people orders, to shoot Minutemen on sight. And yet here were two of them and Castiel was hesitating.  There was just something about Dean that made him want to stop. He lowered his arm and took in a painful breath, “It’s alright Muriel...stay on guard,” he said before turning back to Dean.

 

“What do you want Dean?” he asked, exhaustion clear in his voice.

 

“You got like...a chair or somethin’ man, this isn’t gonna be a two-second deal,” he said, trying for a light tone but it came out a bit more broken and hurt than he’d planned. Something about seeing Cas again made everything inside him feel like a gaping wound.

 

Castiel nodded, leading them into the trees and away from his people.  He could tell by their stares that they didn’t like it but Castiel just waved at them, silently telling them that it was okay.  They found some fallen logs and while Dean and Benny sat, Castiel stood and MacCready kept watch. It was then it hit him how much he had missed his best friend.  

 

Dean took in a deep breath and began telling him the reason why he’d gone looking for MacCready and then to find him.  At first Castiel didn’t want to listen, the words coming out of Dean’s mouth were lies but the looks on the others’ faces made him pause, especially MacCready’s.  So he continued to listen even though with each uttered sentence, he felt like he was drowning. Especially when Dean admitted that not only was Castiel wrong about who had attacked his home, but it had been a member of Dean’s family.

 

Castiel was pacing, heart racing in his throat as his fingers pulled at his hair, “Th-This man, killed my family...and countless others just...just out of revenge?” He spat as his entire body began to shake.  For ten years he had believed in one thing and one thing only and now, to have that ripped away with an even worse truth to take its place…

 

Castiel rushed away from them to throw up as sobs wracked his body.

 

Dean stood, moving quickly so that Cas didn’t get too far ahead of him. He wanted so badly to hold the man, to apologize, but even that would probably be unwelcome. Still..he had to try.

 

Dean followed him but was afraid of getting too close, the bomb he’d just dropped on Cas couldn’t have been easy to handle and he wasn’t sure if the man would rather punch him or shoot him, and to be honest he wouldn’t mind finding out if it meant he could have Cas in his arms, just once.

 

That thought drove him closer, he moved and moved until he could wrap himself around Cas who was bent over sick with the pain of his childhood coming back to haunt him. Dean brushed his hair away from his face a little and held him tightly. He started to say something but Dean just shushed him, “You can kill me later, just let me do this for you now...please.”

 

For one split second Castiel thought about pushing Dean off of him, to blame him for everything that had happened but how could he?  Dean hadn’t even known the man was his grandfather until now.

 

Everything left Castiel’s body, his hate, his grief...his strength.  He let Dean hold him as he let years of repressed tears fall. His fingers clutched onto Dean’s shirt but even they were losing their grip.  Exhaustion was sweeping over him like a tidal wave until a blissful brush of darkness swept over him.

 

Castiel went limp in his arms and Dean carried him. It wasn’t easy, the man was pure muscle, but he did it. He walked back to MacCready first, not wanting to show up at camp with a passed out Castiel without some sort of backup. The people who were with him were already weary about the conversation, he doubted they’d be any happier with their leader being hauled back looking half dead.

 

“MacCready, get your ass over here so I can get Cas onto a cot without getting shot at.”

 

“Goddamnit Dean keep it in your-fuck,” MacCready’s teasing died in his throat. Castiel was pale and sickly looking, it didn’t take long to realize just how affected he’d been by the news.

 

He walked in front of the other two as they headed back toward the group, making sure to announce that Castiel was fine, he’d just passed out from exhaustion before anyone got too trigger happy. Most of the crew were non-violent in nature, but they also wielded weapons like nobody’s business when necessary.

 

“Muriel, I’m gonna need you to put some blankets down in the van or find me a cot or something, he probably hasn’t slept more than an hour or two in days…” MacCready announced, ordering them around as if he were still second in command.

 

Thankfully, they listened.

 

A pretty blonde woman eyed Dean suspiciously but pulled a stretcher from one of the loads and laid a few warm blankets on it. He gently eased Cas onto the soft fabric and let out a painful sound. It hurt so much to see him like this, it wasn’t the tears or the vomit even that had put Dean off but the pale, placid color of his skin, the way he looked even before he’d heard them out, like he’d worked himself to death just so he didn’t have to stop, didn’t have to think.

 

A voice that sounded suspiciously like Sam reminded Dean he’d not really slept much either since they’d been apart, so he wasn’t really in any place to judge.

 

“Let Zeke check on him,” Muriel said softly.  Zeke waited for the man to move a bit before leaning down and checking Castiel’s pulse and pupils.  They weren’t ideal but at least their selfless leader would make it home.

 

“He needs to rest,” he said softly, covering Castiel a bit more to keep him warm.

 

“Which means he needs to go home, you coming?” Muriel asked looking at MacCready with a raised brow.

 

“We all are,” he answered, knowing a few would want to argue but there was an edge to his tone that told them it was best not to, at least not until Castiel was awake.

 

* * *

  


Benny dragged a hand down his face.  Dean had instantly followed the stretcher to what everyone called Castiel’s hut and they’d been in there for hours.  Their doctor or whatever, Zeke said Castiel would be fine. Just needed to sleep. Even injected him with something to keep his ass down.  Later he overheard from someone who had been in Jamaica Plains with Castiel that their boss had been getting high, to escape the pain. It made Benny’s stomach churn dangerously.  Dean was going to have his hands full when Castiel came to. Especially if that chem that Castiel got hooked on was fucking Jet. They’d all been there when that crap had been introduced to Sanctuary Hills and half the younger population got hooked on that damn Jet.  It took months to clean house but Bobby somehow managed to get everyone clean.

 

He glanced around the place and was instantly impressed now that he could actually take in everything.  They were surrounded by the ocean, a small strip of land connecting them to the mainland. Water generators were everywhere, the noise a soothing hum to the waring thoughts in Benny’s head.  Huts were constructed in neat little rows, creating a town atmosphere including a two-story building where it looked as if everyone congregated. They even managed to have quite a huge spread devoted to farming, a rather large greenhouse sitting to the left of it.  All that was impressive but what struck Benny dumb were all the damn turrets. There were so many of them and in every direction was a guard tower. This place was very fortified but anyone even trying to come to raid would turn away rather quickly.

 

Benny smiled, no wonder these people trusted Castiel so much.  He kept them safe, even when he was down for the count. This place could take care of itself.  There were people training in a field close behind the main house, a gun range to the right of it.  It was truly amazing. He kept walking around, smiling at people who looked up and waved almost hesitantly.  There was a familiar face sitting on one of the picnic tables, fingers gently cleaning his rifle and Benny found himself slowly walking over.

 

“Hey,” he said softly.

 

“Not what you thought, huh?” MacCready asked because it was never what _anyone_ thought it would be. Castiel had poured everything he had into making his home safe, efficient, unreliant on outside help...not as much because he wanted to, but because he’d felt he _needed_ it that way. MacCready had been shocked to his core the first time he’d laid eyes on the place, and it wasn’t nearly as progressed that day.

 

“No, it isn’t.  It’s more than I could have ever imagined.  How in the hell did you guys manage all of this?” Benny asked moving to sit next to MacCready careful to keep some space between them though.

 

“Fair question, but I’ve got another one for you... I get that what happened to Sommerville, that’s not really on you guys and I can handle that, even if it might take Castiel a bit longer,” MacCready said with a long sigh at how he’d gotten himself into this situation. “But what I really want to know is can I trust you...with this. And by that I mean are you going to keep it to yourself or would you be compelled to answer if asked by say...Bobby Singer or hell, even Dean at this point. That boy sure does have a penchant for running his mouth at the wrong time?”

 

“You can trust us.  After we went to The Castle I’ve come to realize that my group...me, Dean, Bobby hell everyone at Sanctuary is vastly different than those at headquarters.  You want us to keep a secret, we will. I swear on it,” Benny said.

 

MacCready hesitated a little longer, he wasn’t quite sure about letting the information get out but Nordhagen was protected well enough that it would take a serious army to make a difference. The problem being of course, that the Minutemen, were a serious army.

 

“See the thing is Benny, I’ve come to learn a lot about folks over the years and you tell them, hey I’ve got a dinner on the table and a couple caps in my pocket and suddenly all they can think about is how they don’t have that and how if they did, they could do better with it….see where I’m going with this?” MacCready asked, he felt a bit defeated that he’d had to spell it out for the man, half feeling that Benny would think it was some kind of hit to his character, but that wasn’t the case at all. He just, he didn’t trust easily for good reason and machines like what they have are seriously something that even The Minutemen would covet.

 

“I get it.  You don’t gotta tell me where this all came from.  Was just curious is all. If it makes you feel safer to not say anything then don’t, ain’t gonna hurt me none.  Just proves further that Castiel is worth his salt. As you are too,” Benny said with a gentle smile.

 

“Well if it were just you, Benny, a guy I met on the road it would be another story. Unfortunately with you, comes Dean and “ _Uncle Bobby”_ and The Minutemen, so it’s probably best to let you think they fell from the sky as far as I’m concerned.” MacCready said, as he turned away. Benny’s _everything_ was just too damn beautiful and he was weak.

 

He was pretty sure that Castiel would take him back, that they’d work things out but the last thing he needed was to complicate that further just because his dick got hard and his chest went warm at the sight of the man.

 

Benny swallowed hard and nodded to himself.  A realization clicking in his head as he got up from the table, “Just uh, wanted to say hey...see how you were doin,” he said barely giving the man a glance as he started to walk away, needing something to do.  Maybe they’d let him take his turn at the targets or maybe he’d just leave Nordhagen for a bit, stretch his legs.

 

Watching him walk away seemed to hurt just as much as it had every other time, maybe more. MacCready knew it was his own words that caused it, that pushed the man away, but he needed to restore his damn balance and he couldn’t do that if every time he saw those muscles or blue eyes and warm smile,  his whole world went off kilter again.

 

It was for the best.

 

_Was it though?_

 

MacCready cursed and swore to himself that he’d just turn all that attention back onto his gun. He’d take precious, methodical care of it until his brain stopped, or he shot himself, whichever came first.

* * *

  


Dean had watched, helplessly, as Castiel slept away his worries. Zeke, or whatever his name was, promised that he just needed rest and time. While he knew it was right, could have said it himself just by looking at the guy, he was still worried. He did however, manage to talk Zeke and one of the others into letting him pull a chair up beside the bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable seat he’d ever had but it was better than standing there and Dean was pretty sure they’d have shot him if he tried to crawl in bed with Cas.

 

It had been hours of being worried out of his mind, his own eyes started to droop a bit when he felt a soft squeeze at his hand and heard a quicker intake of breath.

 

“D-Dean?” Castiel stammered.  His eyelids felt like lead though the rest of him felt pretty good, almost numb.  He’d woken up scared for a moment, not knowing where he was until he heard the sounds of the sea outside.  Then he’d almost cried with relief. He was home. His vision was a bit blurry but he could see the shape of Dean clearly next to him, his soft snores reaching Castiel’s ears.  Almost just as soothing as the crashing waves outside. He didn’t know what was more surprising, finding Dean sitting beside him or that their hands were clasped together. The hateful side of him wanted to pull away but he didn’t.  The contact was nice, a more hungry side of him that he hadn’t felt in a while crept up, craving more.

 

“Hey, buddy.” His voice was scratchy and sleep filled but he managed to grind the words out. “You uh, you passed out on us so we took you back to camp. Your people brought you here and Zeke, I think his name is, gave you a little something to help you sleep.”

 

Dean rubbed nervously at the back of his neck and tried a small smile. “You need some food or water or anything?”

 

“Maybe...maybe some water,” he said softly, sitting up slowly.  He kept their hands clasped though, not wanting to lose that bit of contact just yet.  Their eyes met and Castiel felt like he was drowning. The concern and affection in Dean’s eyes had his own tearing up and sucked in a shuddering breath, “Dean, I’m-I’m so sorry.”

 

“What? Why?” he asked, as he put the water to Cas’ mouth and let him take a few sips. “You’ve got nothin’ to be sorry for, Cas. You didn’t have all the information…”

 

“Hell now that you I don’t see how you’d like me any better...I just, I needed to know you were okay.”

 

“None of this, none of it is your fault Dean.  I held onto my hate for so long…” Castiel took in a slow breath and took a few more sips before letting his head fall back, a few tears sliding down his cheeks.  He was too tired to wipe them away. There was something warm brushing his skin and he jerked a little but smiled when he realized it was Dean brushing them off with his thumb.

 

“I knew something was different about you and Benny, I just didn’t want to admit it.  Then when we kept running into each other and noticed how...strongly I was beginning to feel for you, I freaked out.  Then you telling me you were a Minuteman,” Castiel sighed heavily, “It just got all jumbled in my head and the only thing I knew how to do was lash out.  Pointing the gun in your face was probably the worst thing I have ever done...right next to drawing it out on MacCready too,” he said in a pained whisper.

 

“Cas...it’s understandable, with everything you’ve been through I’m surprised you can even stand to look at me. I-” Dean paused, he wanted so badly to believe that he could have it. Could get Cas and share a life with him, whatever that might have looked like. He wanted it so much he felt like it was engraved, etched into his bones.

 

He’d never once wanted to go with his father, not once in his whole life until he realized maybe just maybe if he had...Cas’ family would still be alive.

 

Castiel reached out with his free hand and touched the side of Dean’s face, his thumb tracing the line his lips made, “I was scared but I could never hate you,” he said just above a whisper.  It was a whole mess of a situation and he was still scrambling to make sense of it all but this right here, Dean so close and their hands still linked together was everything. It felt right, like everything that had happened led him right here.  

 

Biting his lip he moved over on his bed and tugged on Dean’s hand, “It’s okay,” he said.

 

He hesitated for a moment, almost backed away but there was a clarity and warmth in Castiel’s eyes that Dean hadn’t seen before and though he’d never admit it, he needed it all just a little too much.

 

He crawled onto the bed, pulling Cas into his arms immediately. The barely there scent of sweat and the small honied tones he carried on his skin made Dean groan in pleasure. He’d never had the man this close, not even during their almost kiss, it was...it was perfect but overwhelming and wonderful but terrifying. He was a mess of emotions and his brain just kept going and going until he felt a soft press of Castiel’s lips on his and then everything else seemed to fade into the background.

 

Castiel was trembling as Dean’s arms pulled him in tight, their lips just barely touching but it went straight into his heart like a lightning bolt.  He clutched at Dean’s shoulders with a touch of desperation, needing the man that much closer, craving his weight on top of him. It settled something deep in his bones, his very soul when Dean followed his pressings and soon there was absolutely no space between them.  It wasn’t sexual, just a deep needed craving that both of them clearly had. The kiss had turned into nuzzling, their faces buried in each other's necks.

 

“Thank you for coming back for me,” Castiel whispered, the trembling in his body stopped and now he shuddered at all the glorious warmth Dean was providing him.  He never wanted the man to move away from him, ever.

 

“Well, there was a good chance of you shooting me, at least in my mind, hell I’m not even sure I don’t deserve it-”

 

Castiel surged up, interrupting him with a kiss.  Dean’s breath fanned out over his cheek and Castiel couldn’t help smiling, his hands lifting from Dean’s shoulders to cup his face, “Stop, please?  I’m not going to shoot you and you don’t deserve it, please believe me?” he said, letting his eyes show just how sincere he was.

 

“I kinda figured you weren’t going to...now, but-” Dean cut himself off this time, he didn’t want any more negativity in the small space between them, not when there was so much hope for something warmer, softer, sweeter. He put on a sly, charming smile and continued on with a different thought. “But you could always keep trying to convince me.”

 

Castiel laughed softly, the sound surprising them both, “I will, as long as it takes,” he said kissing him again, keeping it soft.  He wanted more, oh God did he want more but now wasn’t the time. He had more to do in repairing what he’d broken but for right now he’d take this with Dean.  They moved around a bit until Dean was holding him from behind, his arms a tight cage around him. Castiel sighed, a soft noise leaving his lips as Dean nuzzled his neck.

 

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, if he was even awake for most of it but Dean never once let him go.  Castiel never felt more safe with someone other than MacCready but this was a whole new bracket. MacCready kept him physically safe, Dean was taking care of and protecting his already fragile heart.  

 

The sun was lowering in the sky, the warmth dimming in his little hut and he yawned, turning his head a little to see Dean looking at him with a tired smile, “Will you do me a favor?” he asked softly, rolling over so that they were facing each other instead now.

 

“Anything,” he said, without hesitation...which was a little bit weird but he realized quickly that he meant it. Whatever it was, he’d do pretty much anything if it meant it would make things any easier on Cas.

 

“I really don’t want you to move but I need to talk to MacCready.  Will you please find him?” he asked, tracing the lines of Dean’s face with the pads of his fingers.

 

“Of course, I’ll send him in and grab some food for both of us while you two talk,” Dean said, kissing softly at Cas’ lips because that was something he could do apparently, and while he was allowed, he’d take full advantage of it.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out my tumblr page @bugandkitlove for behind the scenes info for this chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some smutty goodness!

* * *

 

 

Castiel managed to get up from the bed once Dean left.  His legs felt wobbly but he dragged himself to his clothes container, rifling through it until he found his lighter pants he normally wore to bed and a sweatshirt with a hood sewn along the neckline.  It was soft and had him humming softly. It didn’t take long for a knock to let him know someone was at his door. He poked his head out of the bedroom to see MacCready standing in the entryway of his hut and swallowed hard.

 

His hands twisted together and looked down, “RJ...I’m...I’m sorr-”

 

“None of that now, it’s-its fine,” MacCready said, as soon as he’d closed the distance between them and wrapped Castiel into a hug. The guy wasn’t typically much on affectionate touches, but he’d missed the son of a bitch something awful and he wasn’t about to let that keep him from doing it. “You reacted badly but I’m sure you’d have come to drag my ass out of Good Neighbor eventually, Dean just beat you to it.”

 

Castiel nodded, hugging his best friend as tightly as he could, holding on until MacCready was gently pushing him away, “I should have never dismissed you RJ.  That wasn’t fair of me. You’ve been more to me than just a hired gun...you’re more than that and I’m sorry,” he said quickly, needing to get it out before MacCready tried to stop him.

 

“I know, Castiel… I’m not thrilled about how it all happened but I get that the tensions were high and you went a little unhinged, we all have moments like that,” he answered honestly, shaking his head a little. “But I’m not gonna lie, feels good to hear you say it.”

 

Castiel smiled, gripping at MacCready’s wrists a bit before leading him over to the couch to sit down, “Would you be willing to be at my side again?  As my second?” he asked almost shyly. He knew MacCready would say yes but he had every right to say no and slam the door in his face.

 

MacCready couldn’t help but grin, chuckling a little to himself as he shook his head. “Never really stopped, boss...just took a little vacation.”

 

Castiel laughed, relief swooping through him, “Good, good,” he sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch a bit.  The waves outside were music to his ears and hummed a little, “It’s so good to be home,” he said looking over at MacCready. His friend looked relieved as well but there was something underneath it, a tension Castiel hadn’t noticed before.  He frowned a bit and sat up, “What is it?”

 

“Nothin,” he lied, and quickly changed the subject.

 

“Y’know, not that I’m a fan of the guy or anything but I’ll admit, Dean was damn persistent about staying by your side the whole time you were out. I don’t think he left you even once. I uh, saw someone bring some food in here to him but I gotta admit, he’s either brave or stupid...maybe a little of both.”

 

Castiel didn’t take the bait and raised his eyebrows, “RJ, what’s going on?  You know you can talk to me,” he said softly.

 

MacCready shook his head, “I trust you, boss..just nothin’ to talk about. I-I should get back to work,” he said, moving to leave until Castiel’s hand was on his arm pulling him back and he just, he snapped. “It’s nothing, okay? I just, I-can’t stop thinking about him and it’s driving me crazy. Once he leaves again, I’ll be fine.”

 

Castiel’s mouth opened to say something but he stopped, rethinking about what was about to fly out, “And what if they don’t?” Castiel asked.  It wouldn’t be right of him to ask Dean to stay, not with his family in Sanctuary but he didn’t see Dean leaving right away, if not for a few days at least.

 

“Or...what if I decide to go with them to Sanctuary Hills?” Castiel asked further, peering into MacCready’s face.

 

MacCready felt stunned that Castiel would even suggest such an idea. “Then I’ll handle it, whatever you need to do, I’ll follow you but...I’d much rather keep an eye on things here till you get back if you don’t mind.”

 

“RJ...what happened?  Before my episode, you and him were becoming close, pretty damn intimate if I’m assuming correctly.  What changed?” he asked. MacCready was slowly edging into his fight or flight mode but Castiel kept pushing.  It was the only way he was going to get to the bottom of it and maybe help his friend find some happiness.

 

“Nothing happened, Castiel. Stop trying to do that weird thing where you stare at me until you can see into my head or something. I just want out of it, that’s all… it was just a little fun.” he lied, his heart clenched tightly in his chest as he did so.

 

“And you’re full of shit RJ,” Castiel said with a challenging tone, “You can’t sit here and try to tell me that it was just fun, I saw the way you two were looking at each other before I pulled that gun out.  If I had thought for a second that it wasn’t serious between you two I wouldn’t have reacted the way I had,” Castiel sighed, scooting a bit closer.

 

“I’m scared too,” he whispered, voice trembling a bit.

 

“Fucking hell, boss...why can’t you just leave shit alone,” MacCready said, though there wasn’t any heat in the words. He should have known better than to try to hide something from Castiel. The man was practically psychic when it came to reading what was on his mind at least. “I don’t need this, hell he doesn’t need it either. He’s still young, plenty of time for him to find someone to settle down with, to give him the kind of life he wants.”

 

“And what if he wants you?” Castiel asked, continuing when MacCready said nothing, “Maybe you should actually try talking to him?  At least tell him where you stand so the guy doesn’t get hurt,” Castiel said.

 

“I’d say it’s a little late for that, wouldn’t you... _Mac,_ ” Dean said, half pissed at the guy all over again. If he hadn’t been riding high from the warm reception he’d gotten from Cas after he woke up, he probably would have actually socked the asshole. He’d found Benny just outside the city looking like he’d taken twenty rounds to the gut. If not for the lack of blood, Dean would have sworn he had.

 

He moved closer to Castiel, sitting food down on the small table in front of him before leaning in to kiss at his cheek. “Sorry I interrupted, sweetheart. But I figured you might want this before its cold.”

 

“Well aren’t you two cozy.”

 

Castiel blushed but refused to hide away from Dean’s affection, “What do you mean it’s too late?  What happened?” Castiel asked reaching out for the plate. It smelled delicious and his stomach rumbled loudly.  He was being a bit rude but he didn’t care, he was hungry.

 

“Nothing happened,-”

 

“He basically told Benny he didn’t trust us, and that maybe it’d be a different story if he wasn’t tied to me.” Dean interrupted, grabbing the glass of water from before and bringing it over to the table.

 

“That wasn’t-”

 

Dean shot him a quick glare, “Well that’s what _he_ got out of it, so if you were trying to say something different, maybe you better practice having a goddamn conversation. Hell, I’ll even tell you how to start it; Benny, I’m sorry I was such a dick, of course, I trust you, you see it’s just that I’ve got this stick shoved so far up my-”

 

“Okay stop, both of you,” Castiel groaned around his food.  He crossed his legs on the couch and rested his plate on his knees.  The two of them turned to stare at him and he shrugged, shoveling some more mashed potatoes into his mouth.

 

“I for one think you need to talk to him, clear the air at least.  But that’s up to you. I talked to Dean,” he said finally looking up at MacCready.

 

MacCready rolled his eyes but even as he did it he knew the advice Castiel was giving him was for the best. He wasn’t even sure what the hell he’d say but that really wasn’t what he’d wanted Benny to get out of the conversation, his uneasiness around the man had only pressed the wound deeper he was sure.

 

“Is that all, boss?”

 

Castiel smirked up at him and nodded, “Yeah, that’s all.  Thanks, RJ,” he said watching the man leave his hut. He reached out and took Dean’s hand, squeezing his fingers, “Thank you for getting him for me,” he said.

 

“Whatever you need,” he answered, his tone soft and sweet. But then he remembered the look on Benny’s face, the hurt in his eyes, his best friend damn tore up over that asshole and Dean barely fought back the growl. “Though I can’t promise he’ll be conscious the next time…”

 

Castiel snorted, “Hopefully he won’t make it worse,” he sighed going back to shoveling food into his mouth.

 

* * *

  


MacCready was surprised he had to ask around to find Benny. The man wasn’t hiding from him or anything, at least he assumed he wasn’t. It just hadn’t occurred to him to look in the garden. When he got there, Samandriel was staring wide-eyed at Benny, awed probably by both his physical stature and natural good looks, not to mention the man’s softer side coming out as he helped pull some of the vegetables from the ground.

 

It made his own pulse twitch along with a few other things.

 

When he got closer he just heard bare snippets of a conversation before Samandriel looked up at him and flinched.

 

“Can I speak to you for a minute, _alone?_ ’ MacCready asked he bit back the jealousy as much as he could, even though the interaction seemed a bit one-sided, he was a bit overprotective when it came to the people he lo-cared about.

 

Benny glanced up and frowned, getting up to his feet to brush off the dirt from his pants, “Sure, I’ll be right back to help you with the melons,” he said to Samandriel with a soft smile.  He followed MacCready away from the garden until they were relatively alone.

 

“Look, Ben, I-” he stopped, again not really knowing what to say. He swallowed a bit and closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tried once more. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give you the impression that I don’t trust you. I do, I’m just a bit raw I guess…”

 

“It’s alright.  I guess I can’t really blame you or Castiel.  If the same thing had happened to Dean or hell if John were still alive and sniffin around I’d probably be the same way,” Benny said rubbing the back of his neck.  He wanted to move closer, to touch at MacCready’s arm or face...something but he didn’t.

 

“Just uh, next time you might want to let a guy know that all you’re wantin is somethin physical,” Benny said, swallowing around the hard lump in his throat.  His name was being called behind and when he turned he could see that kid Samandriel waving at him.

 

“Now wait a second-”

 

“Nah man, it’s okay.  I get it, just...keep that in mind for the next guy,” Benny said with a jerk of his head.  He turned on his heel and jogged back over to Samandriel who gave him a bright smile. Benny had to admit the kid was cute, especially when he smiled from ear to ear, “Alright let’s show these melons who’s boss huh?”

 

“Fuck,” MacCready said to himself, his head dropping and shaking at his own damn stupidity.

 

He stood there for a long few minutes before dragging himself back out to the range. He had the sudden urge to shoot at something and it was better for it to be a target than a kid. He dropped his pistol off in favor of a crossbow, something he’d taken to practicing with. When he’d started, he hadn’t been very good at all but he picked it up fairly quickly and it meant he could play with it a bit more than his gun. They made the ammunition themselves and there was a good supply of it but it always felt like a bit of a waste when he finished, so he preferred reusable ammo.

 

Samandriel felt a heat along the back of his neck and if it hadn’t been pretty overcast, he’d have assumed it was just the sun. But clouds were hanging overhead, warning a storm was on the way. He turned a few different times to see MacCready glaring at something, but he wasn’t sure what.

 

“I’m sorry, what was that again?” he asked bashfully, Benny had been so patient and kind with him that he’d developed a bit of a crush on him. Even in a short time it was clear to him the man was sweet and gentle, not to mention unbelievably handsome.

 

Benny chuckled, “You gonna hand me them seeds or not?” he grinned, holding his hand out.  There was a little flush on Samandriel’s cheeks that made Benny grin even wider as his palm was covered with melon seeds.  He got them into the ground quickly, making sure to keep the spacing good enough.

 

“Now, what else?” he asked looking around the massive space they had for the garden.

 

“Oh, I’m not sure, I think there’s some tato seeds and we have some potato chunks used for planting, those I’m used to,” he said, feeling a different kind of heat snake up his neck. He’d been working in the garden for a long time but the melon seeds were new to him at least.

 

“Hmm, hold on a sec,” Benny said and got up, heading to another worker.  She explained to him that they wanted three rows of mutfruit and Benny quickly nodded.  She gave him the bucket full of bulbs and he nodded at Samandriel, “C’mon Angel, this way,” he said heading over to the rows that were already tilled and ready to go.

 

Samandriel flushed hard and stuttered as he tried to catch up, the nickname had made butterflies in his belly and thrown his already clumsy body off even further.

 

“Oh wooah,” he said, as he tripped over a small divot in the soil but before he could hit the dirt warm, hard muscle was wrapped around him, holding him only about a foot from the ground.

 

“Whoa there,” Benny said, righting the kid back on his feet, “Careful, still need your help over here,” he chuckled, shaking his head as he kept their hands together to help him over to the rows that they needed to be at.  The hairs on the back of his neck were suddenly standing on end and he raised his head up to find MacCready practically glaring over at them. He frowned, sighing heavily before turning his attention back to Samandriel.

 

“Sorry, I’m a bit uncoordinated as it is, but it’s a nice change to not actually hit the ground,” Samandriel said, trying his hardest not to flush red from the simple contact of their hands intertwined. He knew it was probably just a safety measure, that Benny couldn’t actually be interested in him or anything but it was still the most exciting touch he’d ever felt. Adrenaline and a mix of other things flooded through him the moment Benny’s arms wrapped around him, and it didn’t fade as they moved across the field.

 

“It’s alright, now, let’s get these bulbs in the ground, looks like we might get some rain tonight,” he said with a warm smile.

  


* * *

 

After lazing around practically all day, Castiel found himself outside as the sun lowered itself the last few inches to hide behind the horizon.  The clouds in the sky were getting larger, flashes of light making him flinch.

 

“Looks like we’re getting a storm,” Hannah said next to him, her eyes following his.  He nodded slowly.

 

“Not a radiation one though.  It’s still going to be a bad one.  Make sure everyone gets inside and the shutters are in place,” Castiel said.  Everyone was already making their ways into the huts, his eyes finding Dean instantly.

 

“And what of our guests?” she asked with a lilt in her voice.  Castiel grinned, looking away a little shyly.

 

“Dean will be with me.  Benny, I have no idea,” Castiel answered.  Dean was talking with the man now, a frown evident on both of their faces as Benny shrugged, turning to follow someone he hadn’t expected.  Samandriel. Castiel’s eyes widened, mouth dropping a bit as he quickly scanned the crowd to see MacCready’s sulking form stomp into the main house.  Castiel shook his head and sighed, that probably didn’t end well.

 

“Alright boss, you get inside too,” Hannah said, pointing a finger at him.  Castiel nodded, waiting for her to jog after some of their younger settlers.  As she ushered the last few to their homes, Dean came running towards him.

 

“Hey, just in time,” Castiel smiled.

 

“For what exactly? Just what do you plan to do with me _Cas_?” he asked, grinning lasciviously at the man. It was mostly gentle teasing, but he needed something to get the fact that his best friend was in pain, off of his mind. And well, if Cas was willing to provide that distraction, he’d gladly take him up on it.

 

Castiel laughed, “Oh I have a few ideas but first, let's get inside before this storm starts.  We need to get the shutters down and in place,” he said, tracking his eyes down Dean’s body before heading inside.  The warmth at his back wasn’t surprising and couldn’t help smiling wide. They worked quickly getting his shutters down and tied in place just as the first drops of rain splattered against his roof.  Thankfully they’d had found enough materials in the warehouse to replace the old rusted shingles with sheets of metal edged with rubber to keep their homes dry.

 

“You guys ever get flooded, being this close to the water?” Dean asked curiously, it wasn’t like he was looking for faults or anything but he wouldn’t mind it if Cas wanted to relocate, though he wouldn’t ask it of him. Dean knew how important these settlements were, these people were to Cas and he’d have just as hard of a time leaving his mom, Sammy, and Bobby...not to mention Benny if that douchebag MacCready didn’t get his shit together.

 

“Sometimes.  There are plans to raise up the settlement but we can’t find enough concrete.  We’ve also talked about moving entirely but some of us, including me, are a little too attached to this place.  Mostly it’s the ones who fled Sommerville who don’t want to leave,” Castiel laughed softly.

 

“Usually it only happens during the storms in the summer,” he said moving to sit down on the couch.

 

“Well I gotta tell you Cas, it sure is somethin’ here...I’ve never seen a place this protected, not even Castle...Hell Castle isn’t nearly as fortified as it should be. Sanctuary Hills has a better setup than they have-,” Dean paused, as he belatedly realized that maybe it would take a while before the MinuteMan references didn’t make Cas flinch. He should probably keep it to a minimum.

 

Castiel swallowed hard, looking down at his hands.  He still wasn’t sure where his head was at when it came to the Minutemen.  He heard and understood everything that Dean had told him but he had spent years, _ten years_ hating these people.  Plotting against them and vowing to kill them if he ever saw so much as one cross his path. He’d been lucky to never have to pull the trigger and it would figure that the one he’d actually met would be the one he fell for.  How cliched could he get? It was straight out of those horrid romance novels that Hannah kept in her bookcase. That he may or may not have read...several times.

 

“Hey, I know you said you were okay, that we were okay, but if you need to change your mind on that...now’s the time to say something,” he chewed at his lip a little, half terrified Cas would take him up on it. But he also guessed that it would be better find that out now as opposed to later, he didn’t enjoy being sideswiped and it felt like Cas could break him with one little word.

 

Castiel took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, keeping his eyes down for a moment to gather himself.  Was he okay? Could he move past this and be with Dean? Was he willing to let Dean go because of this?

 

Yes, he was okay.  He’d heal from this and grow stronger from it and no, he wasn’t willing to watch Dean walk out of his life.  He smiled softly and pulled on Dean’s hand, getting the man to sit down beside him on the couch. With a surge of confidence, he swung his leg over Dean’s and settled down in his lap so they could be eye to eye.

 

“I’m not changing my mind, don’t think I ever could now,” he said softly, leaning in to press their foreheads together.

 

“Good, good,” Dean said, relaxing just a bit. He knew he was already in deep with Cas, it would have hurt like a bitch to let him go again.

 

Surprising both Castiel and himself, Dean managed to say what he felt. “I don’t think I could handle losing you again...once was bad enough... I just-” he swallowed hard and gave him a weak smile. “I need you.”

 

Castiel mewled softly, surging forward to connect their lips.  From the time he’d woken up until they ate their kisses had been slow, almost lazy.  This one was vastly different. From the way they clung to each other and the desperate noises escaping past their lips as they tilted their heads to get more of each other.  Castiel hadn’t known what he was missing until that moment he’d seen those green eyes for the first time and even more so as the man dug his fingers into his skin. What he had shared with MacCready in the past paled in comparison to what he was feeling with Dean, as if with every kiss his heart was slowly being taped back together.  He gasped sharply, a few tears falling down his cheeks and blushed with embarrassment.

 

“I need you too,” he whispered before surging forward again but this time he opened his mouth and let out a loud moan as Dean’s tongue pushed past his lips.

 

Dean felt all the tense, exhausting emotions draining out of him the longer they sat there. The more he got from Cas the more he gave until they were both panting and breathless when he pulled away. “Damn, you’re uh-you’re pretty good at that,” he teased, wasn’t sure which one of them he was actually teasing but he was punch drunk on the kisses at that point and didn’t care.

 

“Could say the same about you,” Castiel chuckled sucking slowly on Dean’s bottom lip.  There was a resounding clap of thunder that made him flinch a little but he ignored in favor of hugging closer to Dean.  He kissed his way down the man’s chin to his neck where he licked slowly along the vein, “C’mon, the beds more comfortable,” he said carefully climbing off of Dean’s lap and playfully tugging at his hand.

 

Dean followed him eagerly, smiling as they cuddled up on the small mattress together. “Not that I’m complaining about anything before, but you’re right...this is a lot more comfortable,” he said, huffing out a laugh before nosing at Cas’ neck and leaving small nips and sucks at the skin there. The warm honeyed scent filled his nose with just a hint of salt on his tongue, it was intoxicating. “Goddamn, you-you taste amazing. It’s like I can’t get enough.”

 

Castiel hummed, eyes rolling up into his head as Dean latched onto his neck for a bit longer this time, a whimper following the sharp nip of teeth.  Biting his bottom lip he sat up a little to tug off his top layers until he was bare from the waist up to Dean. His tanned skin was littered with scars but he wasn’t ashamed of them.  He knew where every single came from and each one was a reminder of why he continued to fight. He ran a hand down Dean’s chest to playfull pull at the bottom of his shirt, “Can I?’ he asked with a mock shyness.

 

“Well, I’d have to be one dumb son of a bitch for trying to stop you…” Dean grinned a bit as he sat up enough for Cas to tug his shirt off. He’d swallowed a bit when he saw the scars on Cas’ skin, imagining just how hard his life had to have been for him to take that much damage made his head hurt. But he was still the most beautiful person Dean had ever laid eyes on, hell they made him look badass and he knew from experience the guy looked damn hot as he fought.

 

Castiel threw his head back and laughed, the sound coming out so freely it almost started him.  He hadn’t laughed so much or this openly until Dean came into his life. He kissed the man as his way of thanks and eagerly pulled Dean’s shirt up and over his head.  A guttural moan brushed past his lips as he dragged his fingers down Dean’s hard chest but yet a somewhat soft belly. It had Castiel shuddering a bit and couldn’t help dragging his thumbs over his taut nipples.  When Dean groaned and twitched Castiel smirked, taking back his position of straddling his legs and hovering over him.

 

“You are gorgeous,” Castiel sighed, leaning down to place a kiss on Dean’s sternum before trailing his lips slowly over so he could drag his tongue over his right nipple.

 

“Fuck,” Dean hissed, arching into the touch with wild enthusiasm.

 

Every touch, every bit of affection Cas was giving him so freely, felt wildly different than anything he’d experienced before. He wanted so badly to give it all back, more even, to give himself over freely but the movements just felt _so_ good and he couldn’t be expected to think while Cas was doing that thing with his mouth.

 

“Oh god, sweetheart. I don’t-ungh, I don’t know how long this show’s gonna last for me...it’s ahhh, it’s been a while.”

 

Castiel pulled up with a feral grin as he rolled his hips down, loving the way Dean’s eyes rolled up in his head.  There was a noticeable bulge in the other man’s pants and Castiel licked his lips as it brushed against him in all the right ways.  He’d always been particularly sensitive along that space between his balls and cock, nearly finishing right on the spot if it was pressed on. Like he had a second bundle of nerves.

 

“I don’t care,” Castiel hummed, rolling his hips languidly, drawing out both of their pleasures until they were shuddering.  He bent down and captured Dean’s neglected nipple and sucked slowly, grazing his teeth against the hardened nub, “What do you want?” he asked, kissing his way up Dean’s chest to his ear, “You can have whatever you want,” he whispered before nibbling against his lobe.

 

“I just,I-” Dean started breathlessly, he mind clouding over in a hazy lust making it difficult to remember his own damn name much less make any sort of decision. Pretty soon, it wouldn’t matter...he was going to spill so unbelievably fast, like he hadn’t in a few years. “Jus-just want you, Cas.”

 

Castiel smiled softly, kissing at Dean’s lips, “You have me, Dean,” he said reaching between them to start undoing Dean’s pants.  It took some squirming but he managed to get both of their cocks free and he gripped them tightly in his fist, “Oh God,” he groaned, stroking both of their now slick cocks slowly at first.  He wanted to look down but he couldn't tear his eyes off of Dean’s face, how it contorted in pleasure. Those beautiful green eyes slowly disappearing the more blown out his pupils became. It was too much and too little at the same time, his body shaking at the intensity of it and the attempt to hold off just a bit longer.  The fingers of his free hand gripped the back of Dean’s hair, keeping their foreheads pressed together as they panted and groaned against each other's mouths. His hand that was gripping them sped up, Castiel’s thumb dragging over Dean’s slit just to hear more of those amazing sounds.

 

“Cas, fuck-Cas I-” Dean moaned between the kisses while his hips jerked a bit trying for _more, now, release_. He chased that orgasm without hesitation because he could feel Castiel shaking above him, ready for his own. Just before he spilled, Cas’ mouth was on his again and Dean’s cries of pleasure muffled between them.

 

Castiel came undone a split second after Dean, the feeling of the man below him shuddering and gripping at him being all too much for him to hold off any longer.  He whimpered long and low, hips rutting against Dean as he tried to slow. The sounds of the storm slowly came filtering back into the hut, barely heard over their ragged breathing and heartbeats.  He kissed at Dean’s swollen lips lazily, his fingers no longer gripping Dean’s hair but scratching at his scalp.

 

“Mmm, God that was amazing,” he hummed, voice coming out almost like a purr.

 

“You-” Dean paused, a small giddy laugh escaping his lips. “You’re beautiful and awesome and I just-God Cas, I-” The words started to get caught in his throat. He knew it was stupid, to feel so strongly about someone he’d known for such a short amount of time but he did. It wasn’t just the deep blue eyes, chiseled jaw, and tightly toned body that drew him in but Cas was fucking amazing. He was one of the best fighters Dean had ever seen, he was brave and strong, he wanted so badly to help everyone, and he did a damn good job of it.

 

He was-, he was too damn good for Dean but fuck if he was going to point it out.

 

He swallowed hard, pushing back his anxiousness. “I know it’s a little early in this to be making big declarations and what not so I won’t do that just yet but Cas I think you’re amazing and I was hoping, maybe when you get the chance to take a little break...that you could come back to Sanctuary Hills with me...just for a little while. Maybe meet Sammy, my mom...if you want to that is.”

 

Castiel laughed, quickly kissing Dean to reassure him that he wasn’t laughing at Dean’s request, “I’m laughing because I had mentioned this very thing to MacCready earlier.  He looked at me like I had sprouted two heads,” he grinned, moving a bit so he was more comfortable, laying on his side but draped over Dean’s torso. They needed to clean up but he refused to move at that moment.

 

“Right now I can say I’d love to but when we get there, I can’t promise I won’t freak out.  I’m still trying to get used to the fact that the Minutemen aren’t actually my enemy but seeing all of you at the same time...might make me panic,” he said softly and this time he allowed for himself to cower a bit, his face hiding against Dean’s chest.

 

“If it’s something you want to do, Cas...we’ll figure it out when we get there. If not though, I’d-well I’d understand,” Dean said, softly kissing at the top of Cas’ head. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must be on Castiel to deal with everything they’d found out over the last few days. Hell, he was having a pretty hard time getting it through his own head, he knew it had to be a hundred times harder for Cas.

 

Castiel let out a slow breath as he moved his head enough to peer up into Dean’s face, “I do Dean.  I’m not willing to let this go so if it means I have to get used to being around a few Minutemen, I will.  Just might take me some time,” he said shifting around again until he could comfortably press his face into Dean’s neck instead this time, the scent of him calming his suddenly frayed nerves.  He was addicted already but this was a much better high.

 

“How long can you stay?” he asked softly.

 

“As long as you need me to,” he said, surprising both himself and Cas it seemed. “I mean I’d have to get word back to Uncle Bobby so he doesn’t freak out but I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be than wherever it is you want me.”

 

“Are...are you sure?” Castiel asked, eyes going wide and wet yet again.  The number of times he'd cried in front of Dean already was almost humiliating but he couldn't deny how good it felt to have Dean cup his face and wipe the tears away with a soft brush of fingers.  If Dean was willing to stay here with him then Castiel was more than willing to try for him, to go to Sanctuary Hills and meet Dean’s family.

 

“Of course, I know you’re a busy guy...you’re important to these people Cas..I’m not gonna drag you away from all that just to feed my own ego. When I asked you to go back with me, I really did just mean a quick trip.” Dean huffed out a small chuckle and shook his head at his ridiculous boyfriend.

 

“I go wherever you go, at least that’s my new plan until you get sick of me,” he grinned, kissing softly at Cas’ lips.

 

Castiel smiled against Dean and relaxed, his head settling on the other man’s chest as his eyes began to flutter shut, “That’ll be a very, very long time from now,” he said sleepily.

 

* * *

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another smutty chapter for ya'll lol!

* * *

 

Castiel wiped the sweat off his brow and tilted his head back, the afternoon sun beating down on him.  He was knee deep in water, hands covered in slick oil as he tried to fix one of the older water generators.  He had a feeling they’d have to be salvaging this one soon but he wasn’t giving up on it yet. It had been the first one he built all those years ago when they found this place.  There was sentimental value to the stupid thing that he wasn’t even ashamed to admit. 

 

“C’mon Bessie work with me dammit,” Castiel grunted trying to tighten one of the bolts that always became loose.  There was a snarky chuckle behind him and he turned his head to find MacCready grinning at him. He’d lost the hat and the trenchcoat a few days ago, finally comfortable enough to walk around Nordhagen without his usual armor.  It was a good look on him, relaxed even though Castiel could still see that ring of tension in the man’s eyes. And it had absolutely nothing to do with him being worried about their home. More like the bear of a man working in their fields with a certain younger man.  

 

“What you laughin at?” Castiel called out, pulling the rag from his back pocket to wipe off his arms.  

 

“I think it’s about time you give up on that thing, boss…” MacCready said, shaking his head at how damn stubborn Castiel could be over the stupidest things. It did warm his heart to see him still trying though, trying to fix it...at least one of them had been able to work things out. 

 

Castiel sighed heavily, “I think so too, damn.  I was hoping to not lose her. I guess we can salvage most of her, build an entirely new one.  The guys at the factory already have one in the making,” he said patting the side of the generator fondly before hauling himself out of the water.  He threw the tool at the box and grabbed at MacCready’s hand, letting his friend pull him up. 

 

“How’d training go this morning?’ Castiel asked.

 

“It was good, though I’m thinking of moving down closer to the beach or...maybe to the other side of town,” he said, trying to find a way to  _ not _ say that Benny and the twink were getting under his skin. He couldn’t help but watch them, the field being so damn close to where he was working. It seemed like no matter how hard he tried to focus, his eyes would just snap to Benny for even the slightest reason. 

 

Castiel grunted at that, his eyes rolling a bit.  He and Dean had just talked about this and where Castiel wanted the two to patch whatever the hell went wrong between them, he had to agree with Dean.  MacCready made a mess of things and if he’d just talk to Benny, maybe they wouldn’t be where they are now. 

 

“Well, do what you need to do RJ.  I put you in charge of it because I know you’re the best.  Can’t have you distracted by you know...the fields or whatever,” Castiel smirked.

 

MacCready punched at Castiel’s shoulder without warning but it wasn’t enough to really hurt the guy. He loved the man like his own kin but sometimes he just rankled him intentionally. MacCready was already feeling like a caged bear about the whole thing, Castiel poking him with a stick wasn’t helping. 

 

“Yeah,” he said, his throat tightened and his voice went a bit raw. “I’ll have everyone start moving things around once I find some space somewhere else.” 

 

Castiel punched MacCready back in the arm and shook his head, “Okay,” he said still in a teasing manner.  He managed to duck the next punch and laughed, “You can keep trying to swing at me all you want,” he said shaking his head.  

 

“Go on ahead, I’m sure they got lunch about ready now,” Castiel said looking around to make sure all his tools were in the box.

 

“Sure thing bos-” MacCready said, stopping in his tracks as soon as he stepped around the tool shed that stood near the pier. 

 

Benny was there, Samandriel in his arms grinning widely, their faces so close he couldn’t be entirely sure they  _ weren’t _ kissing. He felt a bit weak in the knees, an icy chill spreading down his spine. 

 

He was frozen there, to that spot, everything inside him screaming  _ wrong wrong wrong. _

 

“Now I’m beginning to think you’re trippin on purpose,” Benny chuckled but kept his arms around the poor guy.  He liked him, was attracted to him sure but the kid was just that...a kid. Yeah, he was eighteen and only a few years younger than him but he was just so innocent.  Benny knew he wasn’t being fair and was probably leading the poor guy on but it was nice, having someone faun all over him like Castiel was with Dean. He felt that burning sensation at the back of his neck and he jerked his head to the side, flinching a bit seeing MacCready there.  Again with the staring.

 

“I’ll meet you over at the greenhouse,” he said with a gentle smile towards Samandriel.

 

He stared as he watched the kid walk away, even though there was a small smile on his face as he’d looked up at him, MacCready could tell that Benny was pissed. He was just holding it in until the kid was gone. The loud ringing in his ears only grew louder as the man walked with purpose toward him, muscles bulging, half prepared for a fight, or at least he seemed to be. MacCready’s instincts went nuts, his own body responding to the flight or fight call. 

 

“You got somethin to say just say it,” Benny said, crossing his arms over his chest.  He couldn’t help watching as MacCready tracked the muscles in his arms or how hunger seemed to blow out the guys eyes.  Benny wanted to roll his, to laugh and walk away but he was glued to the spot. Part of him worried that he might do something entirely different and screw up his already confused mind.

 

“I-” MacCready swallowed. In that moment he couldn’t tell you what he was thinking, what he felt, he was numb, frozen but he knew without a doubt that he’d been the most idiotic asshole on the planet for letting Benny get away from him, not once but twice.

 

The next words came with little thought or consideration. He wasn’t even aware he was talking until they were already half out of his mouth. “I’m terrified and I don’t  _ get _ terrified. I haven’t been this damn scared since I left my kid with  _ strangers _ to keep him safe so I could afford to get his medicine. I wasn’t in it for some kind of  _ fling _ , despite what you think. I just got scared and I didn’t handle it well, alright?” 

 

He didn’t realize but by the end of it he was half screaming, tears forming at the edges of his eyes and fear licking at his spine. Afraid this would be the final push, that he’d actually just screwed it up all over again. He took a deep breath and with a softer tone, he said, “I-I didn’t handle it well.” 

 

Benny’s mouth fell open and he quickly shut it before grabbing up MacCready’s hand and gently pulling him away from prying eyes for which there were many.  He doubted the guy wanted to have it out with so many people within hearing range. Benny got them around one of the huts, his hands instantly resting on MacCready’s shoulders to try and calm him, “Hey, hey it’s okay,” he said softly, sliding his hands up to cup the man’s jaw.

 

‘I-” he started, but he didn’t really know what to say. He’d just made an ass of himself in front of half the town and the other half would know before lunch was over, he was sure of it. Not to mention the fact that  _ nobody _ , nobody but Castiel had even known he had a child... _ Fuck _

 

“Look at me,” Benny ordered, a flair of pleasure coursing through him when he did, “Nothins gonna happen to your kid, no one here would betray you or Castiel.  If they even tried, they wouldn’t last two steps out of this place,” Benny said, voice lowering an octave. He didn’t make that promise lightly, kids were precious and rare these days, the fact that MacCready had one was jarring but still, it was his child.  

 

MacCready relaxed a little, sinking into Benny’s arms despite the fact that he knew the man was just being kind. He’d had a bit of a breakdown and he’d allow himself the comfort as long as Benny wasn’t objecting, at least.  

 

“I had to leave him, I-I had to, and then...you, I-I pushed you away, I-ruin every good thing I touch….”

 

To say Benny was a masochist, a glutton for self-punishment would be an understatement.  He leaned in and shut MacCready up with his lips, keeping the kiss chaste and almost too soft to really feel anything.  It was enough to quiet the other man and both of them groaned as arms pulled to get themselves pressed closer. There was a thunk and Benny pulled away with a chuckle, he’d backed MacCready up until he hit the hut behind him.

 

“Sorry,” he said cupping MacCready’s face again, “And you don’t ruin everything you touch.  We had a misunderstanding, that’s all,” he said softly.

 

He almost asked, if it was really happening, if he was really allowed this again but he was too scared that if he did it would disappear. He pulled Benny back in before his mouth got the better of him .  He dragged those gorgeous soft lips between his own and nibbled at them. He’d found that the man made the most delicious noises when he was nipped at or downright bitten on his neck. 

 

His hips arched forward, looking for some kind of friction and finding Benny’s large thigh there to greet him. “Ungh, I-I need-” 

 

Benny pulled away to rest his head down on MacCready’s shoulder, they couldn't do this out here.  Too many people and he didn’t want to risk Samandriel trying to find him before they could talk. He palmed at the bulge in MacCready’s pants and licked his dry lips as he pulled his head up, “Where’s your bed?” he asked giving MacCready a firm squeeze.

 

“Fuhhh,” he moaned, before trying to remember what it was Benny had asked him. While normally he bedded down in the main house during the day after patrolling the night before, he did actually have a hut that didn’t get much use. He whined as Benny’s tight grip on him loosened and he laced their hands together and pulled them toward the small row of single-roomed huts. 

 

It took a few minutes to get there, though it felt like an eternity. 

 

“In here, c’mon, I-fuck, need to get those damn clothes off you.” 

 

“Same sweetheart,” Benny growled out, damn near ripping the shirt right down the middle.  He controlled himself just enough but he still yanked it over MacCready’s head. All that tan flesh was on display now and he dragged his hands over the hard muscle before tugging at the buttons and zipper of MacCready’s pants.  Now his own shirt didn’t get the same treatment, it was ripped open and he laughed at the sound.

 

“Fuck...god I’ve missed that sight. Did you get better lookin’ muscles or is it just my self-imposed detox?” MacCready groaned, Benny’s body even more impressive than he remembered. His hands moved wildly, trying to remember every angle and curve. 

 

“Probably the last one,” Benny grinned, letting MacCready touch at him for a bit before he grew impatient and dropped to his knees, yanking down the man’s pants and underwear as he went.  Once MaCready was completely bare to him Benny wasted no time in stroking his cock, getting him to full hardness before wrapping his lips around the tip. He felt the man’s legs shake and he groaned, using his hands to steady him by kneading into the back of his thighs.

 

“Ungh that mouth,” MacCready said, the praise evident in his voice. Not many could turn him into a mess this quickly but soft lips, satin tongue, and the wet heat of his throat felt like heaven. “C’mon, I-fuck, I want you to fuck me and I’m not gonna last if you keep that up.” 

 

Benny moaned around MacCready’s length, pulling off slowly but not before rolling his tongue over the head a few times, “You got any slick sweetheart?” he asked standing up and kissing him deeply before MacCready could even answer.  He walked them over to the bed and pushed the other man on top of it. His grin grew wider as he began to undo his pants, letting them fall in a heap at his feet.

 

“There’s probably a jar of some mutfruit in here somewhere, fuck I’ll take you bare right now If I have to...just get inside me already,” MacCready answered, impatiently stroking himself as Benny looked around for the damn stuff. He felt so goddamn empty and the long line of cock, hard against Benny’s belly only made it worse. 

 

“Ain’t gonna go do that sweetheart, don’t wanna hurt ya no matter how needy you get for it,” Benny chuckled.  He found the jar of mutfruit, the oils making it a jelly substance and very slick. He’d never used it before.  First time for everything. He dropped the jar onto the bed and crawled up between MacCready’s legs.

 

“Oh and just so you know, I do like to switch sometimes,” he said with a leer and a wink as he got his fingers slicked up.  There was a look of confusion on MacCready’s face that instantly melted into one of pleasure as Benny rubbed slow circles along his rim.

 

“Ohhh fuck, yeah, Gods that sounds good, but maybe ungh-maybe later,” MacCready said, moaning as Benny continued to push his way inside slowly. It was more teasing than he’d have liked, but he wasn’t in much of a position to argue. He didn’t want it to hurt either but fuck if he didn’t feel empty all the same. 

 

Benny had thick, calloused fingers that felt great but nothing compared to what he knew it would feel like to have the man inside him. He ached for that feeling, the satisfying sensation of being stuffed full. MacCready had no doubt that Benny’s impressively large cock was more than capable of giving that to him.

 

“Mmm, definitely later,” Benny grinned, thrusting his finger in and out of MacCready slowly.  The man was tight and searing hot inside and Benny’s cock twitched with the need to be buried within.  He scooped up some more of that jelly and pushed in two fingers, biting his lip as MacCready’s face fell slack, back arching off the bed.

 

“You’re almost there sweetheart, just a little bit longer,” Benny said scissoring his fingers now.

 

He muffled the cries of pleasure against his arm, as he hoped with everything inside him that he would be able to feel the full length of the man inside him soon. It was all so much and it had been too long since he’d been properly fucked that he wasn’t sure if he could wait much longer. It felt as if he was burning from the inside out, need setting loose under his skin like an explosive. 

 

MacCready was relieved when Benny pulled his fingers out, sure he felt completely empty again but he also knew what it meant.

 

He was ready. 

 

Benny growled low in his throat as he took in the sight of his lover beneath him, sweaty, flushed and twitching.  He almost took him just like this but instead, he flipped the man over with his ass in the air and chest pressed down against the mattress, “You okay with this sweetheart?” Benny asked dragging the head of his cock along MacCready’s hole.

 

“Gods yes, just, just get inside me already,” MacCready answered, moving his hips back as much as he could though it didn’t really help until Benny actually lined himself up and started the slow slide into him. The movement, the fullness of it all stole his breath and whited out his thoughts. 

 

At that moment there was nothing but the two of them and the feeling of wholeness warming his chest. Benny held himself there for a moment, and the world seemed to disappear, the pleasure, the tiny string of pain from stretching, all if it faded into nothingness. 

 

Just one quiet hitch in time where he wasn’t even sure  _ he  _ existed.

 

And then Benny started to move, and pleasure flooded back tenfold. His body racked with nerves and sweat and need. MacCready hadn’t ever felt anything so glorious but he begged for more, harder, faster, anything to chase that feeling. 

 

The noises that fell from MacCready’s mouth seared through his veins like wildfire.  His fingers dug into his lover’s waist, pulling him back roughly against him with each thrust.  The cot beneath them creaked and for a split second, he was worried it might break but that was washed away as MacCready clenched tightly around him.  Things were ramping up quickly, a little too quickly if Benny was being honest. He fell forward, pressing their bodies flush. The movements of their bodies were slower now as he sucked hard on the side of MacCready’s neck.

 

“Look so good like this,” Benny grumbled, dragging his teeth down to MacCready’s shoulder to bite at, “Beautiful.”

 

“We’ve only just started,” MacCready said between the moans that fell out the moment Benny’s mouth went anywhere near his skin. He rolled his hips a little and clenched tightly. It wasn’t much with the two hundred pounds of muscle on his back, but enough to steal the man’s breath which was what he’d intended. 

 

“Ungh fuck,” Benny grunted, dropping his head down onto MacCready’s shoulder, letting himself breathe for a second before yanking himself back up.  Picking the pace back up he pounded into MacCready, one hand on the man’s hip while the other gripped at his shoulder. Liquid heat pooled in his belly and he shuddered hard as he got close but refused, wanting MacCready to finish first.  He spat into his hand that had been clutching at MacCready’s hip and started stroking him.

 

Once there was finally a hand on his cock it didn’t take long for MacCready to be pushed over the edge. He was almost positive that he could have found his release without it but that could be explored another time, Benny was ready and he wanted the man to fill him up so badly it was as if he’d already made space inside himself for it. 

 

Even as he was still riding out the waves of his orgasm, he begged Benny to do the same, to use his body in search of his own pleasure and to take it as soon as he needed. It had never felt so damn good to be used, to finally feel like he had a purpose beyond his own selfish desires. If he brought even half the pleasure to Benny that had been given to him, MacCready would be satisfied. 

 

Benny threw his head back with a loud shout, his hips snapping forward a few times before pulling MacCready back flushed against him, spilling deep.  They fell forward onto the bed, Benny’s sweaty chest pressing against MacCready’s back, both of them breathing heavily. Benny chuckled softly, turning his head to kiss at MacCready’s neck and shoulder, “Well damn.”

 

There was a loud chuckle that echoed through the room and for a moment he hadn’t even realized it had come from his own mouth. MacCready had long been familiar with the warm comfort of an orgasm but something inside him just went a bit giddy. Made him feel like a teenager all over again, laughing to the point of breathlessness. 

 

When he finally got himself back under control, he shook his head and apologized. “Sorry, sorry… that wasn’t about you, I think I’m just a little overwhelmed, in a good way.”

 

“Hey, don’t need to apologize, sweetheart, I’m just glad I made you feel good enough to get all giggly,” Benny teased, gently pulling out.  He liked the mess he left behind and made a mental note to get more acquainted with MacCready’s ass later. Flopping down on the bed he let out a breath, “Shit, I’m gonna have to break that poor kid's heart now,” he groaned rubbing his hands down his face.

 

“Oh I’d be happy to take care of that for ya-” MacCready started but he could tell Benny was actually feeling pretty guilty over it. To be honest, it bothered him a little but he could understand. It was his own damn fault that he’d let them get close like that, if he’d given the man any reason to believe he shouldn’t be interested, Benny would have never let the boy get invested.

 

“He’ll be fine, Benny.” 

 

“Yeah I know, I shoulda been upfront with him though.  It was nice, having someone faun all over me but I led him on and I’m not like that.  Dammit,” Benny sighed rolling over onto his side to look at MacCready, “Don’t think I regret this though, cause I don’t.”

 

“Good, I don’t either, but if you wanna keep the kid, as a pet or something, I could be agreeable,” MacCready teased, running his fingers down Benny’s sculpted chest. The simple touch had felt impossible only a short time ago, but here it was, the warm skin under his fingertips and the steady thrum of his lover’s heart. 

 

“I don’t think I can handle two at once and what would your people think of me corrupting him?” Benny snickered, pulling the man in for a kiss.  He hummed against his lips and found himself moving to hover over MacCready, their legs tangling in the sheets, “Unless that is, you want to corrupt him?” he teased.

 

“I like the kid okay, but more importantly, I just want you to be good, to be happy. If you think I’m enough, that’s fine with me if there’s something about the boy that gets your engine going and you wanna try that, I’d be willing to talk,” MacCready answered honestly, he didn’t have any objections to the kid and his ideas on traditional monogamy had changed long ago. “I’m not going to lie though, I wouldn’t be surprised if he took one look at me and ran the other direction.” 

 

Benny barked out a laugh, “Yeah, you do make him nervous.  And I’m fine with it just being you and me,” he said with a warm smile before laying on his back.  It was a little surprising when MacCready shuffled closer, his head finding its place on his chest.  He rubbed his hand down the other man’s back slowly and closed his eyes.

 

“Probably didn’t help that every time I saw you two together I tried to incinerate him with my eyes,” MacCready admitted, a small chuckle leaving his lips.

 

Benny snorted at that, tipping up MacCready’s face for a kiss, “Nice to know,” he grinned, “Now let's take a nap then I’ll have a little talk with him,” he said yawning.

 

It felt so damn good to be in Benny’s arms again, to feel like maybe it wouldn’t be the last time, to think that for the first time in a long time he had a chance at something good, something he wouldn’t fuck up. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I never knew you could do that mutfruit," MacCready, in game after you sleep with him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Benny return home with Castiel and MacCready by their sides.

* * *

 

It was slowly nearing a week since he and Benny had left home, Dean wasn’t as antsy to get back as he usually was but that was mostly cause he assumed it would mean leaving Cas, temporarily at least. The guy had a shit ton of work and there were hundreds of people counting on him, he could understand not being able to get away from that.

 

They’d talked briefly about Cas coming back to Sanctuary Hills with him, but then Cas hadn’t mentioned it again and Dean was too afraid to push it. He knew it was a sore spot and not really something the guy was looking forward to, even though he seemed genuine enough when he’d promised to try.

 

“We gotta get home, I think the days for sending a message are long gone, Bobby’s gonna freak out if we’re not there, flesh and blood, y’know?” Dean said to Benny, quietly as they watched the sunset over the horizon. “I was hoping to put it off a little longer but I don’t want him sending anyone out after us.”

 

“Yeah, that could end horribly,” Benny sighed, leaning back against the railing of the steps they were sitting on.  He loved home and missed it but he had a feeling, he’d be missing Nordhagen more. And not just because of his new bedmate.  It was everything, from the people to the hard work, it did something to his very soul. Sure they did work back home but for whatever reason, it wasn’t the same.

 

There was a movement to their right and Benny perked up, his face falling when he saw it was Samandriel, “Oh hey,” he said softly, wincing a bit at the slight glare the kid gave him.  That conversation had not gone well...at all.

 

“Castiel wishes to address _everyone_ at the main house,” Samandriel said curtly, before walking away. 

 

“Man, looks like the kid is _pissed_. I can feel that chill all the way over here,” Dean said.

 

“Yeah, I fucked that up royally,” Benny groaned, getting up from the stairs and helping Dean up, “I can’t lie and say I’m not happy that me and MacCready are together though,” he said with a shrug before bumping his shoulder with Dean’s.

 

“I still owe him one, you tell him I’mma collect soon too...” Dean grinned, nudging back at his friend. As much as he hated to admit it, MacCready was good for Benny. Apparently, the guy made his best friend happy even if he had a tendency to rub him the wrong way.

 

Benny laughed, “Oh yeah, he’s waitin for you surprise attack him any day now,” he grinned leading the way back to the main house.  Castiel was standing up on the steps his face tight with some kind of determination while MacCready stood to his left and that girl Hannah on his right. Benny figured she was his advisor of sorts, she was sweet, quiet but Benny knew that woman had a mean right hook.  Watching her during MacCready’s training session had taught Benny a very valuable lesson. Don’t fuck or underestimate _anyone_ of Nordhagen.

 

Castiel looked around at the growing crowd, a small smile forming on his face once he caught sight of Dean and Benny.  He swallowed against the thud of his heart and raised his hands, getting everyone to quiet down.

 

“I should have done this sooner but as you all have probably heard, I wasn’t exactly in the right mind frame when I returned home.  For those of you who asked and actively sought me out in concern, I’m okay now,” Castiel said, folding his hands in front of him. There was a small touch at his elbow and he nodded.

 

“Many of you have been asking about our two new guests and have heard the rumors.  I’m here to tell you now, that the rumor is true. They are Minutemen,” he said. There was a collective gasp and everyone began fidgeting nervously.

 

“Well thanks for the heads up, Cas,” Dean muttered under his breath, only Benny was able to hear him. Now he guessed he just had to hope that Cas wouldn’t let them get chased out of town.

 

“What do you mean they’re Minutemen?  Castiel! How...how could you bring them _here_!”

 

Castiel looked out in the crowd and felt his eyes tighten.  Inias was staring up at him, his entire body shaking as the tears began to fall.  Inias had been even younger than him when they escaped Sommerville.

 

“Because everything we thought we knew about them, was wrong.  I was wrong. There’s a much, much bigger story here, one that I will share with anyone wanting to listen.  But from here on out, Minutemen are no longer a threat to us. They will be treated as we would treat anyone seeking help,” Castiel said.  Many of his people stared up at him skeptically but the majority were nodding, giving him soft smiles of relief.

 

“Thank you all, as always we protect each other,” he said.  There were a few shouts of encouragement and he smiled, moving down the steps to gather up Inias in his arms.  His body was tense but within seconds Inias all but deflated as he began sobbing into Castiel's shoulder.

 

“It’ll be alright Inias.  We’ll get the ones who did this to our families, I promise,” Castiel said pulling back to cup his face. Inias nodded numbly.

 

“I trust you Castiel,” he whispered as Anna gently took over and led him away.  Castiel sighed heavily, his heart feeling a little less heavy.

 

“Y’know you could have said somethin,” Dean whispered softly against Castiel’s ear as he put his arms around his waist, pressed against his back. He didn’t want to upset Inias further, but he also had a problem keeping his hands off Cas if he was nearby. “I’d have liked to know what was coming.”

 

“I know, it was spur of the moment.  The rumors were spreading fast and I needed to say it to the whole settlement before someone did something stupid.  Muriel just told me about it, I’m sorry,” he said, tilting his head so that his temple was pressed against Dean’s.

 

“Inias will be okay...Anna will take care of him,” he said mostly to himself, wanting to believe it to his core.  

 

“It’s fine, sweetheart..just caught me off guard. You do whatever you’ve gotta do though. That’s what’s important.” Dean answered, kissing softly at his lips. “But Benny and I, we’ll be taking off first thing in the morning. We gotta check in and let everyone know we’re okay. When we left, we weren’t quite sure how things would turn out and I know Uncle Bobby’s gonna freak out if we wait any longer.”

 

Castiel turned slowly in Dean’s arms and placed his hands on the man’s chest, following his breathing with his own to keep calm.  The very thought of Dean leaving had his stomach dropping to his knees, “I-I want to come with you, if that’s still an option?” Castiel asked softly biting on his lip.

 

“Yes, absolutely...if you think you can, if you want to, I want you there.” Dean tried not to sound too excited but the thought of taking Cas home to meet his mom, Sammy, Bobby; _Hell, everyone._ It had excitement and warmth flooding through him quickly.

 

“I want to try.  And not just for me,” Castiel smiled, raising up to kiss Dean, “I want to meet your family, you’ve already met mine.  If things go well...I want to do this for my settlements as well. Maybe we can, I don’t know ally ourselves with the Minutemen again.”

 

“Well I won’t lie to you, Cas...I know it’s not gonna be easy for you but it would make me a pretty happy guy.”

 

Dean kissed him again, softly and chaste as he held him in his arms. The last few days with Cas had been amazing and though they still had a shit ton of stuff to deal with, Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever been happier.

 

“Not that you don’t do a good job of that already,” he added with a smirk.

 

Castiel blushed, playfully swatting Dean away from him but like always, went straight back into Dean’s arms.  He nuzzled into Dean’s neck and sighed, “I could say the same about you,” he hummed, “I gotta talk to MacCready and make the arrangements,” he said, not moving an inch.

 

“Do whatever you gotta do, sweetheart.” Though they both knew he needed to go, Castiel didn’t seem to be eager to leave his arms so Dean just held on a little tighter.

 

They stayed like that longer than they should have but neither wanted to release the other.

 

Castiel leaned up and kissed the underside of Dean’s jaw before humming, the scent of his boyfriend seemed to be the one thing to calm him recently.  Like a cooling salve over a burn.

 

“I’ll meet you back at my hut okay?” Castiel said with a shy smile.  Once he got Dean’s answering nod Castiel trekked across the settlement towards the training grounds.  After Benny and MacCready patched things up, his friend didn’t see the need to move it which only made Castiel snicker.  He found both of them standing close together, nearly touching but their eyes were glued to the trainees in front of them.  At first, Castiel thought Benny could easily be too distracting for MacCready but he was grateful to be wrong in this case. Benny was proving to be an asset to MacCready’s lessons.  

 

“RJ,” Castiel called out, tilting his head to get the man to follow him, “You got a minute?”

 

“Sure boss, one sec,” he said before he turned to Benny with a small smile, “Warm them up for me, would ya?”

 

He left before he got an answer, knowing Benny would take care of everything, trusting the man to have his back. It felt good to have that again, to have it with someone other than Castiel.

 

He turned to his friend with a smile, “What do you need?”

 

Castiel took a moment to return the smile and lead MacCready from the others a bit, “I want to head out with Dean and Benny when they go to Sanctuary Hills.  I think I need to see for myself that the other Minutemen are like them and not what I always envisioned them to be. If things go well...I-I want to try and create an alliance with them.  Well, with Sanctuary first but anyway, I know it’s dumb to ask at this point but will you come?”

 

“Sure, you know me, any excuse to spend more time with muscles and I’m happy.” MacCready hadn’t really had any doubts in the story, not when it lined up so well with his experiences with Samuel and the other Gunners. The man was a sick son of a bitch, and MacCready had no doubts that he was capable of slaughtering three settlements in a single day. Never losing sleep over it; hell probably even had a smile on his face for the whole thing. “Hannah willing to take care of things here?”

 

“I’m sure she will.  I’ll have to speak with her before we leave though,” Castiel said looking around the place.  The sun was sinking lower into the horizon, casting the sky into beautiful shades of purples and blues.  It was probably the best view of their sunsets, right along the beach with the waves crashing.

 

“We’re gonna probably be leaving early in the morning,” Castiel said with a lazy smile, his hand lifting to squeeze at MacCready’s shoulder.  

 

“Excuse me, Castiel?”

 

Castiel frowned, turning to face Muriel and a few others who had grim looks on their faces.  MacCready automatically moved closer to him and Castiel couldn’t help bristling a bit.

 

“Yes?” he said cautiously.

 

“We need to know something and we hope you’ll be straightforward with us as you’ve always been,” Muriel said.

 

MacCready tried not to let the loaded question get to him, but he saw what was coming a mile away. It was understandable that they’d want answers, that they’d put two and two together from the relationship their fearless leader now shared with Dean and think it might not add up the way they’d expect; especially with Castiel realizing everything he had and changing something that felt part of his core beliefs. Still, he hoped they wouldn’t be causing trouble, but his fingers twitched toward the pistol on his hip, just in case.

 

“Of course,” Castiel answered, shifting a bit on his feet.  Muriel glanced behind her and sighed.

 

“Did you change your mind about the Minutemen for an actual reason, or because you’re sleeping with one?” she asked.  Castiel flinched at the bluntness of her question, his cheeks flaming from both embarrassment and anger. There was a steady hand on his shoulder and he took in a slow breath to calm himself.

 

“Muriel, you witnessed the state I was in at Jamaica Plains, you saw how I reacted towards not only Dean and Benny but MacCready-”

 

“Yes, and we also saw you getting high off of Jet as well,” Rachel said from behind Muriel.  Castiel flinched again, his eyes squeezing shut. Fuck. He hadn’t even told MacCready about that yet.

 

The urge to call Castiel out on that was strong but he forced the words back down, he’d save that for another time. They apparently had bigger fish to fry. “Look Murray, we understand why you might be upset by the change, and why you might even be concerned, but there was a lot of things explained to us that made situations in our past, in our _shared_ pasts, start to add up.”

 

Muriel frowned at the stupid nickname that MacCready insisted on calling her and crossed her arms over her stomach, “We just want to know what’s going on.  One minute we have orders to shoot on sight and the next you and Castiel are in bed with them!” she exclaimed.

 

Castiel rubbed at his forehead and held up his hands to keep everyone from arguing, “Listen, I will gladly explain everything to you.  What you need to know, right now, is that Dean and Benny aren’t what we expected when it comes to the Minutemen. Benny risked his life several times to save MacCready and Dean ran into the fray with me to save all of you when those raiders attacked the caravans!  I didn’t need to ask him, he just did it because it was the right thing to do! The fact that we’re now in a relationship with them has nothing to do with whether I trust the Minutemen or not. Cause, believe me, I’m still struggling with the fact for the past ten fucking years, I’ve been wrong!” Castiel shouted.  The small group that had followed Muriel over shrunk, their shoulders slumping forward.

 

“I’m sorry this was so sudden, it was for me as well.  What I need to know is if you are still willing to trust me?” Castiel asked.  Muriel’s face fell and she quickly shot forward to grab at Castiel’s hands.

 

“Of course we still trust you Castiel, we’re just worried that they could be taking advantage of you,” Muriel said.

 

“Well let it be known that your faith in us is truly astounding. That you think we could be so easily manipulated by pretty faces and warm bodies. Benny nearly bled out in Jamaica Plains before you got there because he took a blow that was meant for me…” MacCready paused, narrowing his gaze at their supposed friends, their community. “And as much as I hate to admit it, Dean has saved our asses a couple times too.”

 

He scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed. “Maybe next time just take a closer look at things before you let your own minds be deceived by a few passing glances from the outside of a relationship.”

 

“Castiel-”

 

“Enough, we trust Dean and Benny and it goes far beyond anything physical that we share with them.  And you know how hard that is for me. Now please, go on with your chores. I plan to visit Dean and Benny’s home, to get a real feel the other Minutemen.  If they’re anything like Dean and Benny, we may explore an alliance with them but for now, it’s just a hope,” Castiel said dismissing them. Once the small group left Castiel could feel the tension building between him and MacCready.  He didn’t want to look at his friend and see the disappointment in his face.

 

“Go find your man and get some sleep, we’ll talk more in the morning,” MacCready said, mostly letting it go because he had his own man to find. The thoughts of curling up in Benny’s arms for the night and resting was too tempting to resist. They’d leave early in the morning and not only would it be good for Castiel to deal with this, away from the community, but he also knew that if Dean was in the audience, it wouldn’t be shoved under the rug.

  


* * *

  


Things were tense the next morning.  Castiel was nervous that MacCready would open his mouth and say something stupid about what he had learned yesterday.  He was still pretty annoyed that Rachel outed him like that. It was a personal stab at him that had nothing to do with what they were even arguing about.  Muriel wanted to know where they stood and if Castiel was being manipulated while Rachel was questioning his leadership. Castiel asked Hannah to keep an eye on her, he had a strange feeling in his gut when it came to her now.

 

Castiel blinked a few times, his thoughts rushing back to the present as his foot caught on a rock and he stumbled a bit.  Dean caught his elbow and he smiled up at the man, blushing a bit at his clumsiness. Usually, he was much more focused than this but yesterday still had him pretty rattled.  MacCready’s pointed looks weren’t helping.

 

“Looks like we’re gonna have clear weather today,” Castiel said looking up at the sky, “How far does your Pipboy say we have left?”

 

“Not long, maybe an hour or so if we don’t run into troub-,”

 

“Oh man, why’d you have to do that… you know saying shit like that just _bringggs_ trouble.” MacCready said, barely resisting the urge to smack Dean upside the back of the head. If not for Benny standing between them he probably would have. Might have at least earned him that right hook the guy’d been promising.

 

He’d tried to give Castiel time to bring up his issues but it didn’t seem like he was willing on his own and while he hated to throw him under the bus, he wanted another set of eyes on him, mainly Dean’s, because they were rarely apart. He just needed to make sure he’d actually kicked the habit.

 

“Why don’t you two go on ahead and scout the area, make sure we’re not walking blind into whatever trouble Dean just brought our way,” he said to Benny, knowing there wasn’t much he could ask that his love wouldn’t provide. “We’ll be a few feet back just to keep an eye out behind us too, the last thing we need is to be surprised by somethin’ out here.”

 

Benny gave MacCready a little questioning look but shrugged, something was going on between him and Castiel and if he needed a moment then Benny would give it to him.  He quickened his steps and clapped a hand on Dean’s back, “C’mon,” he said with a huge smile.

 

Castiel swallowed hard watching Dean and Benny get a little ahead of him.  He knew what was coming and he wasn’t ready to talk about this, not yet. He dragged his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily.

 

“You tell him or I will, boss. I know better than anyone that a man has a right to privacy on some things and usually, I’d give you a little leeway. But with Dean in the picture now, I’m not always on your six and I need to know that you’re doin’ okay. _He_ needs to know that you’re doin’ okay,” MacCready said, looking at his best friend with earnest eyes and a small, sad frown, “And if something happens, gods forbid, you go through withdrawal again which I’m thinking was partly responsible for your fainting spell and recovery, he needs to know.”

 

Castiel dragged his hand down his face and nodded, “I will,  I promise. Just, let me get through this first okay-”

 

“Do you really want to break somethin’ like that to him when everyone’s watching you? Cause you know they’re going to be. You’re going to walk into that town an outsider as much as me and while I hope everyone gives us a fair shake,- well I just think it would be better to tell him out here, away from prying eyes.”

 

He huffed out a sigh, he hated this but someone really needed to watch out for Cas and neither of them had spent enough time with one another lately for that to be him. “Look I can give you tonight but if Dean doesn’t know by morning, I’ll tell him myself Castiel. I suggest you get it over with. You’ve got enough stress on your plate with all the meetings and politics that are coming, tell him here where he can freak out if he has to, and you don’t have a whole town watching.”

 

Castiel nodded, chewing on his lip to the point where he could taste blood.  He knew MacCready was right but that didn’t mean he still wanted to do this now.  Dean could very well decide that all of this wasn’t worth it, especially over someone trying to battle against withdrawal.  It wasn’t as bad as he knew it could be but Castiel still felt the itch right below the surface. Swallowing hard he nodded again, “Fine, I’ll tell him now,” he said quietly.

 

Dean scanned the area for the third time, thankfully nothing in sight.

 

“Your boyfriend is full of shit,” he said, as he turned to Benny with a disgusted look. He added a light, teasing tone to his voice before he continued, to make sure that his best friend knew he was mostly joking.“ _Him_...seriously?”

 

“What?  He’s a little shit like you,” Benny snickered, elbowing Dean in the chest, “That and I’m pretty sure it was his way to get rid of us so he can talk to Cas,” he said, nodding in their direction.

 

“Yeah, I got that...just wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s been staring Cas down all morning and I’m not a fan, whatever it is though, it’s probably bad…” Dean squinted at the bright sun, they’d been on the road for hours, but they started before it was even truly light outside. The sun was just at its peak, the bright light of the afternoon filtering directly into his line of sight.

 

“Think they’re done yet?”

 

Benny glanced over and frowned.  Castiel looked lost, almost scared and MacCready was still talking.  He waited until his boyfriend stopped and when Castiel finally nodded Benny hit Dean’s arm with the back of his hand.

 

“Yeah I think-” Benny started to say when MacCready started jogging over to them but Castiel stayed put, that lost expression still on his face.  It made him uneasy.

 

“Well I guess that’s my cue,” Dean said. The agitation and worry of the unknown was a familiar feeling in his stomach but the sight of Cas so stressed out just seemed to make it worse. Whatever it was, he wasn’t sure he could handle it at this rate. He’d never seen Cas scared but even when they were curled around one another in bed the night before, Dean could tell something was on his mind.

 

He didn’t wait for MacCready to get to them, instead, he took off in a sprint toward Cas who was looking half sick. “Hey, whatever’s eating you, we’ll work it out...right?”

 

“I hope so,” Castiel said wringing his hands together before pulling them apart out of frustration, “Look there’s no easy way to say this but I uh, I did something monumentally stupid after I pretty much kicked you out of Jamaica Plains,” he said.  His heart was thudding in his throat but he pushed through it.

 

“I-I was upset and couldn’t handle it.  I hadn’t felt like that since I was a kid and just wanted it to go away,” he ranted.

 

“Okay…” Dean said, partly assuming that he’d taken comfort in another warm body. While he wasn’t particularly pleased with that thought, Dean wasn’t about to judge the guy for something that happened before they’d had any chance to work things out. “Well, that was before we were together, whatever you think I’ll be upset about, I’m sure it's fine Cas. We all cope in different ways.”

 

Castiel shook his head, laughing a little bitterly, “It wasn’t that Dean...it was only for a couple of days but I got hooked on Jet,” he said, hugging his arms around himself.

 

Everything seemed to slow to a halt after those last words filtered into his ear. Cas wasn’t an addict, Dean had _seen_ addicts, Cas wasn’t-. He swallowed hard and took a few calming breaths before he let himself respond. He didn’t want to fly off the handle, god knows the guy looked like hell, had probably already beaten himself half to death over it and Dean couldn't bear making it any worse.

 

“How l-long,” he started, before he swallowed and asked again. “How long since you-you took it?”

 

Castiel twisted his hands around again and felt his stomach flip.  Even after his conversation with Meg he’d gotten a few more inhalers from the nurse from Jamaica Plains.

 

“My last hit was the day I met back up with you on the road.  MacCready thinks that was part of the reason why I fainted that day...I-I have no idea,” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“Well you quit, right? You quit on your own so we’ll figure it out. I’ll help you through it whatever you need from me...you got it, but I’m glad you told me, Cas. It feels like somethin I should know.”

 

“Yes, I did quit..I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner but if I’m being honest I just wanted to forget I even did that, that I was that weak.  But Rachel…” Castiel sighed and paced a little, “Her, Muriel, and a few others confronted me yesterday after my announcement. They think you’re manipulating me and Rachel brought up that they saw me high.  I hadn’t even told MacCready about it yet.”

 

“Ahh, well now that makes sense…” Dean trailed off. It was understandable that MacCready was worried about it all, not to mention that Cas hadn’t told any of them. Dean honestly couldn’t get a read on the man but he figured at least part of his attitude was due to the fact that Cas had kept it a secret. “He just wants me to keep an eye on you, and I’m glad I know but Cas...I drowned my sorrows another way but I could have made the same choice just as easily if I’d had the access.”

 

He pulled Cas into his arms, held him tight and kissed his forehead. “It’s gonna be okay, we’ll get you through it.”

 

Castiel sighed, body melting against Dean’s as his boyfriend held him close.  He allowed for the comfort to continue for a few minutes before gently pulling away, “Thank you Dean, now c’mon, lets get you two home,” he said with a soft smile.

 

They were on the road a little longer than expected, though thankfully not running into any problems. There was just a slow pace about all of them, Dean had noticed, had picked up on it but didn’t comment. He and Benny were both stalling just as much as the other two and he guessed they were all a little nervous.

 

Still, before long the familiar entrance of home greeted them.

 

“Home sweet home,” Benny said, turning to look at the others, “Welcome to Sanctuary Hills boys.” Someone on watch must have seen them, the gates were being pulled open and there was some shouting.  Benny quickly turned again to see how Castiel was doing. From the paleness in his face, Benny was guessing the poor guy was about two seconds from bolting.

 

“Dean,” Benny called out as he quickened his pace, hands held out to keep the others from rushing out to greet them.

 

Castiel had not expected that many people to rush through the gates all at once.  It made his vision blur a bit and his breathing hitched. Many of them were wearing Minutemen uniforms and Castiel had to turn away for a second, telling himself over and over again that he could do this.

 

Dean pulled his panicked lover to the side, hiding just barely behind a stronger, taller part in the wall. It wouldn’t be enough to dissuade Bobby or his mom or maybe even Sammy from coming out further to look for him but it would give him a few minutes and MacCready seemed to not be freaking out nearly as much as Cas.

 

“Hey, it’s okay... I know it’s a lot, it can be a lot for me too, but I’m right here,” he said, linking their hands together. “And I won’t let go.”

 

Castiel nodded, his fingers squeezing at Dean’s hand tightly as he slowed his breathing.  These people weren’t going to hurt him, they were Dean’s family and he trusted Dean. He licked at his dry lips, “Just...just need another minute,” he whispered.

 

“Take however long you need, sweetheart...but I can’t promise my dope of a brother won’t find...us-” he started. Before he could even finish Sam was there, smiling at him. Dean held up a hand behind Cas’ back and asked for a little more time. There was a brief hint of confusion and hurt but Sam nodded and walked back toward the gates.

 

“Dean…” Castiel sighed, letting his head fall back.  He needed to move, to get over this paralyzing fear that was keeping his feet glued to the ground.  There was a gentle press of lips against his forehead and Castiel whimpered.

 

“What do mean Dean wants us to stay back?  Why is he even hiding?” Mary asked with a laugh, moving first past Benny but Sam gently pushed her back.  There was another man in the road who looked a little too threatening that had the hair on the back of her neck standing on end.  

 

“Who are you?” she asked narrowing her eyes.

 

“Well hello to you too, ma’am, I’m-”

 

“Ma, this is MacCready,” Benny quickly interrupted, not knowing exactly what could come out of that mouth.  The tension was already too thick and Mary was feeling threatened. Not a good mix.

 

“Benny, where is Dean?” she asked keeping her eyes on the man who was smiling a little too wide.

 

“Just give him a minute okay?  We’ll explain everything inside.  Can you please get everyone back?”

 

“Ben-”

 

“Ma, please?” he asked, using his best pout on her.  Mary scoffed, rolling her eyes fondly but did as he asked.  Benny sighed, running a hand over his face, “Is he okay?” Benny asked turning back to MacCready.

 

“He’ll cope, Castiel is good at that...just might take a minute, that’s probably what it is, he’s just gotta give himself a minute to get used to it all,” MacCready answered, only marginally grateful that Benny’d interrupted him. Though he didn’t like that look she’d given him when she’d first laid eyes on him. It spoke volumes and he was a little worried that the same one would be directed at Castiel.

 

Benny nodded, not making a move to get closer to the gates.  Castiel and MacCready needed the support more than anything and he could see the gratefulness in MacCready’s eyes when Benny shuffled closer.  He squeezed at the man’s fingers and smiled.

 

Castiel blew out a breath and opened his eyes, everything had stopped spinning and colors were no longer muddled together, “I’m okay,” he said softly, moving away from the wall.  Their hands were still clasped together and he wondered if he should try to let go. Though when he tried Dean squeezed his fingers.

 

“You alright?” Benny asked once they were joined with them.

 

Castiel straightened his back and felt the usual calm that covered him like internal armor when he met with the other settlements slide into place, “I’m good,” he said with a firm nod.  MacCready shared a look with him and then Castiel gestured with a head tilt for Dean to continue leading the way.

 

“Alrighty then, let’s go,” Dean said with a wide grin, ushering Cas through the gates and into his home. Being in Sanctuary Hills felt different with Cas at his side, their hands threaded together giving the allusion of a warm safety net.

* * *

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, from here on out, things get a bit "weird" and more of the sci-fi feel that we tagged for lol.

* * *

 

Mary watched as her son walked through the gates hand in hand with someone.  It didn’t matter who her son chose to love but it was still shocking to see it this quickly.  And if this was the same kid that Bobby had told her about...it could easily spell trouble for them.  Especially Dean. She moved over to them and instantly embraced her son, “I’m so glad you’re home,” she said softly.  

 

Castiel took a step back from them, giving them a moment as he looked around.  MacCready was close to him like he always was but Castiel drew more strength from it than he usually had to.  

 

“Yeah, me too mom,” Dean said softly, hugging his mother with one arm and gripping tightly at Cas’ hand so he didn’t get too far away. When she finally pulled back Dean smiled at her, raw and real, “Mom, this is Castiel. Cas, this is my mom, Mary Winchester.” 

 

Mary eyed the kid and finally stuck her hand out to which he too, squeezing but not too hard.  It eased something in her chest a bit and she nodded at him, “Hello Castiel, welcome to Sanctuary Hills,” she said.

 

Castiel nodded back, “Thank you,” he said.

 

Mary waited for him to continue but when he didn’t she pursed her lips and turned back to Dean, “You need to go speak with Bobby but before that, we need to talk.  Alone,” she said.

 

“Can’t it wait til we get settled in? It’s just this is...a lot sometimes, you know how it is. The welcoming committee can be a bit much. I’ll go check in, let Bobby see us, introduce Cas, but then we need some time, k?” Dean asked, pleading with his mother through his eyes and hoping she’d understand how badly he needed this, how badly Cas did. The guy was trying, and doing a damn good job of it but even Dean was overwhelmed. 

 

Mary frowned and shook her head, “Now, Dean,” she said firmly.  

 

“Mom-”

 

“Not now Sam,” Mary snapped.

 

“But why can’t-”

 

“Samuel!” 

 

Castiel flinched hard at the name, his hand gripping tightly to Dean’s as he took in a steadying breath.  Someone was whispering that it was okay and it took a long moment to realize it was both Dean and MacCready.

 

“Dean...it’s-it’s okay.  I’ll be fine,” he said swallowing hard.

 

He didn’t want to go, didn’t want to leave Cas, not even with MacCready. He just...it was his mom, so he couldn’t exactly say no. “I will be... _ right back _ .” 

 

Without any concern for the people around, Dean pulled Castiel in and claimed his mouth, slow, mostly innocent and chaste but he needed the comfort. “It’s going to be fine, Benny will stay here with you too and-” Dean cut himself off, turning to find Sam. “Hey Sammy, c’mere, Sam this is Cas, Cas this is my dorky lil bro, Sam...anything happens to him and I will personally shave your head while you sleep and give the long, luscious locks to Becky.” 

 

Sam’s face paled but he nodded, instantly becoming a bit protective over this new guy.  If he was that important to his older brother then that meant something, “Heya Cas, wanna come see my workshop?” Sam asked with a big smile.  

 

Castiel nodded slowly, a little smile working its way onto his face, “I’d like that,” he said, looking back at Dean and nodded.  MacCready and Benny stayed close to him as they moved through the place towards what he was assuming was Dean’s little brother’s workshop.

 

Mary watched the entire scene with a frown.  Dean had only been gone a week and he was already acting as if this guy was his whole world.  Her son was much too young for this kind of thing. Wasn’t he? He turned to her with a touch of anger in his eyes and Mary sighed, moving away from the others to get her son alone.

 

“Explain yourself son.  You come back home in the middle of the night and then take off again first thing in the morning.  To Goodneighbor of all places and then don’t come home for over a week? No radio calls, nothing. Then you come back with...whoever they are.  One I’m pretty damn sure is a hired gun, am I right? And if he is, why the hell is he with you?” Mary rattled on, her voice getting louder by the end.

 

Dean immediately went defensive. It wasn’t like his mother to get so worked up or so angry but still, when it came to Cas he was vulnerable and sensitive in a way he wasn’t with anything else, except maybe Sammy. 

 

He pulled away from her and looked back at someone he didn’t know, someone who wasn’t his mother. Because the woman standing in front of him right now seemed completely unfamiliar and downright suspicious of him. His instincts screamed threat at a parent for the first time since John was left behind them. 

 

“First, _ Mary _ . I’m old enough to make my own choices about when I come back and when I leave and how long I stay gone. Secondly, Mac  _ was _ a hired gun, emphasis on the word  _ was _ ...and those reasons are his own personal business but I would think it’s something even  _ you _ wouldn’t judge him for, but I guess I’m learning all kinds of new things about you,” Dean said, an angry bitterness clung to his mouth long after the words left. 

 

“I don’t have to answer to you anymore, mom...I don’t, if you don’t want us staying at the house, we’ll crash at Bobby’s or Benny’s or somewhere but I’m not doing this with you-.” Dean cursed and kicked at the dirt beneath his feet. 

 

“Y’know I was so damn excited to bring him home, to have him meet you and Sammy and well everybody, but now I’m starting to think maybe he had the right idea about us and it would be better for him if he’d never agreed to come here.” 

 

Mary flinched as if she’d been slapped.  Her son had never spoken to her this way and wasn’t exactly sure how to react to this new behavior.  Shaking her head she looked around for a moment, trying to collect herself. 

 

“What do you mean he was right about  _ us _ ?” she asked finally looking back at him.

 

“Well I guess you’d just have to ask him,  _ nicely,  _ if you really wanna know,” Dean said, not bothering to give her any more of his time. Clearly, the woman was losing her damn mind if she thought that was in any way acceptable. He walked away, ignoring her calling out to him until he found Bobby in the crowd. 

 

The man pulled him into a hug and Dean took it willingly. “Good to see you old man,” he started, shaking his head when Bobby smacked him upside the back of it, gently. “Cas and I might crash with you for a bit if you don’t mind, something’s going on with mom and I don’t like it.” 

 

Bobby frowned, glancing over at Mary who was glaring at Dean before turning on her heel, “Hmph, I’ll talk to her.  This got somethin to do with the two boys you came back with?” Bobby asked with a half grin. He’d walked past Sam’s warehouse, hearing the kid talking a mile a minute.  Bobby barely peeked his head in to see Sam talking to Benny and two others Bobby never met before. The excited whispers he overheard on his way to find Dean only told him so much.

 

“I guess, you’d think she’d be fu-friggin’ happy for me,” Dean said, shaking his head. Before he just barrelled in and expected things to go smoothly, he turned to Bobby with a bit of a frown on his lips. “You don’t..you don’t have any problems with this; Benny and I bringing a couple guys back, guys we care about...do you?”

 

“Nah kiddo.  Never mattered who you chose to be with Dean, the only thing we...including your mother only ever cared about was what kind of person they are.  Is this the same guy you said you thought you were in love with?” Bobby said moving to sit down at one of the tables, gesturing for Dean to join him, “The guy from Sommerville?”

 

Dean nodded, “He’s got some uh, not so great memories of the Minutemen but he’s willing to put those aside and give us a chance, which is probably more than I’d do in his position,” he admitted, scratching at his head a bit. He wasn’t really keen on exposing Castiel’s weak points, not even to Bobby, but he needed to understand the score. “I just, I don’t need him to be around anyone that’s got a chip on their shoulder right now.” 

 

“I know you’re pissed kid but give her a minute.  I’m not giving her any excuses but she’s still your momma Dean.  I’m sure she got a bit triggered too when she saw that hired gun,” Bobby said with a knowing look, “She probably got scared and got defensive about it.  It’s one of her worst fears kiddo. That the Gunners will find you and recruit or kill you because of what happened with John.”

 

Dean nodded, doing the best to reassure Bobby he’d try...but damned if he’d let her pull that shit with Cas. Finally, with a bright smile, Dean headed for the door of Sam’s workshop. “Alright, c’mon in, I got someone I want you to meet.” 

 

Bobby shook his head but got up from the table to follow Dean anyway.  He had a feeling he’d have to throw Dean and Mary into a room and make them shout at each other to solve their issues.  Bobby froze when he walked through the door. Sam never let anyone touch his inventions, especially ones he’d been working on for months.  The one who he was assuming was tied to Dean was bent over one of said inventions, face inches away from the machinery as he tinkered with it.

 

“Dean!  He...he got it to work for like, two seconds!” Sam shouted excitedly, running over to yank on Dean’s arm to get him closer.

 

“He’s good at stuff like that, fixing what’s broken,” he said, trying very hard not to laugh at Sam’s bubbling eagerness. His brother was such a dork but seeing him be so...so, warm and accepting and well everything he was in that moment, it made Dean feel about ten feet tall. It was everything he’d hoped for and more. 

 

“Bobby, this is Cas..and that’s MacCready but nobody really likes him so..” 

 

MacCready rolled his eyes at Dean but he didn’t move beyond that, somethin’ told him rushing forward, even with his hand out for a shake, wouldn’t be seen as friendly. He knew what he looked like, what impression he gave, and not that  _ he  _ gave a damn about what these people thought of him, but he knew Benny would. “And you’re Mr. Popularity.” 

 

“Hey, people love me, asshole,” Dean said, though the words came out more fondly than he’d anticipated.

 

“And hey, I kinda like him,” Benny teased, hip checking MacCready on his way to clean out some crates Sam had asked him to do.

 

Castiel tried to not grip the metal pieces in his hands to tightly as he took in a deep breath.  This man was someone very important to Dean and he didn’t want to screw this up. He straightened up and swallowed hard, “Hello,” he said.

 

Bobby nodded to each of them, “Welcome to Sanctuary Hills, boys. ‘S good to have you here. Ground rules are the same for everybody, you work at least an hour a day if you want to be fed, Dean and Benny can help figure out where you’d be best suited. Then we’ve got training if you wanna join in or just watch, that’s fine too, that part is optional. Newbies  _ and guests _ eat dinner in the dining hall with everyone else, your other meal times are your own. Any questions?” 

 

MacCready half raised his hand, “Was Dean always that ugly or did he grow into it?” 

 

“I will punch you in your face, keep it up.” 

 

Sam threw his head back and cracked up, “I’m with you Benny, I like him!” 

 

* * *

  
  


A couple days later Castiel found himself sitting back on the steps of the small cabin Bobby had given Dean and Benny.  Guilt tore through him a bit every time he thought about how it was his fault that Dean felt he had to move out of the house he shared with his mother and little brother.  Bobby acted as if this was something he’d been planning but Castiel couldn’t help it. Especially when Mary kept glaring at him across the way. 

 

Despite Mary, things were going well.  People were slowly introduced to him, not rushing him like he was afraid they would.  From what he could tell from the very short conversations he was having with them, they all seemed nice.  Even MacCready seemed to be having fun in their training sessions. Castiel opted to stay with Sam in his warehouse when he wasn’t tagging along with Dean.  

 

They’d just had dinner and now he was waiting for Dean to come back.  It was hard for him to rest without his boyfriend near him, a deep aching in his bones.  It was a completely different withdrawal, one he didn’t think he’d survive for a long period of time.

 

He was about to give up and go into the house when he finally saw Dean making his way over to him.

 

“Hey sweetheart, sorry I’m late.” He leaned down to kiss at Cas’ lips softly and found himself pulled in for a long, needy kiss. Dean indulged his beautiful lover and smiled against his lips. When they finally broke away, they were both a little breathless. “That was probably a mistake if it means you kiss me like that I might just be late more often.” 

 

“How about I kiss you like that even if you come back on time?” Castiel smiled, letting Dean pull him up to his feet.  His arms instantly went around Dean’s neck, sighing as he was pulled in for a hug, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today but I missed you,” he laughed, turning his head to press his face into Dean’s neck.

 

“I guess if that’s your diagnosis, there’s something wrong with me too,” he chuckled. “Cause I missed you like crazy sweetheart.”

 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and held him tightly. He hated the thoughts of Cas just sitting and idly waiting for him, but he guessed he should make things a bit clearer. Whispering softly, Dean told him how he felt.“You know, if you ever need me… you can come get me. There is  _ nothing _ here, or anywhere else, that is more important to me than you.” 

 

Castiel melted against Dean, lips brushing along his neck before pulling back just enough to look up into those impossibly green eyes, “C’mon,” he said, gently pulling on Dean’s hand to get him inside.  MacCready and Benny were off doing whatever it was they were doing so they had the house to themselves for a little while at least. Instead of crashing on the couch he went straight for their bedroom.

 

He didn’t care that Dean was a bit on the dirtier side, he shoved the man onto the lumpy mattress and instantly crawled into his lap, “Need you,” he groaned, surging forward to kiss him deeply.

 

“Damn bab-ungh,” Dean grunted under the pleasure of Castiel grinding against him. It was like heaven but there was something, off about it all that had Dean reluctantly grabbing Cas’ hips and stilling them. He pulled away a little until Cas was staring down at him, big blue eyes blown wide. 

 

“Hey, hey… what’s wrong?” 

 

Castiel squirmed in Dean’s lap, trying to get closer but Dean wouldn’t let him.  He groaned pitifully, “Nothings wrong Dean, just need you,” he said gripping at Dean’s shirt.  The more he paid attention to that itch the more intense it became. He’d never felt this before where his whole body burned and only Dean’s touch could cool it.  There was a deep ache settling between his legs and he ground down on Dean’s lap the best he could even with the man trying to hold him still.

 

“I need you inside of me,” he whispered.

 

Dean swallowed, “Okay, we-I can work with that but you gotta talk to me a minute first, why now? Is it..-” Dean cut himself off before he could take it further. He didn’t want to rub salt in the man’s wounds but he also needed to know if something else was going on because it sure as hell seemed like it. “You just seem,  _ different  _ right now and I don’t want to mess this up.” 

 

Castiel fought the urge to roll his eyes and cupped Dean’s face, “I’m going to put this a bluntly as I can, I feel like a bitch in heat and really need you to fuck me.  Now,” he growled out.

 

“Well okay then..” Dean said, a little thrown but Castiel was consenting, enthusiastically, his eyes clear if not a little lust blown. That was all he needed, Dean reached up, pulling at the clasps on Cas’ pants until he could finally release him, his long cock snapping up, hard against his stomach. 

 

Dean licked his lips, “Fuck, you weren’t kidding.” 

 

“No, I wasn’t,” Castiel huffed, sucking hard on Dean’s bottom lip, “I’m sure tomorrow I’ll be back to  _ normal _ ,” he teased scrambling to get Dean’s shirt off.  It fell to a heap on the floor and Castiel groaned in the back of his throat before leaning in to suck on one of Dean’s nipples while the man struggled to get Castiel’s pants completely off.  They got stuck around his knees but impatience was coursing through both of them so they left them there for the time being.

 

Dean used the moment to try to stretch Cas, though he couldn’t quite see what was happening from the current angle. Cas was practically riding him through his pants and Dean could barely keep his eyes open, much less raise his head. He blindly reached into his pillowcase for the small container of slick he kept for the rare occasions he actually had the ability to take his time.

 

He covered his finger in it and moved until he could reach underneath Cas, sliding in just a bit. Dean was surprised to find that Cas was already flexing tightly around him but not, not in the same way at least. It felt different. The scent of something sweet and warm hit his nose and he froze.  “Cas-ssweetheart, I-” He felt around a bit more and swallowed when he realized that despite the small amount of slick he’d put on his finger, there was something else, warm and wet dripping down onto his hand. “I think, you’re-are you l-leaking?” 

 

Castiel was so wrapped up in nibbling along Dean’s chest he almost didn’t hear him, “Wha-Oh fuck!” Castiel cried out as Dean’s fingers brushed over that intensely sensitive spot between his dick and balls.  Though now, it felt different. Really...really different. He gasped as Dean touched him there again and nearly passed out with how fast the oxygen left his lungs when the tip of a finger pushed  _ in. _

 

“What...what the fuck?” he said, almost asking Dean to stop but mainly because it felt too good.

 

“You-sweetheart, I-I don’t know what to call it but you um, you’ve got another hole-I-” Dean sputtered as he fumbled, feeling a little panicked. The warm wetness dripping down on him felt the same as it had when he’d fingered Rhonda Hurley behind the old shed after her sixteenth birthday party. 

 

Castiel’s mouth dropped open.  He half expected himself to freak out, to pull away from Dean completely but he didn’t.  Instead, he bit his lip and rolled his hips down to get Dean’s finger deeper. It felt even better than getting fucked in his ass and they were only getting started.  He tilted Dean’s face up and kissed him, slowly licking his way into his boyfriend’s mouth, “Is it freaking you out?” he asked.

 

“Well a little, but it’s more about the fact that you’re  _ not _ freaking out… It’s your body sweetheart I just-I wanna make sure you’re okay,” Dean said, the hand that wasn’t currently soaking with Cas’ juices came up to caress his cheek. “Whatever you want from me, I’ll give it.” 

 

“It’s just strange.  I always knew I was extremely sensitive there but never imagined...well, this!” Castiel laughed a little breathlessly.  Dean pressed a bit deeper and Castiel’s eyes fluttered shut as his head tilted back with a loud moan, “It feels so good though.  If it’s too weird, you can just ignore it. I just want you Dean,” he said.

 

Dean let out a small, somewhat nervous chuckle before he asked, “Cas, just tell me what you want...do you want me to, do you want me there?” 

 

Castiel bit his lip and fidgeted in Dean’s lap, the finger inside him had stopped moving but the pressure was still mouthwatering good. It was then he realized that the ache he’d felt earlier originated from that area and the mere thought of Dean pushing into him had him shuddering hard as a new wave of slick that he could now feel spread out over Dean’s finger.

 

“Yes, yes,” Castiel gasped.

 

“Okay sweetheart, just, just let me make sure I won’t hurt you,” he said, sliding in another finger. The tight, clenching pressure around the one finger had subsided almost immediately but when he pressed for two it came back. Hot and wet, and so fucking tight it nearly had him busting out of his pants, not to mention the smell of it was intense in a way he’d never imagined. “Fuck, sweetheart, you’re-ungh, you’re so tight.”

 

Castiel nodded, focusing on how good it felt and trying to ignore the slight discomfort.  To distract himself he kissed Dean again, pushing his tongue into the other man’s mouth as his fingers wove their way through his hair.  It was enough to begin rolling his hips down on Dean’s fingers. When a third one joined the other two he pulled back with a whine, “Oh God, don’t stop,” he panted.

 

Dean smirked, cause he finally got Castiel opened up enough that he was sure he could slide in without hurting the guy, or at least he hoped he could. The smug grin faded a bit at that thought but he didn’t let it deter him. Cas knew his body, even if it was a bit odd, and if he wanted Dean there, then he was sure as hell gonna give it a whirl. “I need you to help me out of my pants sweetheart, then you gotta promise you’ll tell me to stop if anything hurts okay? I don’t want to hurt you.” 

 

“I will, promise,” Castiel said, scrambling to get Dean’s pants undone.  They wrestled around a bit until they were completely naked and sprawled out on the bed, Dean between his legs and hovering over him.  Castiel dragged his hand down Dean’s chest and belly to grip him tightly, stroking until Dean was twitching. 

 

Dean swallowed, “Okay, let’s do this,” he said, trying to smile through the nerves. He really really hoped that he wasn’t about to break his boyfriend. He lined himself up, slowly rubbing the tip of his cock around the rim of Castiel’s leaking hole and gently eased it in. He waited, half terrified something would happen but Cas just begged for more.

 

It was odd, normally he’d be so focused on the pleasure swarming him that he wouldn’t be able to think straight but making sure he didn’t hurt Cas seemed to override everything else as he slowly, eased his way deeper and deeper until he bottomed out.

 

All the air got locked up in his lungs, forgetting how to breathe for a second as Dean filled him to the brink.  It was almost to the point of too much. His fingers dug into Dean’s shoulders as he fought against the invisible weight on his chest.  It wasn’t until Dean rolled his hips slowly that he could finally breathe, the air coming in ragged and choked, “Oh God,” he whimpered.

 

“You good, sweetheart? I-I know it’s a lot but I need you to stay with me,” Dean said, half fighting off his own weak noises. It was overwhelmingly amazing, the feel of Cas warm and wet around him, squeezing and writhing in pleasure. He just had to hold on, Dean pictured every awful thing he could think of to keep himself from spilling instantly. He wanted so badly to make it last to give Cas what he needed but the feel of him, that goddamn smell, had him on edge before he’d even started. 

 

Castiel nodded his head vigorously, “Yes, yes I’m good.  Please move Dean, please,” he begged, spreading his legs a little more.  Dean kissed him softly before finally giving him a real thrust of his hips.  Castiel nearly yelped at the zing of pleasure that ripped through him, curling his toes.

 

“Yes, yes, yes right there Dean!” Castiel arched his back off the bed and gripped tightly onto Dean’s back and shoulders.

 

Unable to hold back any longer, Dean finally gave into Cas’ demands and began to hammer his hips forward. It felt unlike anything he’d ever experienced and he needed something, more somehow. He just..Dean reached down and pulled Cas’ hands into his own, squeezed tightly at this connection, this intimacy they were sharing, and he rocked forward. “C’mon, sweetheart, just let go...wanna see you cum.” 

 

Castiel was overwhelmed with the pleasure crashing through him.  With each thrust came a new pulse and thanks to Dean’s fingers through his he had something to cling to.  Something to ground him. He wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer and Dean proved that with a new angle of his hips and Castiel screamed out Dean’s name as the orgasm ripped through him, leaving him gasping and his vision completely whited out.

 

It wasn’t long after he watched the hot white ropes shoot up Castiel’s stomach before Dean lost what little control he had. A couple messy thrusts and he spilled hard and fast pulses that left him shaking from the intensity. He slumped forward when he no longer had the strength to hold himself up and Cas clung to him even harder as he tried his best to catch his breath. 

 

Castiel’s vision came back slowly, along with the feeling in the rest of his body.  The heavyweight of his boyfriend on top of him pulled out a deep sated moan from his lips and he hugged Dean closer, wrapping his legs and arms around him to keep him right there.  

 

It took a very long time for either of them to move, for Dean to pull out of him slowly while both of them winced.  Castiel was sore but in a pleasant way that would remind him what they had done for a few days. 

 

“That was amazing,” he hummed, dragging his fingers through Dean’s hair.  

 

“Mmn,” he said in agreement, still feeling more than a little blissful. 

 

“You’re amazing,” he said, once he felt like he could speak again. Even for him that had been a hell of an orgasm. Dean couldn’t remember ever having felt like that, so complete and satisfied in an entirely new way. “Love you,” he said, kissing at whatever skin he could find, mostly Cas’ chest.

 

Castiel swallowed hard, his throat becoming incredibly tight, “I-I love you too,” he whispered, turning his head to kiss Dean’s cheek.  It wasn’t until Dean’s arms wound tighter around him that he realized just how much he was shaking.

 

“I’m okay, promise,” Castiel said, dragging his thumbs across Dean’s cheekbones, “It’s just overwhelming.  I never thought I could ever have something like this. It’s like you’re picking up the pieces of me and helping glue them together,” he whispered.

 

Dean blushed a little, unfamiliar and feeling undeserving of such praise. Still, he didn’t argue. As long as Cas was good that’s all he cared about. “Yeah, I don’t -I’m not usually good at the sweet stuff or whatever but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

 

Castiel grinned, “Oh I think you did that just fine,” he teased as they got more comfortable.  Castiel ended up on his side, Dean molded to his back with barely a breath of space between their bodies.  In the back of his mind, he knew he should be a little more worried than he was at the moment about his body.  He’d never heard of something like this happening to another man and doubted any doctor in the Commonwealth would have an inkling about it either.   It was definitely something he’d look into later, now he was comfortable with cuddling with Dean.

* * *

 


	15. Chapter 15

* * *

 

She’d watched as those two  _ strangers _ webbed their way into the fabric of Sanctuary Hills. Even Bobby seemed taken in by them but there was definitely something  _ off _ about the man her son had brought home. Just something in the way he spoke and acted that rubbed her raw, like it was a show. She’d seen the eyes of a killer before and while John’s were a bright hazel, there was still the same icy quality hidden within. 

 

Still, she had enough of her father in her to find the ice herself when necessary. 

 

Not to mention the way Dean just can’t seem to tear himself away. She’d invited him for a quiet lunch but he’d insisted that this boy, man whatever, joined them. Mary didn’t understand. They couldn’t have possibly known one another more than a couple weeks but Dean was treating him as if he were the only person in the world that mattered. 

 

 

How had her son become so easily manipulated?

 

She would get to the bottom of what was going on, one way or another. 

 

Mary found her chance when she caught him alone in the garden, just before dawn. 

 

“What are you lookin’ for? Maybe I could help you find it," she offered as she tried to hide the bitterness she felt. 

 

Castiel jumped a little at the sound of her voice but gave her a small smile, “Bobby asked me to draw up a water system that resembles the one we use at my home.  Since you have a natural water source, it shouldn’t be too difficult,” he said making a few sketches on the paper he had resting on a clipboard.

 

“Well, that’s nice of you, to go out of your way to help people you don’t even know, people who mean nothing to you…” 

 

Castiel frowned, turning to face her fully, “This is Dean’s home, where his family is and I care deeply for him.  So, of course, I’m going to help where needed. Even if that wasn’t the case I would still help if asked,” he said with a tilt of his head.  Mary didn’t like him, that much was extremely obvious whether Dean wanted to admit it or not. Castiel still couldn’t understand why when everyone else in Dean’s life seemed to enjoy his company.  Especially Sam. Working with the youngest Winchester in his workshop had to be one of Castiel’s favorite parts of the day. 

 

“Can I be honest with you,  _ Castiel _ ?” she said, not waiting for him to answer before bulldozing forward. “I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not really proud of, but all if it was to protect my son, my sons. It’s not easy to leave a man you love, even if you know you have to, kind of...hollows a person out inside, makes it harder to feel.” 

 

“If I find out that you’re doing something to my son, that you’re-that you’re a threat to him…” Mary let her eyes go cold and her smile manic, “Well it won’t be pretty.” 

 

Castiel wasn’t phased as Mary’s face went cold, two could play at that.  He let his own shields slide into place, his eyes going cold and dead as he took a step closer to Mary, grinning as the woman took one to keep the distance between them, “I’m not a danger to Dean so you can keep your threats to yourself,  _ Mary _ ,” he said, a slight growl edging his words.

 

“You’ve known Dean for less than two weeks and you think that means something? That  _ you _ mean anything to him? I’m his  _ family _ , you’re nothing but a good time. He’ll come to his senses once I get him away from you,” she said through gritted teeth. “You bring a  _ gunner _ into my home and you think I’m just gonna roll over and play dead?” 

 

Castiel clenched his fists, “He is  _ not _ a gunner.  He’s been my second for years now,” he spat out, throwing the clipboard onto a nearby table.

 

“And honestly, you shouldn’t be giving me or MacCready so much shit about this seeing as how your own father is the leader of them.  Oh yeah, I know all about him,” Castiel said through clenched teeth. Before she could speak he got right up in her face, eyes blazing into hers, “Your father  _ murdered  _ my family.”

 

Mary felt as if she’d been stabbed in the chest but she didn’t let the wound stop her. Not when it came to Dean, she’d come back from the damn grave if it meant keeping her son safe. “I’ll admit my father was not a good man,  _ Castiel _ but I don’t trust you, and I’ll figure out a way to stop whatever spell you’ve put on my son.” 

 

Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his mom, the person who he thought he loved more than anyone else in the world, and she was tearing his heart to shreds just to try to hurt Cas. They were both ready to fight, hurling words at one another like they were daggers and slicing him up in the process. 

 

“Enough!” 

 

Castiel jerked back the second he heard Dean’s voice.  The coldness in his eyes melting away but it was quickly replaced by shame.  He’d let this woman get under his skin where he should have walked away. His chest heaved as he drew in a breath, “Dean…” he swallowed hard and looked down at the ground, not even sure if Dean was angry with him now.

 

Dean was shaking with rage at the two of them, though almost all of it was directed at Mary. She’d been like this since the moment he came back and he was done with it. He stepped forward, steps calculated and even until he reached Castiel’s side. “I don’t know what your fuckin’ problem is,  _ Mary _ but you can deal with that on your own. Cas hasn’t done anything to me, he’s not hurting me and if you’d open your damn eyes you could see that yourself.” 

 

“Jesus, the last few days, with you, it’s felt like living with dad all over again.” 

 

Mary flinched, that had cut deeper than anything Castiel had said to her. 

 

“I’m not playing around here, mom...Cas has a lot of shit on his plate taking care of a huge chunk of The Commonwealth. He’s important to a lot of people, not just me.-” Dean paused, grating out the words that felt like sandpaper in his throat. “I’m willing to take a backseat to that, but if you’re dead set on being this way, I guess we’ll have to find somewhere else to call home.” 

 

Castiel felt sick, his stomach churning dangerously.  He quickly gripped at Dean’s hand, already shaking his head, “Dean, no-” he swallowed hard, refusing to look over at the almost smug look on Mary’s face.  Dean leaving his home for him had never been something he wanted. He had come to the realization that he was perfectly fine traveling between their settlements, hell he was used to it.  He figured Dean could do the same but to take him away completely? There were still countless others here in Sanctuary who needed Dean, even if the man himself didn’t see it. Castiel knew it would break the old man’s heart.  Sam...well, maybe he could come with. Castiel shook his head again and sighed heavily, the steel rods moving to cage his heart back in.

 

“You can’t leave your family,” he whispered.

 

“I wouldn’t feel safe somewhere that you’re not welcome...it wouldn’t feel right,” Dean promised, kissing softly at Cas’ hand in his. He wanted more than anything to be able to come back to the place that raised him, the house that built him so to speak, but he wouldn’t do it if it meant putting Cas at risk. He’d take Sam with him and keep in touch with Bobby and a few others, but he’d be damned if he was going to let his mother drive a wedge between him and the man he loved. 

 

“Besides, Sam is old enough to make his own choice about where he wants to be and we can radio Bobby if we need anything… there’s no reason for me to have to be here, I just-I wanted to, but I want you more.” 

 

Mary felt the walls of her chest crumbling in as she listened to her son basically making the decision to leave with Sam.  She couldn’t let both of her sons leave, not like this. She’d already lost her husband to the Commonwealth...losing Dean and Sam would be her ultimate end.  

 

“Wait...wait,” Mary begged, taking a step closer.  She hated the wariness in her son's eyes and she only had herself to blame, “Please, let me apologize,” she said.

 

Castiel swallowed hard, his fingers clinging to Dean’s as he regarded the woman in front of him.  It’d been hard being near her because of who her father was but since Castiel gave Dean a chance...he had to give the same to Mary.  But only if she was willing to do the same for him and MacCready.

 

“I’m not a Gunner and neither is MacCready.  He was one but he left, changed the moment I gave him a different mission to hold his weapon for.  At fi,rst it was to take revenge on those who ruined our lives and took our families from us. Now it’s to save settlements from our pasts.  Gunners took everything from me and for the longest time I blamed both the Minutemen and The Brotherhood of Steel. Dean has helped me see differently.  I owe this new freedom to your son and I will protect him with my life,” Castiel said firmly, his hands only shaking just a bit in Dean’s. He didn’t like laying out his demons to a stranger but if it helped this situation, he’d do it.

 

Mary stared between Castiel and Dean, her head nodding once before she placed a hand on her chest to still her fiercely beating heart, “I’m sorry.  For what my father did to you and I’m grateful that you’re not holding that against Dean. I hope you can forgive me for my behavior, it’s always been a deep seeded fear of mine that the Gunners will try and take Dean from me.  That Samuel still wants him badly enough to-”

 

“Send someone in to manipulate him?” Castiel asked.  

 

“Yes...exactly,” Mary said sadly.  

 

“Mom, I get that you want to protect me, I’d want the same for you but I’m not a kid anymore and you’ve got to learn to trust me and the decisions I make. I’m gonna screw up sometimes, sure..but Cas isn’t a mistake and he’s not temporary…” Dean said, his blood pumping harder and faster than if he’d been in an actual fight. 

 

“I know it’s only been a short time but you don’t know how badly we’ve had to fight to get this, to have something between us. It’s not been easy for either of us.” 

 

Mary winced and nodded, “I’m sorry I ever said that,” she said quietly, looking down at the ground before taking in a deep breath, “I don’t want you to feel unsafe here Castiel, will you give me another chance?  The both of you?” Mary asked. 

 

Castiel bit his lip and nodded, wanting to do anything that could help dislodge this wedge between them.  Coming between Dean and Mary wasn’t something he ever wanted to happen. 

 

“I will,” Castiel answered. 

 

“I-I don’t know, you’ve got a few more days to get to know him, to make up for all this, then we’ll talk. I wasn’t supposed to have to deal with this shit from you, mom. Not from you.” Dean said, tugging at Castiel’s hand until they were moving back toward the small hut they shared with Benny and Mac, who was surprisingly growing on him. 

 

“Sorry...for all that, I wanted things to be easier for you here, better..” 

 

“Dean,” Castiel sighed softly, moving them over to the couch to sit down.  Because both of them were tense Castiel opted to just crawl into Dean’s lap, his head going straight to his shoulder as his boyfriend hugged around him tightly.

 

“You don’t have to apologize, things will get better.  She just needs time, like I do. And you have made things easier,” he said.

 

“I don’t care where we go, if we come back...not as long as I’ve got you. I don’t...I don’t  _ need _ anything else,” Dean said, kissing softly at the side of Cas’ head. “I mean sure, I’d like it if we could split our time up a bit, make a home here the same as we could make one at the beach or wherever else you need to go, I liked Jamaica Plains honestly… well until you kicked me out,” he said with a small huff of laughter to show that he was teasing and not upset about it anymore. 

 

Castiel smiled, “I’d like that too.  I want my home in Nordhagen to be yours as well.  It would be nice to have more firepower on the roads when we go visit the other settlements too if that’s what you wanted to do of course,” Castiel said quickly, “I need to be heading out of here soon.  I was going to go back to Nordhagen but there’s...there’s a really good doctor at Finch Farm that I want to talk to,” he said, a blush warming his cheeks. Ever since that night, they’d been intimate almost every single evening.  He still felt like the same Castiel but he couldn’t deny the change in his body and not in just that spot. Something strange was going on and it wasn’t smart or safe to put it off any longer.

 

“Sure, whenever you’re ready just let me know. I go where you go, remember?” Dean teased, pulling Cas in for a small kiss. “C’mon, I’m gonna go fix us an early breakfast...you’ve been up for a while now and you need to eat.” 

 

* * *

  
  


Castiel chewed on his thumb nail as he paced around the house.  They were going to be leaving in the morning to head out to Finch Farm but there was something nagging at Castiel.  He didn’t want to bring it up now that he and MacCready were both with someone but he had to know. 

 

Thankfully he was going to get his chance to talk to his best friend without either Dean or Benny in the house for at least an hour or so.  The screen door pulled open and Castiel turned to find MacCready smiling softly as he laid his gear on the table they had set out for such things right by the door.

 

“Hey RJ...can we talk for a sec?” he asked.

 

“Sure boss, what’s up?” he asked, as he rolled his shoulders and stretched a bit. Training with the minutemen wannabes had been giving him quite the workout, not that he still couldn’t kick their little asses, but it wasn’t as easy as he’d expected. Or hell, maybe just the years catching up with him, he’d lived a rough life and the last five years felt like ten most days. 

 

Castiel cleared his throat and sat down, waiting for MacCready to sit next to him before his hands began to fidget in his lap, “I um...there’s something I need to ask you and it’s going to be incredibly inappropriate and awkward seeing as how we’re both in a relationship now,” he said chewing on his lip again.

 

“Okay…” he said, slowing his steps immediately. He was a bit on edge with the way Castiel was phrasing things but he figured it was best to get on with it, so he gestured with his hand and said, “What is it?” 

 

He could do this, he needed information and MacCready possibly had the answer he was looking for.  Didn’t make this any easier. Castiel took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, “It’s about when we would...have sex,” he said in a rush.  He sensed more than saw MacCready tense up and Castiel quickly continued, “Did you uh, did you ever you know, notice anything...strange? About me?  Down there?” he asked avoiding MacCready’s eyes at all costs.

 

Maccready tried not to, but he couldn’t help it. He chuckled. “Castiel, you’ve never been what I’d call normal, but I’ve never noticed anything weird on your body...and I’m  _ very _ familiar with your body. What’s going on?” 

 

Castiel groaned, rubbing at his face, “Dean and I...well, we finally had sex and while he was touching me he…” his hands flailed a bit as he tried to form the words in a more eloquent way but that just wasn’t possible, “To put it bluntly, he found another hole.” 

 

Maccready blinked at him. 

 

Silence filled the air between them for what felt like a very long moment. 

 

“He what now?” Maccready asked, more than a little confused. 

 

Castiel sighed, finally giving up and deciding that there really was no reason to be embarrassed by it.  He’d just...never actually told Dean that he and MacCready used to have sex. A lot. Castiel doubted Benny even knew.

 

“You know that really sensitive spot I have between my balls and dick?” he asked, waiting for MacCready to nod with a knowing smirk.  Castiel slapped at his arm with a huffed out a laugh.

 

“Anyway, it’s there.  Whatever the hell is going on with me, it’s like...opened or something.  I even get wet now,” he said.

 

MacCready shrugged, “I dunno what to tell you man, I’ve never seen anything like that...there were stories more like myths, to be honest, that I heard back in the day, about guys who could do that, could get wet or whatever. Something about a blessing from the Gods or something I don’t know, I always thought it was just another Fairy Tale. You’re makin the right call though, heading to Finch Farms, going to see the doc I’m guessing?”

 

Castiel nodded, “I don’t feel any different, well anywhere else anyway.  I still need to know what the hell is happening to me though. You think it could be all the radiation?  That it’s finally changing our biology?” he asked almost as an afterthought. It’d been something he’d wondered about before.  It’s been a little over two hundred and fifty years since the bombs fell and the only radiation effect on humans he’d seen were the green mutants.  

 

“No idea, you’re barking up the wrong tree if you think I’ve got any more clue what’s going on than you do. Maybe try the old man, or hell Dean’s kid brother seems like he knows a lot of weird shit, maybe he could help?” MacCready said, flopping down onto the small couch with a sigh. His body ached in a good way. He’d gotten more of a workout in Sanctuary Hills than he expected, not to mention the goddamn sex marathons he and Benny were getting up to whenever they had half a moment of privacy. 

 

“Oh uh...I think I’ll wait to speak with Pamela,” Castiel laughed, his cheeks burning at the thought of even trying to bring that up to Bobby.  The old man would probably hiss at him, throw something at his face and run away screaming. Hell, he could even picture Sam doing the same thing. 

 

Castiel really looked at his friend and smiled at how relaxed MacCready seemed at the moment, “You like it here don’t you?” he asked.

 

He shrugged a bit, trying to hide just how much he’d started to feel attached. He knew it couldn’t be home, people like him didn’t have homes, but it was nice and it was Benny’s home, that made it special too. 

 

“It’s okay, but you know me...and I enjoy the work we do,” he said honestly, though in the back of his mind, he didn’t think it would be so bad if they visited often. 

 

Castiel’s smile widened and he shook his head, “You know, if you ever did want to settle, take a break from all this you can-”

 

MacCready snorted, “Yeah, I’ll take a break when you do.”

* * *

 


	16. Chapter 16

It didn’t take very long for them to reach Finch Farm.  But what was amusing were the looks of confusion on both Dean and Benny’s faces as they looked around.  Castiel chuckled as they got closer, MacCready doing the same. Finch Farm at first glance didn’t seem like much.  There was a long river running alongside it with plenty of space to have crops, which they did and one smallish hut in the middle of it with what looked like a dilapidated overpass positioned right over it.  It wasn’t until you actually looked up that you got to see the real Finch Farm. The settlers and Castiel had come up with the idea and thanks to the steel mill that Castiel’s people had, they built a staircase that managed to reach the overpass.  The road was about three miles long and that was where the true settlement was built. The staircase was the only way in or out of the actual settlement that was heavily guarded at all times. 

 

“Look up fellas,” Castiel grinned, turning to watch each of their eyes widen when they finally noticed it.  

 

“Castiel!  Hey, Castiel’s here!” Gabriel shouted, jumping down from where he was sitting on the railing that circled around the small hut on the ground.  Castiel grinned widely as the shorter man trotted over and hugged him.

 

“Hey Gabriel.  How is everything?” Castiel asked.

 

“Eh, good.  Had some trouble from those bastard raiders right after your group left but they didn’t stand a fucking chance,” Gabriel cackled, his golden brown eyes flicking behind Castiel.

 

“Who’s the beefcakes?” he asked with a quirked brow.  

 

Castiel snorted, “Gabriel, this is Dean and Benny.  Guys, this is Gabriel, leader of Finch Farm.”

 

“This is a pretty awesome setup you got here man...I-I’ll admit, I was surprised,” Dean said, offering his hand with a bright smile. He was so damn proud of Cas, this had his name all over it. His love was clever and resourceful, the beaming warmth in his chest only grew the more he looked over the area. 

 

“That’s what we’re all about here, the element of surprise.  Can’t even see the long-range turrets can ya?” Gabriel smirked, shaking the two new guys’ hands before pulling MacCready into a hug, “How ya doin sour puss?” he chuckled, quickly dodging MacCready’s fist.

 

Dean’s smile widened and he laughed, full-hearted belly laughed, “I like you already.”

 

“Call me that again, Gabriel...I know where you sleep.” MacCready growled, the imp of a man only became smugger. He regretted a few of his life choices that led him here but Benny was warm at his side and it was enough to not truly regret it all. 

 

“Yeah you do,” Gabriel smirked, giving the man a wink before sauntering over towards the stairs.  

 

Castiel damn near swallowed his tongue and quickly just grabbed at Dean’s arm to yank him forward.  He had totally forgotten that MacCready had sometimes...spent a little time with Gabriel while they’d been here.  Castiel had been tempted a few times himself but Gabriel always managed to ruin it with that damn mouth of his.

 

Benny’s eyes widened as he looked over at MacCready who was turning scarlet.  He couldn’t help it, he barked out a laugh and shook his head. Who was he to condemn a man for previous relationships?  As long as MacCready didn’t do anything now with the guy, Benny honestly didn’t care.

 

“You alright there sweetheart?” Benny snickered.

 

“Contemplating homicide, but otherwise, fine,” he said through gritted teeth. There had only been a handful of times, but still, he felt shame. Normally he wouldn’t, hell he’d defend the times he and Castiel had gotten lonely to the grave, but Gabriel was like a bad stain that just wouldn’t go away. The man lived to make his life hell. They’d been there for less than ten minutes and already he’d gotten under his skin. 

 

“It was a long time ago,” he promised Benny, “I’ve since grown wiser.” 

 

“Well if the need strikes...just make sure I’m far away,” Benny teased, pulling his boyfriend closer to kiss at his jaw before being playfully pushed away, “What?!  I’m just teasing!” he snickered.

 

“I have no plans of having anyone else warm my bed, otherwise I’d have let you bring in that little twink from the shore,” MacCready said quietly, not giving anyone a chance to overhear what they’d discussed. 

 

“This looks more awesome the further we get in,” Dean said to Cas, his eyes taking in the full landscape of the settlement. It was unlike anything he’d ever seen. All these new places he’d seen, it was surreal. He’d expected everything to be in shambles but the work Cas and his people did was extraordinary. 

 

Castiel glanced back to see Benny and MacCready close and he smiled, thankful that Gabriel’s antics hadn’t caused any harm.  He waited for Gabriel to add their names to the list that they kept on hand to know exactly who came and went from the settlement.

 

“Wait till we go up.  Now, just a heads up, Michael’s back,” Gabriel groaned, rolling his eyes.

 

“Oh...lovely.  Wait, does that mean Luc is here as well?” Castiel asked.

 

“Mmhmm, probably the reason why Mikey’s got a stick up his ass,” Gabriel said, turning to start climbing up the stairs.

 

Castiel sighed and took up Dean’s hand to begin following Gabriel, “Michael and Luc are brothers, in fact they’re all siblings.  Luc is the oldest, then Michael and then Gabriel. The only reason why Gabriel is the leader is because I made it so. Michael sits on a pedestal that we all have to knock him off of regularly and Luc hates the idea of being in charge,” Castiel explained, noticing how Gabriel was nodding with what he was saying.  

 

“Besides, Luc and Michael are hardly ever here.  They recruit, trying to find more settlers but ultimately they’re trying to find their dad who got lost in a rad storm several years ago.”

 

“Ah man, that sucks...but at least you’ve got someone who’s not too crazy running the place, right?” Dean asked, though Castiel’s following snort hadn’t inspired confidence. 

 

“We should get-settled in,” he directed at the last moment. He wasn’t sure Cas would want anyone to know he was here to see the doctor so he didn’t mention it aloud. “You can show me around the place later, a  _ private _ tour if you don’t mind.” 

 

Gabriel smirked pulling out a lollipop out of nowhere to suck on, “Now remember, we got kids around here,” he said wagging his eyebrows.

 

“Oh my God shut up you shit,” Castiel laughed shaking his head.

 

“What?  I haven’t seen you in a while and when I do you got this arm candy with you?  Psh, cut me some slack kiddo,” Gabriel said. 

 

“Yeah, ain’t gonna happen.  We’ll see you for dinner,” Castiel laughed.  Gabriel nodded and descended back down the stairs.

 

“Sometimes I miss being here and then he reminds me why I love Nordhagen so much,” Castiel laughed.

 

“Because he’s not there?” Dean teased, a small chuckle shared between them. He pulled Cas in for a kiss, because he could, and fought back the urge to moan because it felt as if it had been far too long. When they finally pulled away Dean circled his arms around Cas’ waist and squeezed gently. “I figure give it a few minutes till he’s gone then we can go find the doctor?” 

 

Castiel blushed but nodded, “Yeah, let’s drop our stuff off.  We have permanent rooms here,” he said leading the way through the bustling market area.  He was proud to see that there were members from the other two settlements there trading, all of them raising a hand in greeting to Castiel.  Hopefully, soon he’d be able to get the Sanctuary on their list as well. 

 

Surrounding the market place were the apartments.  A word Castiel had no idea meant until someone showed him the meaning in a worn out book.  It fit perfectly and they even built a sign over the main entryway to the buildings that said “Finch Apartments.”  It was silly and dumb but they all loved it. 

 

Their rooms were along the edge, allowing them an amazing view of the Commonwealth.  MacCready had one to himself of course but they were right next door to each other. It wasn't much, just a bedroom and a bathroom that they had painstakingly worked a plumbing system to.

 

“Welcome to my apartment,” Castiel laughed closing the door behind Dean once he was inside.

 

“Wow, this is...wow,” he said. The more Dean saw of this place the more impressed he became. Their huts might have offered a bit more privacy from being spread out differently, but Dean couldn’t help the sheer awe that came over him when he stepped into the square of living space designated just for Castiel. 

 

Castiel smiled as he watched Dean look around with a look of wonder on his face.  He had to keep reminding himself that Dean had been stuck in Sanctuary Hills all his life up until now.  Unlike Castiel and the others. It was moments like this that had him really looking at his surroundings and allowed himself to feel the swell of pride.  Luc and Michael liked to take credit in a lot of the settlement ground work but it had been all Gabriel and Castiel. Castiel drew up the plans, Gabriel worked his magic and practically made it appear with a snap of his fingers.  The man was a magician and where Castiel had to work to understand machinery, Gabriel knew it from a glance.

 

Castiel began taking off his layers until he was in just his pants, boots and the light long sleeved shirt he wore under the leather trench coat.  Dean was still staring out the window when Castiel gently pulled his Minuteman coat off, carefully laying it over the chair on top of his.

 

“This is-I-I don’t actually have words.” On the day to day, Dean had always expected The Commonwealth to be a wasteland and had never disappointed him up until that moment. His eyes roved over the view, the water sparkling in the sunlight, it was all...wonderful. He’d never seen a sight more striking, well except for maybe Cas but he was beautiful in a different way. 

 

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, his chin resting on the man’s shoulder as they both looked out the window.  By the wash of colors in the sky, they were in store for a beautiful sunset and Castiel couldn’t help smiling softly. Something he caught himself doing more and more often these days.  He brushed his lips along Dean’s neck and hummed, content in staying just like that.

 

That was until they started to hear the noises coming through the wall.  Castiel’s eyes widened and couldn’t help snorting, “Oh...wow,” he laughed.

 

“C’mon, let’s give them a little privacy? I want- _ need  _ to make sure you’re okay,” Dean said, squeezing gently at Cas’ hand until he agreed. Part of him knew that Castiel was just as curious and terrified about what was happening with his body as Dean was, but he also knew that he’d been anxious and had tried to quietly put it off a little. 

 

Castiel nodded, the nerves fluttering around in his belly as he walked them through the apartments and back into the marketplace.  The clinic had its own corner where the primary doctor resided in. Thankfully there was no one in the waiting room and Castiel was able to greet Pamela with a hug.

 

“Hey feathers, lookin’ good.” Pam grinned, then she paused, a quick set of flashes penetrated her mind. Normally she would have had to take something for this but they found her anyway and she gasped in surprise. 

 

“What-What’s that, what’s she doing?” Dean asked. He’d already been on edge but the way she just seemed to freeze up and gasp in the hug freaked him out. 

 

Castiel swallowed hard and gently pushed Pamela away, helping her to sit down as her sight took her to places he couldn’t see.  He took Dean’s hand and pulled him away a bit, “Have you ever heard of anyone having ‘the sight’?” Castiel asked quietly.

 

“Not without-not without chems,” he said, the last part just barely audible. He didn’t want to offend the woman who slowly seemed to be coming back to herself. 

 

Pam hadn’t ever thought of herself as an emotional kind of woman, sure she got pissed off and frustrated at how the world worked, even let herself cry over it a time or two but nothing, _ nothing _ had ever made her want to sob the way those images had. When she came back to the familiar sight of her office, tears were streaming down her cheeks and Castiel seemed to be paling more by the moment. 

 

“Oh no, no its...it’s good, it’s sooo good, Castiel.” 

 

“Pamela, you promised me you would cut back on the chems,” Castiel said sternly, avoiding Dean’s wide-eyed stare.

 

“I haven’t-Castiel I haven’t this is-this is something else something... _ fated.”  _ she answered, pulling him in to kiss at both his cheeks before doing the same to his lover. She could barely breathe she was so happy, though she tried very hard to control herself.  “Oh you two, you two are...it’s magic. The world you’ll build is pure, raw magic.” 

 

“Look lady, I’ll give the hippy juice a pass if you’ll just tell us what the hell is going on,” Dean said, finding himself more irritated as his confusion deepened. 

 

Castiel cupped the sides of Pamela’s face to get her to focus, “Talk to me.  You know what’s wrong with me...don’t you?” he asked, voice hitching at the end.

 

“Nothing is  _ wrong with you _ Castiel, you’re pregnant. You’re going to have a gorgeous little baby, multiple babies if you want them, and..and you’re going to save The Commonwealth, you and lover boy over there, you’re going to save us all. I’ve seen it.” Pam kissed at his face again because she could but then quickly backed away to give him time with his mate. 

 

“Pr-pregnant?P-pregnant...I-” Dean didn’t know what to say, he stuttered a bit trying to force his mind to recognize the information she’d given but it did  _ not  _ compute. 

 

Castiel staggered back from Pamela as if she had struck him.  He nearly fell over and even though he didn’t mean it, he pushed away from Dean as well.  His head was spinning and suddenly he felt sick.

 

“It’s...it’s not possible.  Men can’t get pregnant! I-I can’t be pregnant!” Castiel shouted, eyes frantically going between Dean and Pamela.  The smile on her face made his stomach churn again and he found himself surging towards the trash bin to throw up.

 

“Oh darlin’, you are...and I know it's a lot to take in, but I give you my word Castiel, this is a good thing.” 

 

With his boyfriend heaving up his stomach, Dean snapped out of the daze he’d been in. He swiftly dropped to the floor, dragging Cas with him so that he wasn’t trying to empty himself while standing. He wrapped tightly around him, a hard warm presence against his back, whispering sweet comforts until he finally started to calm. 

 

Castiel felt as if he was being torn into a hundred little pieces inside.  One wanted Dean to continue holding him, one wanted to push and hit Dean until the man didn’t want to touch him anymore and the other...well...the other was like a flare of joy.  Something bright in his usual dark clouded thoughts. He’d always wanted a child but gave it up the moment he realized he liked men and not women. Maybe he could adopt later on down the road from one of the many schools they had in their settlements.  This though, him being pregnant and able to bring in new life from his own body...it was surreal. 

 

Through the whirlwind, another emotion was breaking through making him tremble so hard his teeth chattered.  He was terrified. What if the others found out and couldn’t accept him? Would they label him a freak like everyone had the Ghouls and cast him out?  He and Dean had just barely got together and now they had this to deal with, it was too much. 

 

Dean’s voice in his ear was soft but Castiel couldn’t understand anything he was saying, the harsh beat of his heart drowned it out.  His fingers dug into Dean’s arm as he whispered, “I’m scared.”

 

“I know sweetheart, I know, me too but, but we can do this. You’re going to be  _ great _ at this and I don’t need chems or magic to see that,” Dean said, rubbing softly at Cas’ dark tufts of hair. He wanted so badly to calm his boyfriend and soothe him from the terror he was feeling but he knew that it would take time. “It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be  _ better _ than okay, Cas. We’re having a baby.” 

 

Castiel swallowed hard, a pitiful mewl leaving his throat when Dean dragged a hand down his stomach, keeping his palm pressed against it.  Castiel covered Dean’s hand with his own and slowed his breathing. They stayed that way for a really long time but Castiel managed to get himself to his feet.  Pamela did a full check up on him, even getting her weird machine to work so they could actually see the inside of his stomach. It wasn’t anything really but Pamela pointed out that yes, he, in fact, did have a uterus and even though it was the size of a bean they could see it.  

 

Castiel felt completely overwhelmed and started crying.  Deep heaving sobs that had his body trembling all over again.  Pamela offered to give him something to calm down but Dean pointedly glared at her before Castiel could even say anything.  

 

“I-I think I need to go lay down now,” Castiel said, sitting up slowly but kept his hand on his stomach as if he could protect they tiny thing inside with sheer will alone.

 

Dean tried not to dote on Cas as much as he wanted to during their short trip back to the apartment. He wanted so badly to pick the man up and carry him, to fawn over him to buy him a trinket, he wasn’t even sure what, he just needed to  _ do _ something. “C’mon, just a little more.” 

 

When they were finally inside their small space, thankfully quieter now that the room beside theirs wasn’t filled with grunts and moans. He laid down on the bed beside Cas, hesitantly curling around him and humming contentedly. “It’s completely up to you and there’s no rush but..would you want to tell Mac and Benny about the uh, baby?”

 

Despite how he had felt earlier, now he needed Dean’s touch like he had craved that Jet weeks ago.  Just the brush of his skin soothed some deep ache that had been building and he yanked Dean’s arm tighter around himself like the man could be his blanket.  When his boyfriend touched at his stomach it wasn’t enough. Castiel pushed those hands under his shirt and let out an embarrassing whimper at the skin contact.  

 

“If we’re traveling together then I have to.  It wouldn’t be safe or smart, I’m just afraid it’ll be too much.  Hell, it’s almost too much for me,” he said softly.

 

“Well, I dunno about  _ your _ friend but mine is going to be delighted. Benny’ loves babies and he’s going to love ours the most,” Dean said in a soft whisper. He didn’t want to give it away before Cas was ready to tell them himself and apparently, the walls were thin. “I’ll take care of you, you know that right? I mean you can do whatever you want as far as your work goes and I’ll support that but I’m not going to let anything happen to you or our baby.”

 

Dean chewed at his lip. “Besides, that Pam lady sure seemed happy about it, about our future. I think, even if just for a little bit, we could be happy too.” 

 

Castiel smiled, turning a little so he could look up at Dean.  His chest fluttered at the love he saw in those eyes and leaned up for a kiss which his boyfriend happily gave him, “I love you,” he said softly, dragging his thumb along Dean’s cheekbone.

 

“We’ll talk to them after dinner.  For now I wanna just stay in here with you.”

 

“No complaints here,” he grinned, snuggling closer to Cas. He carefully squeezed around his middle, a bit awestruck by everything they’d been told. Still, he couldn’t think of anything better than getting to keep Castiel and having a baby, or maybe more, too. He was nervous as hell, terrified he’d screw everything up, but Dean refused to let it overwhelm the happiness and warmth he felt. 

 

* * *

  
  


While usually, he was content in paying Benny all his attention, MacCready noticed something  _ off _ about their friends the moment they’d started to make their way toward the market for supper. They were talking in hushed tones between one another sometimes and Dean couldn’t keep his hands off Castiel. It wasn’t the small innocent touches he’d noticed from time to time but full on, arms wrapped around him and soft kisses pressed at his neck. 

 

It made him confused and apparently surprised the hell out of Benny too. Even when he and Castiel had been fucking, the man hated being fawned over publicly...they weren’t romantic or anything, they’d both known the score but still...he’d gotten a glare for even trying to hug him in front of other people. 

 

“This is weird,” he said to Benny, “This is weird right?” 

 

His boyfriend seemed to agree but they kept walking and tried to ignore it. 

 

It only got worse at supper, Dean sat Castiel down at the closest table and told him he’d be back with his food. His arms were half loaded down with food when he came back. More than any two people could eat; fresh fruits, bread, meat, a variety of probably everything Finch Farms had to offer...which was a lot. 

 

Castiel didn’t even complain, just flushed and agreed to eat as much as he could of what Dean had put in front of him. 

 

“What the actual fuc-” he started to say but Benny clenched one of his big hands around his thigh and shook his head.

 

Benny noticed everything and even more so the closer he looked at Dean.  But right now, in front of a bunch of strangers was not the place to start asking personal questions.  Though as the night pressed on, the weirder Castiel and Dean got. The amount of time he knew Castiel he had learned that the guy was just not bashful if anything he was blunt and rude without even meaning to be.  But now, he was acting almost...demure. And Dean was soaking it up like a damn sponge. His mouth dropped open a bit and neither he or MacCready could really focus on eating. Castiel and Dean were so wrapped up in each other they didn’t even notice the way he and MacCready were staring at them.  

 

It wasn’t until Dean took their trays back to the sink that he noticed just how much Dean was touching at Castiel’s stomach that a light bulb seemed to go off in his head.  Benny shoved some of the bread he had been nibbling on into his mouth and shared a look with MacCready before nodding his head at the other two.  

 

“Oh yeah, I saw that too. Though I’m pretty sure we could both be giant purple flying Brahmin and they wouldn’t notice right now.” MacCready said, his tone at a regular volume but neither Castiel nor Dean paid any attention to him speaking. He was a little past concerned at this point, just impatiently waiting until they had more privacy. 

 

Benny snorted, finishing off his food before taking up their trays as well.  They followed closely behind Dean and Castiel and instead of going to MacCready’s, they followed them into Castiel’s.  That was the first time they’d been noticed all night. Dean frowned at them and Benny laughed.

 

“So uh, you gonna tell us what’s going on here?” Benny asked gesturing between Castiel and Dean.

 

“Yeah, cause not that I mind  _ you,”  _ he said, pointing at Dean before continuing, “keeping your pretty mouth shut but I think we’re both about done being ignored.” 

 

“We-We weren’t-” but when he looked to Cas he could see the guilt and felt it himself. Dean sighed, left the door open for their friends and eased it shut behind them. “It wasn’t intentional.” 

 

Castiel bit his lip and sighed, moving to sit down on his bed while everyone else moved around to get more comfortable.  Benny and MacCready lowered down on the two chairs he had in the room while Dean crawled on the bed as well, situating himself behind Castiel.  

 

“Hey, if it’s something serious, you only gotta tell us if you want to,” Benny said softly.

 

“It’s up to you, sweetheart. We can wait if you want...though if it were up to me I’d be screaming it from the rooftops,” Dean teased, the last part quietly just beside Cas’ ear. 

 

Castiel blushed a little, “I think we should,” he said softly, glancing up almost shyly at MacCready and Benny.  He swallowed hard, his fingers gripping at Dean’s to keep himself calm.

 

“This is going to sound completely insane,” he said and then looked at MacCready knowingly, praying that the man remembered their conversation before they had left Sanctuary Hills.  

 

“We noticed that there was something...different about me.  At first, it was something physically but now, it’s my entire biology that’s not, well,  _ normal _ .  I’m uh...I’m-” Castiel looked up at MacCready again and held his breath, “I’m pregnant.”

 

“Umm…” MacCready started, he blinked a few times as he gave his mind time to process but it still took longer than it should have. 

 

_ How in the world was Castiel pregnant...  _

 

_ Did Dean do something to him?  _

 

No, no that’s not possible. He might not like Dean fully, not yet, but he knew enough about the man to know he’d sooner shoot himself in the head than do anything to hurt Castiel. 

 

“Okay..um...congratulations?” he said, unsure of what else to do but Benny had already rushed forward and half tackled Dean to the bed and into a big hug. 

 

“I don’t know this is possible but oh my God Dean!  This is amazing!” Benny cried first hugging Dean and then practically scooped Castiel up to spin around the room.  Castiel let out the most adorable peal of laughter and Benny put him down.

 

“So wait...how exactly  _ is  _ this possible?” Benny asked.

 

“Hell if I know man, I’m just fucking happy,” Dean said, swallowing hard, his voice thick with emotion. It was such a tentative thing, something he couldn’t see or hear or  _ know _ in the sense that his logical mind accepted it. But he could feel it, just as he felt the bond between himself and Castiel. 

 

“You-You’re a breeder,” MacCready said, feeling a little unbalanced. He and Castiel had fucked multiple times and he’d never even considered the fact that he-no wait, he couldn’t have. Cas said it was something new, something only with Dean.

 

The room seemed to stop and all eyes turned on him. “I-I thought they didn’t exist, a-fairy tale…”

 

Castiel wanted to deny it but he couldn't.  The evidence that breeders actually existed was right there in his belly.  He remembered MacCready mentioning them a long time ago but had brushed it off like he had when anyone brought up the Institute.  

 

“I don’t know much about them, MacCready probably knows more than I do but according to the rumors and myths,  breeders are men who are able to reproduce but I think there’s more to it than that,” Castiel said giving MacCready a knowing look, “I’ve always been sensitive but nothing ever... _ appeared _ until I was with Dean.  I’m beginning to think that it doesn’t work unless you’re with the person who can help you conceive,” Castiel said mostly to himself.

 

It’s stupid, he knew it was stupid but somehow he still felt some indescribable hurt. He had a child, didn’t need another one, and if he did, he wouldn't have wanted that with Cas...but still it stung. He shook away his bad thoughts and smiled up at Castiel. “Congratulations boss, I’m happy for you.” 

 

Dean could tell there was something else going on with Mac, hell he was pretty sure they could all see it, but he didn’t comment. He’d leave that for Benny to sort out. “Thanks man, that-that means a lot.” 

 

Castiel reached over and squeezed at MacCready’s hand, “Thank you,” he said softly.

 

Benny watched his boyfriend and bit his lip, knowing full well that this was a conversation they were going to have when they were alone.

 

“So, how do we do this?  Are we keeping this a secret or letting everyone know?” Benny asked.

 

Castiel sat back against Dean and sighed, rubbing a hand down his face, “I don’t think we should announce it to everyone just yet.  I’ll let a few people know like Gabriel, Hannah and probably Meg just so they’re aware. I just don’t want the wrong people finding out,” he said.  The thought of someone like Samuel Campbell finding out that not only is his grandson having a child but was a breeding pair...it could end horribly for all of them.

 

“Not right away, but eventually we’ll have to decide who we trust most and pick a home base. It’s not good to drag a kid across The Commonwealth,” Dean said, feeling Castiel freeze in his arms. “Hey, no no..you, you have work to do sweetheart. I’m not saying you can’t do that, it’s important. We’ll figure something out. I could-I mean hell I could watch the kid and let you go off and be a badass if you want. I don’t care.” 

 

“We’ll figure it out later, for now, I want to focus on our work,” Castiel said.  He couldn’t help the flutter in his stomach when Dean mentioned settling down. He just wasn’t sure if it was a good or a nervous feeling.  To be in a position to stay in one place and feel safe had been such a far away idea for so long that now when it was dangled in front of him he was nervous about taking that chance.  

 

Benny nodded and got up again, giving each of them a tight hug, “C’mon, it’s getting late and if I know Castiel he’s gonna put us to work first thing in the morning,” Benny smirked.

 

MacCready quickly agreed, heading straight for the door as Benny said their goodbyes for him. He wasn’t even sure what the hell was going on with him but he tamped down the urge to shoot at something. Once they were back in his own apartment with his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around him, he’d feel better.

 

At least he hoped he would. 

* * *

  
  
  


Benny took the shirt he had hanging from his back pocket and wiped at his brow.  Over the last week, the weather had shifted drastically becoming so hot it was like they were being deep fried.  Today was the worst of them all and the sun was not letting up, not even an inch. There was no breeze either, making the air thick and hard to breathe.  He, Dean and MacCready were all back on the ground helping the farmers first get their tato plants harvested and then there was an expansion to work on. That was where MacCready was.  All of them had stipped out of their shirts, hell even a few of the women had done so just to get the irritating cloth off their bodies. At some point, the settlers from the overpass began dumped buckets of water on them.  It had felt great until the water on their skin dried.

 

Castiel had wanted to join them but once Dean had felt how hot it was, he somehow managed to convince the guy to find something else to do.  Benny waited with bated breath to see if a fight between the two would break out but Castiel had simply nodded, kissed Dean and went off to find Gabriel.  Benny nearly pissed himself.

 

“Yo Benny, go on up and see if those lemonades are done yeah?” Ash called out from his post.  Benny stared at him before shaking his head. The guy was squirrely and not what he imagined as top security but both Gabriel and Castiel trusted the guy.  Benny threw his rake down and walked over to Benny and MacCready to make sure they were doing alright. When he got a few grunts in response he headed on upstairs.  The trip was exhausting and by the time he made it to the top, he wanted to keel over. It was much cooler up here, even with all the metal buildings.

 

He made it over to the mess hall and got a wave from one of the line workers.  He could see from where he was standing that they were loading up the pitchers of lemonade and Benny took this chance to sit down in the shade.

 

Pam sipped at a cool glass of water, her hair pulled back to keep it out of her face. She’d been changed by what she’d seen when those images of the future came to her through Castiel, but there was something else, something...undefined and she’d debated ignoring it. She didn’t like to rattle the cage, not when it came to this at least. 

 

But then Benny showed up in front of her, flushed and sweaty. It was a hot day and he’d no doubt been working furiously under the sun but he looked as if he was ready to pass out and she couldn’t help but be a bit nosy. She was a healer after all…

 

She made her way over, crouching in front of him. “You okay there handsome?” 

 

Benny jumped at the sudden appearance of someone in front of him.  He’d been spacing out for the last few minutes. He nodded slowly with a hum, “Mmhmm, just a little hot,” he said wiping at his face again.

 

“You’re Benny right? Dean’s friend...MacCready’s...well MacCready’s.” she asked with a smile, though she knew the answer. Still, it probably would have been weird for him to just know so much about him without knowing him, though she truly felt like she did.

 

“Yes ma’am,” Benny said with a little smile.  He looked up in time to see the line workers placing the lemonade at the table he was sitting on and lifted his hand in thanks.  

 

“I’m guessin you’re Pam?” Benny asked slowly getting up from the table.  There was a single glass of lemonade off to the side and he groaned in relief, downing it in a few gulps.  It was perfectly sweet and stung the inside of his throat it was so cold.

 

“That’d be me,” she said with a small smile. Pam’s hand itched to reach out, she wasn’t even sure she’d get anything without taking chems and she’d promised Castiel she wouldn’t, though it had been tempting. But maybe she wouldn’t need to...maybe, “Could I touch you? Just your arm or the back of your neck if that’s okay.” 

 

Benny frowned though if he was being honest, curiosity was licking at his spine, “Why?”

 

“Sometimes, I can have visions of the future, without chems...Well, it’s only happened once but I just, I have this feeling about you and I’d really like to see if it would work for you too.” She didn’t have to mention that Castiel had been the only person it worked and even then, only after he’d met and fallen in love with Dean. She’d tended his wounds several times, touched him even while she was on chems and it had been blurry at best, but the vivid flashes from the day before were unlike anything he’d ever experienced. 

 

Benny swallowed hard and nodded, lowering himself back down to sit to allow her to move closer.

 

“Where would you prefer, your arm or the back of your neck...sometimes it’s easier if it’s the back of the neck but with you, I’m not even sure it would matter,” she said, trying not to rush through it. It was...a heady feeling for her and she knew it was sometimes draining when she read someone, though Castiel paling had probably had more to do with the whole baby thing than the session itself. 

 

Benny stared at her for a moment.  Was this woman for real or was she about to make a fool out of him?  He was already feeling out of sorts and there was still so much more to do.  He wanted to ask MacCready to take a break, to go to his apartment and rest for a bit but that would be fair to anyone else working their asses off down there.  

 

“Uh, whatever is better for you I guess,” he asked with a shrug.

 

“Okay, it won’t hurt or anything but hold still and don’t freak out if I faint, it happens sometimes.” 

 

The instant her hand made contact with the back of his neck, the same style of bright, technicolored visions swarmed through her mind. 

 

_ Two naked writhing bodies, the larger one underneath while the smaller, still powerful moves fluidly behind. All heat and slick and gasping moans, soft sweet whispers of I love yous and your beautifuls and raw passion.  _

 

_ A young boy, dark hair dark eyes, different but not different, still theirs. Then another and another. Three total, all beautiful and full of joy and strength and love. _

 

_ Fiery crashes, buildings collapsing but not...not bad? Joy ripples throughout the Commonwealth. Retribution, Safety for all. No more experiments, no more raiders, no more senseless death.  _

 

_ “Papa, Papa look what I did!”  _

_ “Uncle Benny look!”  _

_ Magic? Something..she can’t see.  _

 

_ A dark haired girl, looks back at her as if she can see her. _

_ “I see you.” _

_ “You need to stop or you’ll burn out, stop looking now!”  _

  
  


Pam gasped as she came back to herself, her body was fevered and exhausted in a way she’d never felt before. Lava running through her veins, feeling as if the flicker of power in her core had caught like wildfire and spilled over into her blood forcing the heat out to all of her limbs. 

 

“Whoa, whoa holy shit, are you okay?” Benny asked quickly grabbing up the lemonade he’d been sipping from.  He helped her drink it before sitting back and staring at her. He’d felt something, a buzzing in his head and there had been a voice.  It was soft and he didn’t recognize it at all but it had filled him with a joy he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

 

“What the hell was that?” he asked, looking around to see a few people staring at them.

 

“That was.. _ intense _ ,” Pam answered with a groan. She still felt like she’d been dipped in the hellfire but she was coming back to herself, if slowly. 

 

They sat there, quietly for a minute as the heat waves rushing through her ebbed to a slow, simmer. “I can tell you things, things about your future if you want to know...some don’t, it’s-it’s good but still, some don’t want to know.” 

 

Benny looked down at his hands and sighed.  Knowing one's future didn’t always promise that it would happen in exactly that way.  Things can shift and change the entire course completely, “Just...tell me what you think I should know.”

 

“Have you-spoken to Castiel about anything lately?” she asked, though she was almost certain he knew, the look on his face when he’d said her name seemed like an admission of that at the least. When he nodded, she continued. “You’re like him...well not  _ completely _ but do you understand what I mean when I say you could be? You could be like him one day, will be if that’s what you want.” 

 

Benny’s mouth dropped open to say that it wasn’t possible.  And even so, did that mean MacCready wasn’t the guy he was meant to be with then?  Benny rubbed at his face and shook his head, “Even if that’s something I’d want, I can’t do that to Mac,” he said quietly.  

 

“Oh sweetheart, it would only work if some part of you wanted it, some part of  _ you both _ wanted it. There’s...requirements. It’s not just body chemistry, there’s an element of magic to it,” Pam assured him, squeezing softly at his hand now that she was sure it wasn’t going to take her back in, the energy she’d sensed buzzing off of him earlier was nearly gone. “Talk to your mate, tell him. If it’s not something that either of you wants, then you don’t have to worry.”

 

“I don’t know...I have to get back,” he said quickly getting up from the table.  He pulled the strap over his shoulder and hesitated. Pam was sitting there, staring up at him and he sighed.

 

“Thank you for telling me.  I’ll figure it out,” he said softly before hurrying off towards the stairs.

* * *

 

MacCready had noticed Benny had changed over the last couple days, closed himself off. Usually, there was a give and take in who initiated sex but he’d tried and failed multiple times. He understood, really he’d tried at least but the one time Benny had made the effort it seemed...well forced. Not only that but they’d stopped talking, not for a lack of trying on his part but his boyfriend just seemed to stay in his own head and MacCready was starting to get worried. 

 

They were leaving soon, they’d likely be back to sharing with Dean and Castiel and normally he wouldn’t have minded but with everything else going on, the last thing he wanted was for them to witness whatever was wrong with their relationship. 

 

Benny looked gorgeous in his sleep, MacCready took a moment to just run his fingers over the soft skin of his shoulder. With every rise and fall of his chest, there was something that settled inside him. He knew the man might be struggling with something but he was there, he was alive, he was still his. 

 

Those blue eyes flickered open and he smiled, small but sincere. “Good morning.” 

 

“Mornin,” Benny said, lifting his hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes.  He felt like wrung out rag. Sleep had not been within his reach lately, only getting maybe two or three hours at a time.  He knew he wasn’t being fair to Mac, in fact, he was being an outright dick to the guy if he was being honest. Benny didn’t want to burden the guy with what that woman had shared with him.  He wasn’t even sure it was something he wanted but that didn’t give him the right to treat his boyfriend like he’d done something wrong.

 

Benny hesitated a second, unsure if it would be welcome or if MacCready was pissed at him for being so distant.  He reached out and touched the side of MacCready’s face, gently brushing his thumb along his cheekbone, “You sleep okay?” he asked.

 

“As well as you did,” he shrugged, chewing at his lip a little. “You wanna tell me what I did wrong? I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me…” 

 

“Sweetheart you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise,” Benny said sitting up with a sigh.  He pulled MacCready in closer, “I found out something I’m havin a real hard time dealin with and not really sure how to tell you about it,” Benny said playing with his boyfriend’s fingers weaving them together.

 

“Well I vote for quickly, but whatever works I just need you to tell me...or something. I don’t think it’s getting better on its own.” MacCready took comfort in the touch of Benny’s hand on his, of his body, solid and warm beneath him. 

 

Benny nodded, letting his eyes close for a moment before finally giving in, “That woman, Pam.  She saw something when she touched me. Said I was like Castiel,” he said avoiding MacCready’s eyes.

 

“You’re pregnant?” MacCready’s eyes bulged. With his brain unable to work properly, he didn’t even think about the fact that in the last month that they’d been together not once had he ever fucked Benny. 

 

“What?  No! No, oh God,” Benny shook his head and cupped MacCready’s face to get the man to look up at him, “But I could be...in the future.  If it was something I wanted,” he said.

 

MacCready felt a rush of relief, but then also a hint of sadness. Some part of him had been overjoyed even if a bit panicked, but he fought that down. He had to work at it, but he did. MacCready kept his voice as soft and even as he could manage when he asked, “Is it? Is that something you’d want?” 

 

“I don’t know, maybe?” Benny licked his dry lips and sat up a bit more, his eyes casting over at the wall that separated Castiel and MacCready’s apartment, “I just keep remembering what Castiel said...that it didn’t happen until he got with Dean, that it wouldn’t unless you were with the person that is meant to help you conceive or whatever.  We’ve had plenty of sex and..nothing’s going on down there or well, nothing new. Maybe it’s because you know...I’m still topping,” Benny said blushing furiously but swallowed past it, “I ain’t leavin you for nothin sweetheart, I need you to know that. I love you too damn much,” Benny said.

 

“I love you too, Benny.” MacCready took a few deep breaths and smiled up at his gorgeous boyfriend. “If that’s, I mean if that’s something you really want..I could c-could do that.” 

 

He felt nervous, far more than he’d ever felt with Benny. “Do you want me to try to see if...if something changes?” 

 

“Only if it’s something you want too,” Benny said, gently guiding MacCready up until they were kissing softly.  To say he wasn’t nervous would be an outright lie. He’d never bottomed before but he trusted MacCready to help him through it.

 

“Well I can’t say I wouldn’t love to be inside you, whichever way you want” he said, and while it was true part of him kind of hoped he’d start the traditional route first. He’d finally gotten to a place where things were settling down, Castiel was probably going to be taking some time off soon and that meant there could be time for him to detour and check on his kid. Raising him hadn’t been something MacCready ever thought he’d have a chance at but if they’d give him back, if he’d want to go...well maybe then. 

 

He shoved those thoughts out of his head. If Benny wanted him again, MacCready would do whatever it took to make sure the man was blissfully laid out in pleasure. He moved his hand down to the thick cock that was stirring awake and squeezed at it. 

 

Benny groaned, hips jerking up against MacCready’s palm, “I’ve never uh, been on the bottom before,” he said with a nervous laugh, “May have to walk me through it.”  Benny pushed his hands up and under MacCready’s sleep shirt to touch at his sleep warm skin. While the man’s hands were rough and calloused the rest of his body was soft.  It didn’t matter that there were scars here and there, everywhere else was like touching silk.

 

“That’s okay, let’s start off small,” he said, a warm chuckle surprised him but he actually felt lighter. MacCready kept tugging at Benny’s cock until he was fully hard, using the thumb of his other hand to slowly rub at that sensitive place that used to drive Castiel crazy. 

 

Benny’s hips twitched again, his legs spreading wider to get more of MacCready’s touch.  He scrambled to get the thin cotton off his legs and grinned lewdly as his boyfriend began touching him again.  MacCready’s fingers went right back to where they were, touching lightly at the space between his balls and dick.  He’d never paid too much attention to it but right at that moment, it was sensitive as all hell. 

 

“Ungh, feels good,” he grunted.

 

“Yeah? How bout this,” MacCready said, before pushing in harder and rubbing in small, quick circles. Benny damn arched off the bed, seemingly shocked at how good it had felt. Mac moved until he had most of his torso pressed down across Benny’s stomach and waist, his mouth resting just over the tip of his stiff cock, before again rubbing at that spot with a deep pressure until Benny’s hips jerked up despite the weight on him, and dipped into his mouth. 

 

Benny quickly covered his mouth to stifle the sharp cry that flew out past his lips.  With each circle of MacCready’s fingers a jolt of pleasure surged through his veins, “Oh fuck sweetheart,” he mewled, toes curling into the blankets. 

 

There wasn’t anything happening, no hole there but Benny seemed to be just as sensitive as Castiel, maybe even more so. MacCready wasn’t sure he was ready for another kid, okay he was pretty sure he wasn’t, but he was eager to see the change happen...only it wasn’t. 

 

“C’mon baby...open up for me.” 

 

Benny felt strung out, the longer MacCready touched that spot the more he writhed but it kept him at the cusp, never able to spill over.  He kept waiting for something to change, to feel something inside open up or whatever was supposed to happen.

 

_ “..it would only work if some part of you wanted it, some part of you both wanting it…” _

 

Pamela’s voice rang in his ears.  He grabbed at MacCready’s wrist, making him stop.  It was clear that only one of them truly wanted this and he swallowed hard, “It’s...it’s okay that you don’t want this sweetheart,” he said a little breathlessly.  MacCready opened his mouth to argue but Benny sat up a little, shushing him with a soft kiss, “It’ll only work if both of us want this.”

 

“I do...I just,” MacCready swallowed, it was about time he fessed up he guessed. “I was just hoping, I know it’s stupid but I was hoping we could I don't know, get my son back before we try to make another one..”

 

Benny’s chest tightened with guilt and he cupped the side of MacCready’s face with a sigh, “Shit, of course we can and it’s not stupid.  I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up either. We’ll get him back and safe somewhere, wherever you wanna make a home at. Then we’ll try this again okay?” Benny asked.

 

“It is, though it’s...it’s not going to be easy. I don't even know if he’ll want to come back...I just left him-” MacCready said, a crack in his usually smooth baritone as he voiced his worst fears. He knew it had been for the best, whatever the outcome. If The Gunners had found out he had a kid, no he didn’t like to think about that. He’d had to do it, he hadn’t had Castiel then, and the medical costs just kept going up. 

 

“Hey baby, look at me,” Benny shifted them around until MacCready was on his lap, straddling his legs, “I give you my word we’ll get him back.  You’re his dad, he’ll understand that you had to do what you had to. You kept him safe,” Benny said softly, kissing all over MacCready’s face before pressing their lips together.

 

“I tried…” he said, claiming the soft plump lips once again. Benny’s comforted him more than he had a right to be comforted. A small, too hopeful voice in the back of his mind fed the delusion that he’d get his son back, that they could live in one place and have a steady, strong support system. It all felt unreal but he guessed if Benny was something out of a fairy tale, maybe he would get that happily ever after, after all.

 

“You did,” Benny whispered, kissing his boyfriend deep and slow until he was practically putty in his arms.  He laid them back and hummed. The morning had set out for MacCready to take care of Benny but things got flipped around and Benny was perfectly fine with that.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> make sure to check out my tumblr @bugandkitlove for behind the scenes info for this chapter!


	17. Chapter 17

I am so sorry I have not posted anything in weeks.  This past month and a half have personally been incredibly stressful for me.  Things are looking up but I am taking time off from writing until June.  I have 2 weeks of vacation coming up and even though I’ll finally be meeting @swlfangirl in person for the first time, I’ll more than likely be writing while there.  

I’m still here, still writing, my stories will NEVER be abandoned.  Just have to take an extended break for a bit.

Love you guys.

Sandy.

**Author's Note:**

> Questions? Comments? 
> 
> Please check out my tumblr page for behind the scenes information for this story!!
> 
> https://bugandkitlove.tumblr.com/


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